To love the unloved
by MW3addict
Summary: Jasper is a skittish and nervous teen who can't trust anyone thanks to his neglectful sick and twisted upbringing...Then Alice came along. Will she discover the terrible life he is living. AH-WARNING TRIGGERING CHAPTERS contains major angst, Swear words, Self Harm, Suicide Attempts and Physical and Sexual Abuse
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys. I am back with a new story and my very own laptop! Meaning I can update whenever I want. **

**This is an ALL HUMAN story which contains self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempts and physical and sexual abuse. If this isn't your kind of story, then I am not forcing you to read it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the twilight characters. All I own is the plot.**

**The first chapter is very short because I want to see if you guys like it. I promise you that future chapters will be longer. I will aim for at least 1000 words per chapter other than this one. Anyway, sit back, read and enjoy.**

**Jaspers POV**

I stand in the middle of my room looking at somebody. He hasn't got a shirt on, revealing ugly scars on his chest and stomach along with blue and purple bruises from recent punishments. He is bony with his ribs sticking out more than they should. I glare at the blond boy only to see him glaring back at me. I look at my wrists as he does with his as we both find red lines covering our skin. _He_ made me do this. _He_ punishes me making me want to punish myself even more. I'm surprised that I haven't tried to end it yet. I think about doing it all day every day but I am too much of a coward to do so.

I look back up to those blue eyes full of pain and misery, disgusted when I found out that it was just my reflection in the mirror. My 'father' put it in there to remind me of the cowardly son that he has failed to raise.

I shouldn't blame him.

I deserve everything that has happened to me.

I deserve to die a painful death

I deserve to be hit, beaten until I am unconscious

I deserve to wake up finding out the sick things he had done to me while I was knocked out.

I will never be wanted, liked, loved. It will always be this way. _I_ will always be this way. A sick, scarred, nervous outcast.

I punched the mirror in frustration, cutting my hand open. Blood runs from my knuckles dripping off my fingers. Oh well, I can take pain. Plus the extra pain that my so called father gives me when he finds out the mess that I just made. I don't care anyway.

Who would want me?

**Reviews please... I am hand writing my second chapter and will be typing it up if I get a good amount of reviews so I know that this story is worth carrying on.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter is up and I might upload again today depending that I get a good amount of reviews. This chapter is longer as promised and will be told in the view of Alice.**

**By the way, the ages of some of the characters will be different to the twilight story. E.g Alice is the youngest of the teens instead of Edward.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Alice POV**

Me and my family have just recently moved to forks and we have just spent the first few days moving things around and settling in. Today would be our first day at forks high school and my dad, Carlisle, will be having his first day at his new job. He is working as a doctor and was the best doctor from where we last moved from. My mother Esme, thought that despite the terrible weather, moving to Forks would be a good idea as we found a big house to move into and that was exactly what we needed as there is 4 of us teens now.

There is me of course, 16 years old and the smallest in the house.

There is Emmett, the largest one who is 18 but despite being the oldest of us teenagers, he is very slow minded. He can be smart if you give him time to think things through and has a good sense of humour. He became an orphan at the age of 13 and has been in and out of homes until last year which was when our parents brought him to the family. His girlfriend is his ADOPTED sister Rosalie. She is 17 and can be a nice person once you get to know her but to a lot of people, she can appear to be really bitchy and cold hearted. That may have something to do with her past. She was raped by a guy who she thought she could trust but after that, she closed down on everybody. The saddest part was that her parents just gave up on her and thought it would be a good idea to just dump her in a home. Carlisle and Esme found her straight away at 15.

And then there is Edward. He is 17 years of age and although he is younger than both, Emmett and Rosalie, he acts like the oldest of all of us. Not in a controlling way, more that he is very intelligent and always considers things and thinks things through. I am closest to him but the reason being is because he is my biological brother. I didn't know our real parents because I was given away at birth. I was put into a foster home with my 1 year old brother and had been there until I was 10 and Edward was 11. That was when Esme and Carlisle had adopted us both which was really kind of them. We are all just regular kids really, who just wanted somebody to love us. I really appreciate our new family and hopefully, by going to school I will make some new friends.

"Alice, hurry up. Why are you taking so long" Emmett moaned.

"I am putting on some descent clothes...Problem?" I yelled back at him.

"It doesn't matter what you wear Alice, nobody will see you" He joked.

I grabbed my jacket, finally happy with my choice of clothing and rushed down stairs to punch Emmett on the shoulder.

"Stop with the midget jokes" I warned.

He just laughed. "If you're going to be like this every day, you might as well walk to school. Come on, Eddie's already in the car" He said as he grabbed his keys to the jeep and walked out of the door.

I followed him to find another day of this horrible wet weather. Emmett laughed as I groaned.

"Get use to it Alice, sunshine is rare in this place".

I got into the back of the car next to Rosalie. Edward was riding shotgun.

"You know, a proper gentleman would let a lady sit in the front" I mumbled

"What was that Alice? You have such a small voice" Emmett teased.

I kicked the back of his chair as he started the car. Just then, Esme walked up to the car.

"Forgetting something Emmett?" she asked him.

"Umm no?" he questioned.

"Here's a little clue. What are you planning on eating for lunch?" Esme smiled.

"Food" Emmett replied plainly.

"And how are you going to buy that food?"

"With my lunch money". Me and Edward silently giggled at his stupidity.

"And where is your lunch money?" Esme tried again.

"On the table in the main room... Oh right"

Emmett was about to get out of the car but Esme stopped him and gave him his money.

"Now you kids have a great day at school. Your dad says good luck as well but he had to leave early for work" Esme informed us.

We all said goodbye to her and took off for school.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo x

The day had been OK but I found a few of my lessons boring. I had walked into the lunch cafeteria and got myself some food.

"Alice!"

I turned around to see Emmett waving me over. I walked over to the table he was at and saw a few other people sitting with him along with the rest of my siblings. Edward looked like he just made a friend... A lady friend. I smiled at her and she smiled back. I decided to sit between her and Rosalie and began to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Alice. Did Edward tell you that he was single?"

"Alice!" Edward gasped, clearly embarrassed.

The girl giggled. "My name is Bella. It's nice to meet you and your family"

"So who are you guys?" I asked looking at the people opposite me.

"I'm Mike Newton and this is my girlfriend Jessica" the boy said.

Just as I was about to say something else, Mike seemed to change the subject.

"Well, that's shocking" He said looking behind me.

I followed his eyes which focused on a skinny boy who had just walked through the door. His head was down and walked straight past the food area and sat down on the table in the corner. He folded his arms on the table and rested his head in his arms as if he was trying to get some sleep.

"What is?" I asked.

"Whitlock. He rarely shows up for school, little skiver" Mike replied as he glared at the boy although he didn't notice.

"Yeah, I'm amazed that he hasn't failed any of his classes yet" Jessica commented.

"His dad has got to be cool if he lets his son off school all the time" Emmett grinned.

I just rolled my eyes at him and then Rosalie said "Emmett, a good parent would care about their child's education"

"Whatever" Emmett mumbled.

We continued to eat our lunch and getting to know each other better. Then the bell went so we got up and headed for our next class. I had history so I began to head that way. I took one more glance at that boy in the corner who had just lifted his head up, avoiding eye contact with everyone. I sighed. Who was he? There was something different about him. Why does he seem to hide himself? Why did he seem so tired? What was with the poor attendance and why did he look so thin? Bella walked up to me and saw me looking at him.

"Umm, Alice?"

I looked at her and she looked at the boy and back at me smiling. I knew what she was thinking.

"I'm just curious about him, Ok?" I said innocently.

"Of course you are" she replied sarcastically.

"Alice, I moved here a year ago and since I have known Jasper, he hasn't spoken a word to anyone. Seriously, I don't even know what his voice sounds like".

"Jasper is his name?" I asked.

"Yeah anyway, when he _is _in school, he is my lab partner. But he just completely ignores me. I even suspected that he was deaf at one point, or mute. Even the teachers have given up on asking him questions".

Now I was sure that there was something wrong with this Jasper.

"You have history now, right?" Bella asked. I nodded at her.

"Good, sit next to me, unless you want to prove me wrong about Jasper's antisocial life" she teased.

"Wait, what?" I questioned.

"He is in our class, well when he is present any way. Even when he is in school he always shows up late" Bella said.

"I'll sit with you" I confirmed. Then we walked to our next class

**Do you guys want me to carry on? I like reading stories where Jasper is a suicidal character or lives with abusive people so I thought to try one myself. Please review ! **


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm happier with my reviews now so thank you, and thanks for the advice 'BeautifullyDamagedSimplyMe'. I will correct that mistake right away. Don't hesitate to point out more words that I spell wrong or used it in the wrong term. I appreciate it.**

**By the way, I don't think that I will be going in to detail with the sexual side of Jasper's abuse as most of it is done when he is unconscious but I will with the physical side. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Alice POV**

Me and Bella sat on the table nearest to the middle after the teacher discussed with me what we were studying at the moment. Apparently we are half way through the topic of 'Troy'_. Fun._

"Can I see your schedule?" Bella asked.

"Yeah sure" I answered handing it to her. She scanned through it quickly.

"The only other class I have with you is maths" Bella sighed.

We listened to our history teacher, Mrs Clyde as she discussed what we would be doing today.

"We will be going to be spending the next hour answering the questions on your sheet. You can use your brains or research. You will be working in groups of 3 to 4 so choose quickly" Mrs Clyde instructed.

She started to hand out sheets of paper as a dark head boy walked up to us.

"Hey, can I work with you guys" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. Alice this is Eric, he's a friend of mine" Bella answered.

Eric sat down and scanned through the piece of paper in his hand.

"I can answer the first few questions very well but I think we will need to research the last two unless you guys can answer them" Eric said.

Just then, a familiar face walked through the door.

"Jasper, if you are late to one more of my lessons, you will be making up that time in detention" Mrs Clyde said strictly.

Jasper just walked past her to his table in the back corner by himself and sat down.

"Not today Jasper, you're working in a group" she informed.

When he remained seated, the teacher made the choice for him.

"You can join Bella's group so move over to their table". Mrs Clyde ordered. Jasper glanced at me for half a second before slowly getting up and making his way to our table.

"This is just great" Eric muttered.

As he reached our table he sat down and just looked down at the table while playing with his pen. It was obvious that he didn't want to be here so I decided to help him out.

"Hey Eric? You said that you knew the questions very well apart from the last two so how about you and Bella stay here and answer those while me and Jasper can research the last two". I suggested.

"Like he'll be much help" Eric said as he glanced at Jasper who's eyes still remained on the table.

"We can do that" Bella answered ignoring Eric's comment.

"Come on" I said to Jasper as I got up.

I tapped his shoulder and he flinched. He raised his eyes to mine and he had a rather vulnerable look. I started to walk away and Jasper slowly got up and followed me, probably preferring the idea of being with one person rather that two. Bella and Eric had both looked rather impressed. I sat down at the computer and logged on and then I noticed that Jasper was still standing and that he was tense. I nodded my head to the seat next to me hoping that he would get the message. He looked at me for a few seconds before he slowly moved to sit down although his nervous eyes had never left mine. Was he afraid of me?

"Ok, I'll do the research and you write it down, unless you want to do it the other way round" I said, giving him and option.

I did my best to get him talking but he just grabbed his pen. I sighed. I spent a few minutes researching the information that I needed and I noticed that Jasper was taking quick glances at me.

"Here, write down the first two paragraphs but make it more simple so you don't have to write as much" I told him.

He looked at the screen as if he was memorizing it then he began to write. I noticed that his hands looked rather bony and his knuckles on his right one were all cut up. His handwriting got a little messy as his hands were getting shaky. It was getting worse. Is he always like this? And people just ignored his strange behaviour? Maybe he just has some anxiety disorder or he's autistic. And maybe he was also mute like Bella thought. But surely the teachers would be aware of this, wouldn't they?

"Are you Ok? I can write the rest if you want me to" I asked.

He just carried on writing, pretending that I hadn't even bothered to speak to him. His hands now looked like they were uncontrollable and I started to hear him breath heavily. He let go of the pen, got up and rushed out of the class room. Mrs Clyde looked annoyed but not surprised. I got up, about to follow his footsteps when Mrs Clyde stopped me.

"Don't worry about him Alice, just carry on with your work. You don't want to get yourself into trouble on your first day do you?" she warned.

"But..."

"No buts, I will get a member of staff to speak to him when they next see him so until then, get back to what you were doing" Mrs Clyde ordered.

I sighed and went back to my computer. It was like no one cared about him. I will find out why he is like this and I doubt that anyone but him knows the proper reason. Everyone at school just seems to see him as a freak. Once I finished the questions that I was working on, I walked back to my original table, joining Bella and Eric.

"I knew he wouldn't last long" Eric said.

"Is he always that way?" I asked.

"No, only when he is forced to work with people. I don't understand why teachers still bother putting him in groups if he always ends up leaving without permission" Bella sighed.

"Not a people person huh" I said.

"I did warn you" Bella pointed out.

"Alright class, the hour is up so put your work away and we will discuss your answers next lesson" Mrs Clyde announced.

We packed up our things and headed out.

**Jasper POV **

I ran out of the school building, not caring about the stupid punishments they would give me. It's nothing compared to what my father does to me. It has been a long time since anyone has bothered to speak to me but she's new anyway. By tomorrow she will just ignore me like everyone else. Good. I don't want anyone near me. I am too disgusted with myself and how I'm living. If anyone knew how weak I was and how my body is used, they would be disgusted too. In fact, they would be too sick to even look at me. I'm a messed up freak. My father destroyed me. He made me the nervous wreck that I am today. At least he made me realise that if my own father can act that way, then anybody can, no matter how innocent they look. _How innocent she looked_.

I reached home and tried to open the door as quietly as possible, hoping that he wouldn't notice, but of course, I'm never a lucky person.

"What are you doing home so early. I let you go to school today and then you come home at the wrong time! I am getting annoyed with the phone calls I get from your teachers telling me about this ridiculous behaviour!" He yelled.

I started to feel my body shake and he notices. He starts to laugh.

"I can't believe how pathetic you are. Look at yourself, you coward!"

He takes a step closer to me and I take a step back.

"Did I tell you to move away from me?"

He grabs the collar of my shirt and pushes his face against mine

"Did I!?" He yelled louder this time.

"I...I..I'm" I started

"You're what? Sorry?"

He crashed my head to the nearest wall and I whimpered. He does this to me too often but it still scares me. Noticing, the pain he's putting me through, he does it again and again, repeating this action until my head starts to bleed. He then throws me to the floor and kicks me in the ribs a few times until I can't move.

"Pathetic" He spat at me.

He dragged me up the stairs by my collar and dumps me in my room and as I fall to the floor, I feel glass cut into my skin on the right side of my body remembering the mirror I punched this morning. I just lay in a foetal position.

"Get that mess cleaned up you worthless piece of shit, and don't expect me to feed you anytime soon either".

He kicked me one last time before slamming my bedroom door shut. I remained where I was as tears started to form in my eyes.

Welcome, to my life.

**You know what to do! REVIEW! They make me so happy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys again. I am really into writing this story and I think that it will also be longer than my other story, hopefully it would beat the amount of reviews that I got on it to (hint,hint). Any way this is the longest chapter that I have written in fan fiction history (i know it isn't that long but still...) enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight **

**Alice POV**

"Hi mum, Hi dad!" I yelled as I walked into the house.

"Hi sweetie, how was your first day?" Esme asked.

I sighed a little. "It was Ok"

"But?" Esme pushed. She could always tell that I wasn't telling her something.

"But nothing, I just need to get use to these people. They're not much like the ones back in our old school" _Definitely not Jasper anyway._ I chose to not tell her about him. I hardly knew anything about him myself. Emmett came through the door with Rose.

"S'up mum, what's for dinner?" he asked. Rosalie rolled her eyes at him.

"Typical" she muttered.

Esme smiled at him. "Spaghetti bolognaise if you're Ok with that".

"As long as it's edible, he'll eat it" Edward teased as he walked through the door. "Is dad still working?" he questioned.

"Yes, he won't be home for another hour, why?" Esme asked.

"No reason" Edward replied plainly as he wondered off to his room.

I went upstairs to go to my room while Esme questioned Emmett and Rose about their first day of school. I sat at my desk and turned on my laptop to begin my homework that I had got in biology. My first day of school and I was already given homework. Well, I suppose it was more of a catch up really so that I understood more on what we were currently studying. I spent an hour and a half typing until I had finished so I had printed off my work and put it into my school folder, safe for my next bio class. I was left with nothing else to do so I grabbed a notepad out of my drawer and decided to draw, which is what I love to do in my spare time. Already, my hands were in control and I started to sketch without my mind even thinking. I took note of the eyes that I started off with, shading them with my pen so that they were blue. _His blue eyes. _I drew the hair in extra detail so that it looked long and curly. _His golden locks._ I finished off the face with his lips in a shape of a smile. _Something I wish for him to do. _I look back at the drawing. _At him._ My first day at school and I already felt the need to know him. Jasper. I smiled. I _will_ know him. I _will _get him to talk to me gradually and I _will_ help him through with whatever is doing this to him. I just have to be patient and make him trust me. I just need to be the friend that nobody will be for him. Tomorrow at school, I will have a word with him, hoping that he will say at least something. And hopefully, he won't have a nervous breakdown like he did today. _Hopefully._

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox o_

I open my eyes to my alarm clock, realising that I had slept at my desk and now it was another new day. I got up and turned off my alarm and then brushed my hair in front of my mirror. I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I yelled and Edward walked through the door.

"Morning Alice" he said.

"Morning, what did you come in here for? because it definitely wasn't just to say morning" I replied.

Edward smiled. "Umm... Don't laugh Ok, but considering that I only met her yesterday..."

"You want me to see if Bella likes you despite the fact that you're in most of her classes but you are too shy to ask her yourself" I interrupted.

Edward stood there a little speechless and I smiled. "I knew you liked her" I smirked.

"Please Alice" he begged.

"Look Edward, a girl likes a guy with confidence. You have already become her friend so grow to be her best friend and then gradually she'll realise that she likes you more than 'just a friend' and that's when you ask her out. It just takes time" I advised.

"I suppose you're right" he admitted.

"I'm always right" I smiled. Edward spotted something and walked towards my desk.

"I guess I'm not the only one with a crush" He said with a grin as he picked up the notepad open on the drawing that I drew yesterday.

"I haven't got a crush on him Edward, I just drew him" I said innocently.

"Of course you did Alice because you always draw pictures of random guys" he replied sarcastically. "But I do have to admit, it's a pretty good drawing although I don't remember seeing him smile" he frowned.

I grabbed my notepad from him and put it back in my drawer and Edward chuckled.

"Any way, mum told me to tell you that breakfast is ready" He informed and was about to walk out of the door and then he stopped. "Oh and Alice? It's probably not a good idea to start crushing on silent dudes who prefer to be left alone" he joked.

Once he left the room, I got changed and then headed down the stairs.

"Morning Alice, were you alright yesterday? I came in your room last night to let you know that dinner was ready and you were sleeping" Carlisle questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The homework made me a little tired" I replied.

"Yeah, homework and daydreaming about certain people" Edward smirked.

He was not going to bring _him_ up. I kicked him under the table and glared at him and he continued to smile.

"You know what Edward. Maybe I_ should_ talk to Bella about you. The bad stuff that is." I was now the one smiling.

"I knew it! Eddie loves Bella" Emmett screamed and I laughed.

"No shit Sherlock, he made it clear enough yesterday by the way he was gawking at her" Rosalie commented.

I ate up my cereal and once we were all finished and ready for our second day, we headed for school.

I had history class again today and although I tried to concentrate on my work, all my focus was on the door waiting for Jasper to walk through. Even when the lesson was almost over, I hoped that he was just majorly late but he never showed up.

The second day was the same. I didn't have history today but he wasn't in the cafeteria when I walked in and I wasn't sure what other classes me and him shared but I knew that he wasn't present today.

The third day? It was the same. No Jasper. I walked into the cafeteria and made myself a salad. I walked to our usual table and sat next to Bella.

"Hey Bella? How often _does _he show up for school? I asked her. She knew exactly who I was talking about.

"It depends really. Sometimes he's in for a few days, other times it's just a day or two but when he doesn't show up, that's when you know that you're not going to see him again for another few weeks" Bella replied.

"That bad? When I was told he rarely showed up, I didn't realise they meant it literally" I gasped.

"Neither did I at first, but then I saw it for myself" Bella admitted.

I just sighed. Where was he?

**Jasper POV **

I was sitting in the corner of my room with my arms around my legs, chin rest on my knees. My ribs were in so much pain and they had been for the past three days. They were badly bruised when I last checked. What part of my body isn't bruised? My father hadn't laid a finger on me since my last beating but that's because I have locked myself in here, afraid that if I come out, he'll knock me out. And that's the last thing I want as I won't be awake to stop him doing what he wants to me. At least he didn't _use_ my body when he last punished me. That was probably because I forced myself to stay awake.

I heard the front door slam and I got up to look through my bedroom window. I saw my father take off in his car. This was my chance. I don't know how long he would be gone but I had to eat. The only thing he does feed me is whatever is left on his plate and he hasn't even given me that since the other day. I'm surprised I haven't starved to death yet. Scrap that, my father wouldn't let that happen. He would keep me alive just so that I would suffer. _And so that I could be his toy._ I shivered at the thought.

I opened the door and ran down the stairs_. _Once I reached the kitchen, I searched through the cupboards. Nothing but tinned vegetables. Like that would fill me up. I walked into the living room and found some left over chips that my father had bought earlier. Only the crispy ones remained but he doesn't like those ones so I scoffed them down. I was still so hungry but it was a feeling I got used to. I wasn't sure how much time I had left until my father returned but I decided to risk it and take a quick shower. I started the water and rinsed my body. I was in so much agony that I was struggling to stand. I rubbed my torso area gently remembering the glass cutting into my right side. I was extra careful with my ribs and I hissed once the flannel made contact with my left side. That area looked bad. I hoped I hadn't damaged any of them. Why does he do this to me? I dried myself off and examined my head in the mirror. My father said that I am not allowed to go back to school until my injuries fully heal just in case they get curious. Like they're not curious about my attendance. I couldn't let anyone find out anyway. What would they think of me? My left eye brow looked a little cut up and there was a gash a little further up but my hair could easily cover that up.

I heard a car pull up. He's back. I rushed to put my clothes on, forgetting about the pain until my elbow knocked my ribs. I cried out and fell to the floor, holding my ribs as if would take the pain away. Now he is opening the front door and I slowly move to get up and run to my bedroom, into the corner back into my previous position. I was breathing heavily and I felt my body start to shake again. It satisfies my father when he sees me like that. It makes him feel powerful. I hear movement downstairs for about a minute and then I heard him come up the stairs. Not good. He opens my bedroom door with force and I flinch.

"Did you come out of this room while I was gone?" he asked dangerously.

I took deep breaths but my pained ribs weren't helping me with that. I tried to speak but I couldn't.

"Answer me boy" he demanded.

I opened my mouth but all that came out was a whimper. He bent down, grabbed my collar and forced me to stand up.

"I don't remember finishing off my chips and you're the only other one in the house. Your hair is also wet so not only did you eat without my permission, but you also waste my water to shower even though I told you days ago to stay in this room and not come out!" He screamed with his voice getting louder at each word.

"I..I'm s..sorry" I whispered

"No you're not!" He yelled angrily and pushed me back into the corner and I bang my head hard on the way down.

"You're always disobeying my orders and that's exactly why you look like that. You turned me into this Jasper. It's because of you why your mum left me. It's because of you why my life is hell. If you just disappeared, I would be a free man. I wouldn't need to look down on a disgusting son like yourself. I can't even call you my son. You ruin the lives of everyone you get involved with. Mine especially. And that's exactly why I hate you Jasper. No one would ever love you". His word hurt although I knew they were true.

I continued to shake and he picked me up once more and dragged me to his room. No. I struggled against him even though I knew that he was stronger.

"No..pl...please" I begged.

He held my wrists tightly and pushed me back against his chest as he tied up my wrists and put them behind the bed post. Tears started to form in my eyes, he rarely did this while I was fully conscious. The only time he did do it like this was if I had really pissed him of so that he could make me suffer and feel dirty. He started to take off my trousers and I panicked. I can't let him do this to me again. I don't know what came over me but as soon as he reached to remove my pants, I kicked him in the face with as much as power as I could. _I am so dead._

The force was enough to knock him on the ground and he was holding his nose. I lifted my body a little so that I could raise my wrists over the bed posts. Just as I managed to set myself free, my father grabbed my foot, tripping me over. I was in too much pain. I kicked him in the face again and forced myself to get up. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, almost falling down again. I went into the kitchen and stretched my fingers out so I could grab a knife to cut the rope that was still holding my wrists together. It was too difficult to cut as I couldn't get it at the right angle so I stopped as another idea came into my head. I rushed into the main room and found my father's lighter on the table. I lit it and tried to get it as close to the rope as possible. My wrists felt so hot but I couldn't give up because I heard my father get up. Just a little more... I managed to burn the rope and now my wrists were free. I opened the front door and ran outside as fast as I could, forcing my ribs to take the pain of the hard breathing. Behind me I heard my father scream.

"You coward! Come back here! There's nowhere else to go. Nobody wants you!"

I know.

That's why I'm going to do it.

Even when I felt like I couldn't breath no more, I continued to run. Breathing wasn't important anymore. _Just a little further. _I ran on, knowing that I had reached my destination. _To a place far from him._ I could see the seas ahead of me. I was still running, I wasn't going to stop. I wasn't even going to think about it. I was just going to do it.

_Better of dead._ I will be in no more pain

_Nobody wants you _I won't be a trouble to anybody else. They won't even notice that I'm gone.

Keep running

_Nobody will ever love you_ Tears fall from my eyes as I hear my father speak nothing but the truth. I get close enough to see how high up I was. Then a smile formed.

_Better off dead_

I jump

**Yet again, I'm trying to beat my last story with the amount of reviews and I really would appreciate them. I also don't mind people giving me advice because it really does help me out... !**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another one of my longer chapter's, I hope that you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or its characters.**

**Alice POV**

Tomorrow was the last day until the weekend but that didn't cheer me up. The same thing had remained on my mind since the first day of school. Who was he? I know that his name is Jasper but that's not quite what I meant. I want to see him again but I have this strange feeling that I wouldn't. I was currently sitting at the table with my family, playing with my food. I didn't even notice it until Esme spoke to me.

"Are you sure that you're Ok sweetie. You haven't seemed yourself lately. Has something happened at school?" Esme asked.

I wanted to answer her truthfully and say that actually it was what _wasn't_ going on at school. Because technically it wasn't. He hadn't showed up for school for 3 days and it only made me more curious. With anyone else, I would think that the three days absent was due to sickness but even Bella said that he has a few weeks off before showing up again.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just...Can I go get some fresh air please?" I asked.

"Sure honey, if it will make you feel better" She replied so I excused myself from the table.

I grabbed my coat and my mobile and then headed out of the front door and went to wherever my legs would take me. I started walking in the forest that wasn't far from our house. It wasn't really a good idea walking here as I don't know this place very well, meaning I could easily get myself lost. Hopefully, I wouldn't but then again, I wouldn't mind being in the same situation as my thoughts.

My mind switched back to Jasper. Maybe if I found out where he lives, I could ask if he is Ok but I guess it would seem rather stalkerish asking people back at school if they knew where his home was. I sighed and continued to walk. I forced my mind to think of other things like how I was going to help Edward and Bella get together or when I was planning my next shopping trip and who was coming with me. I was starting to get a headache so I went towards a big rock that I just saw but then I noticed that the forest was coming to an end and it was opening up on to a beach. I smiled at the fact that I didn't quite expect to end up here. I chose to walk around the beach, my feet sinking into the sand. Most of it was wet because the tide had gone out. The sea was quite a distance away but it was still a beautiful sight. I found a rocky area and sat in that area, enjoying the view.

I spent the next 20 minutes sitting there thinking about many random things, hoping to clear my mind. I didn't want to be out here for too long because my parents will worry so I was about to get up when something caught my attention. I saw movement on a cliff further up which was still in an area where the sea was still deep. I focused more on the movement and that's when I realised that it was a person running. Not just running anywhere though, the person was running towards the edge of the cliff and they weren't stopping. I stood up, worried, hoping that I was just seeing things and then the person reached the edged and then jumped.

"No!" I yelled.

The cliff looked very high up so I knew that this wasn't some game. Without giving it a second thought, I ran out towards the sea taking off my coat and shoes. It was quite difficult running as the wet sand kept sucking my feet in. Once I reached the water, I swam for it, not caring about the freezing cold water that just hit my skin. This person was crazy.

Once that I was sure that I was far enough, I dived under and stretched my hands out, moving them around to feel out the figure that jumped not so long ago but I felt nothing. I came up to the surface and gasped for air looking around, wishing to see that the other person was up for air too but I saw no one. I went back under again, but this time, I opened my eyes. They felt a little irritated and my vision was blurry but not blurry enough to miss a dark figure. I kicked my legs and forced myself down deeper, stretching my arms out as far as I could and I thankfully got a hold of the shirt that the jumper owned. I pulled the person up to the surface and I gasped for air again. Unfortunately, I only heard myself breathing which wasn't good at all. I kicked my legs towards the sand, pulling the figure with me.

Once I got there, I laid the almost weightless figure on the sand. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be him. Out of all people, why was it him that chose to do something so careless. Right there in front of me was a lifeless form of Jasper. Why did he just do that? His wet shirt really showed the pattern of his ribs sticking out a lot more than they should be. I also noticed that he wasn't wearing any trousers or shoes. I panicked and searched for a pulse but there was nothing.

"Oh no, don't do this" I whispered. I started to perform CPR, putting my hands at the centre of his chest and began to press down with all strength, hoping that he would choke up any water that had drowned him. It made me a little nervous putting my weight on such a skinny figure, it made him look so fragile. I continued doing this for a few minutes but no pulse came back up. I left him to run to my phone, scanning through all my contacts until I found my dad's name. I rung him and he answered on the third ring.

"Alice, I was about to call you, you should be coming back as it will be dark soon" He warned.

"Dad, I need your help" I said in a panicked tone as I was walking back to Jasper with my coat and shoes in my hand.

"What's wrong" He said sounding a little worried.

"I'm with someone, he's not breathing. He was drowning and I swam to get him but I can't find a pulse" I felt like I was about to cry.

"Alright Alice, keep calm. I'll be there as soon as I can. Call an ambulance and stay with him. Do you remember how to perform CPR" he asked.

"Yeah I have tried, I'll do it again, I have got to go but hurry" I said and I hang up.

I kneeled by Jasper and started to perform CPR again but this time I also tried mouth to mouth resuscitation. I pumped his chest 30 times and then pinched his nose and gave him two rescue breaths. I continued this for about 5 minutes.

"Come on Jasper, I hardly even got to know you!" I pleaded.

I pressed my mouth against his again to breath into him, wishing that I would hear him breath back. Wish granted. I heard a choked cough and I pulled back to see him coughing up the water.

"Oh, thank god"

As soon as he heard my voice, his eyes shot open and he tried to back away from me but he was too weak. I noticed his body shaking but I wasn't sure if he was having another panic attack or if he was just really cold. Probably both. I passed him my coat and he had a frightened expression in his eyes as I neared him.

"If you take your shirt of and wrap this around you, you will warm quicker. Your wet clothing will freeze you" I informed.

He clearly didn't like the idea as he started breathing really hard and he dragged himself back.

"Hey, it's Ok if you don't like the idea. You can keep it on but use my coat anyway, you need you warm up" I insisted.

I put my coat nearer to him and he looked at it and then looked back up to me with curiosity and fear in his eyes. He started to push himself away again making sure that we kept our distance. He then carefully brought himself onto his knees and then onto his feet, slowly backing away with his eyes on me like I was a dangerous animal.

"Jasper, that's not a good idea, you might need to go to the hospital and you look hurt. Stay here, my dad will be here any minute now" I said regretfully as his eyes widened and he turned around to run.

Well, at least he tried to run. He easily stumbled over and I walked close to him. I couldn't leave him like this.

"Jasper please, I'm worried about you" I begged.

He looked at me confused but then just seemed to shake it off as he slowly got on his feet again and walked off. He was going to ignore me.

"Do you really expect me to just let you walk away after seeing you try to kill yourself?" I blurted out.

He stopped dead in his tracks and I walked a little closer to him but he noticed and turned around slowly backing away again until he was happy with the distance between us.

"Why?" he whispered. His voice sounded so needy. At least I knew he wasn't mute. He _can_ speak.

"Why what?" I questioned confused. I should be the one asking him questions like what made him do what he did although I knew that he wouldn't tell me the answer to that.

"Why did you go in after me" He asked so quietly that I almost missed it.

"Well who wouldn't after seeing someone jump like that?" I asked rhetorically. Well it was _suppose_ to be a rhetorical question but he answered anyway.

"Everyone once they knew who the jumper was" he mumbled.

Wow. He must really feel hated right now. Who would make him feel this way?

"Jasper, do you have any idea how I felt when I realized it was you?" I asked. Hopefully he would realise that I care.

"You felt nothing. You don't know me and you don't want to either. Please just walk away" he pleaded in a whisper.

"No, if I walk away, I know that I won't see you again" I said firmly.

"It's better off that way" he said sadly and then continued to walk. I couldn't believe he just said that. He pretty much confirmed what I thought. That he would do it again.

"Jasper wait" I yelled.

He stopped and turned.

"You're not going to give up are you" he muttered.

"No" I replied stubbornly.

"Please, whatever it was that made you feel like you needed to do that, we'll help you through it" I begged.

"I don't need your help, I don't need anybody's help" he said loud enough for me to hear.

"Yes you do. You can just give up on life" I said "Please Jasper, give yourself another chance"

He said nothing.

"Maybe I can convince my dad that you don't need to go to the hospital. He's a doctor, he'll just take a look at you"

He still said nothing.

"You don't want me to tell him about the suicide thing, do you?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me desperately in the eyes and I found my answer. I sighed at him and thought this through.

"If you let my dad take a look at you, and you promise me to give yourself a second chance, then I won't tell him" I negotiated. I hate lying to people, especially family but if it means saving this poor soul, I would do it.

He continued to remain silent.

"We'll say that you went too far out in the sea and you started to drown so I got you out" I continued.

"It's not just that" he said and I looked up at him again.

"I can't let anybody touch me" he whispered. He sounded so broken and I just wanted to understand what was going on in his life.

"My dad is a very gentle person Jasper, he has been in situations where he has treated nervous people like yourself. If he thinks that he is going too far he'll stop"

He looked like he was considering it but there was something else pulling him back.

"Please" I begged.

I heard my dad's car pull up and going by the way Jasper was tensing, he heard it too.

"Promise me you won't tell him" he pleaded.

Now I was getting somewhere.

"Then promise me that you won't do it again" I said.

"I promise" he whispered.

I smiled at him

"Come on" I said as I walked towards my dad's car who was just getting out.

**I hope you guys liked this one, please review. You know compliments, advice, the usual stuff**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey people,another chapter but I just want to start by saying that I am not sure how long this story is going to be but I **_**am**_** sure that I am far from ending it. It will be longer than my last story which was 24k words but that is all I know. Happy reading! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

When I got that phone call from Alice, it worried me because it had sounded like she was in trouble although after she explained the situation she was in, I found out that she was actually trying to save somebody _else_ in trouble. I bought with me a blanket just in case we managed to revive him before the ambulance had got there and headed off, doing my best to get there as soon as possible within the legal speed limit. Once I reached the beach, I got out of the car to look for Alice but then I saw her walking up to me.

"Hey dad, everything is alright now. He is conscious and breathing" she said cheerfully. I was proud to know that my daughter had saved a life but I didn't see any person nearby.

"You didn't let him go did you? That could be dangerous for him. He would probably need to go to the hospital and there's an ambulance coming out for him..."

"No, dad it's fine. I got him to sit down on the rocks because he was rather weak but about the hospital thing, the idea had freaked him out. I forgot to ring for an ambulance when he was unconscious but when I had revived him, he tried to make a run for it because I mentioned the hospital so I was hoping that you could look at him" Alice explained.

I wasn't surprised at hating the idea of going to the hospital. This wasn't knew to me as there are so many people that refuse to go.

"Alice, this could be dangerous for him, he needs proper medical attention. I know that I'm a doctor but it doesn't work like that. Proper medical equipment is in hospitals". I tried to get her to understand.

"Please dad, you will know what you're doing besides, you have no idea how much convincing it took for him to allow just a single person to see him. To be honest dad, I think he's afraid of people" she informed.

I sighed at her. I knew that if this was the case, he would need to be carefully dealt with. I had been similar situations with other people but I managed to keep them calm. People like him would hate all the nurses and doctors hanging around poking needles into him.

"Show me where he is and I will see what I can do" I gave in. She smiled and led me forward.

"Oh and do you think that I should get Edward to bring down some of his spear clothes. His shirt is still wet and he wasn't wearing any trousers when I got there. Plus, he looks about Edward's height" she explained.

"Yes, that's a good idea" I agreed.

"Great, I'll call him. There he is" She pointed to a blond boy sitting on the rocks."One more thing, his name is Jasper. I'll doubt he would've told you that". She smiled and grabbed to her phone.

As I walked up to Jasper, I found that he was younger than I had expected and the wet shirt had made it clear that he was unnaturally thin. When he noticed me, he started breathing heavily and lowered his head. I didn't like the idea of making him uncomfortable so I crouched down to make myself look smaller and gave him a small smile.

"Hello Jasper, I'm Dr Cullen. I heard that you had some trouble in the sea" I said calmly, hoping that he would copy my emotions. He didn't move or speak.

"How are you feeling? Do you hurt anywhere?" I asked but he remained silent.

"You look very cold Jasper, would you like to come back with us and I'll get you warmed up?" I questioned waiting patiently for him to answer.

He lifted his eyes up but instead of looking at me, I realised that his eyes were on Alice who was further back, on the phone to Edward. He wasn't look away from her. It was clear that he was waiting for her to come back so that she could speak for him.

"Jasper?"

I needed him to focus on me. His eyes looked at mine with a hint of sadness and then I knew that this wasn't your average teenager.

"Don't make me go to the hospital" he whispered desperately. The emotion in his voice copied the emotion in his eyes.

"I just need to look you over. I can't let you go home without being sure that you're safe" I explained to him.

"What will you do?" he asked curiously.

"I will need to take a blood test to see if the drowning has damaged any of your organs. I will also need to check your pulse, blood pressure and clean up that injury on your head. But in order to do this without going to the hospital, I will need you to come back with us as that is where my main equipment is" I answered.

He seemed to think about this and then hesitantly nodded slightly and then his eyes went back to Alice who was walking back towards us.

"Alice, change of plan. Tell Edward to stay at home but be ready to come out to pass the clothes when we get back" I instructed and she nodded, smiling at Jasper, then she pulled her phone back out.

"Are you Ok to walk to the car? Alice said that you look tired out" I asked him.

"I'm fine" he mumbled.

I headed for my car keeping a close eye on Jasper who was walking far behind me but was making sure that we kept a far distance between each other. Once we reached the car, I opened the door for him and as he got in, he kept his eyes warily at me. I noticed how careful he was being when he got into the car. He seemed to be struggling to sit in a descent position. Was he hurt also?

"Are you in any pain Jasper?" I asked curiously and he shook his head at me forcefully.

Being a doctor, it was clear for me to tell when somebody was in pain no matter how good they were at hiding it. I wasn't sure why he wouldn't tell me but I will get to the bottom of it. He was shivering violently so I went to the boot of my car and took out the blanket that I had bought with me and handed it to him but he just looked at it.

"It's to warm you up, that water has frozen you" I explained.

He continued to look at it, and then at me as if he was expecting it to be some sort of trick. It seemed like he wasn't use to this sort of gesture but he slowly took it anyway and wrapped it around him. Alice sat in the front seat and turned to Jasper.

"Are you sure that you're Ok?" Alice double checked and he just nodded. I got in the car, started the engine and headed home.

Once that we were back, Edward handed Alice some of his clothes and then he glanced at Jasper who was still sitting in the back seat. He smiled back at Alice and she rolled her eyes at him. She passed Jasper the clothes. He put on the trousers but he didn't change into the spare shirt. Part of me thought that he was just self conscious about his body but a bigger part of me felt that there was something more to his continuous strange behaviour. Me and Alice walked him straight into the house and I took him up to my study so that none of my children would make him nervous. Esme kept the teens occupied other than Alice who insisted to stay with Jasper. She was actually a big help as he seemed to gain enough confidence to speak and answer my questions when he looks at her. I got Jasper sat down and I went through my medical bag and got out the equipment that I needed. I checked his blood pressure and his pulse which were both high and fast but I chose to wait before I give him a blood test because he was still looking very nervous.

"Jasper, we need to get you out of that shirt now because the colder you are, the higher your blood pressure and we need to lower it"

"Can I use the bathroom?" he asked quietly. Every time that he spoke, he was making it more obvious that he was trying to hold back the pain.

"Of course" I showed him the way to the bathroom and he went in there with the spare shirt.

I waited by the door just in case anything bad happens, especially in his condition. He had been in there for a few minutes which was longer than necessary to change a shirt.

"Jasper? Are you Ok in there? I asked worried. Just then I heard a thud on the floor.

"Jasper?" I asked through the door, waiting for a reply. I could hear him breathing hard and then he started coughing.

"I'm coming in" I warned.

As I pushed the door open I could tell that there was something in the way. Or some_one_ in the way. I squeezed my head in and saw Jasper leaning against the door, shaking violently, coughing and struggling for breath.

"Dad, what's going on?" I heard Alice ask as she walked up behind me.

I put my hand through the door and gently shifted Jasper so that I could open the door fully. Once the door was open, Jasper started wrapping his arms around his ribs.

"Alice get me the scissors from my medical bag" I instructed and she nodded.

I sat besides Jasper as he continued to cough more often and then I saw blood fall from his mouth. He was coughing up blood! This made matters worse, especially because it wasn't helping him breath. Alice came back with the scissors and I laid Jasper down while she lifted his head onto her lap. I cut open his wet shirt which he still hadn't changed, to get a look at his ribs but I was horrified at what I saw next.

His top half was covered in cuts and his ribs were so bruised that it was hard to find his actual skin colour in that area. His ribs even showed at the top of his chest because he was so dangerously thin. The poor boy had been neglected. And as much as I hated the idea, I had to get him to the hospital. The cuts needed stitching and his ribs needed scanning although it was already clear that they were broken and there was no doubt about it that he would be questioned about how he got these injuries. All of a sudden, he just stopped breathing and went limp.

"I'll go call for an ambulance" Alice panicked and ran off but I didn't miss the painful expression that was on the face when she left at the sight of Jasper, topless in front of her.

**Jasper POV **

Pain. So much pain. I just want somebody to kill me already. I opened my eyes carefully, the bright light giving me a headache. I was in a white room and I heard some sort of beeping sound. At that, I shot straight up and panicked once I realised where I was. Those liars! I knew that I shouldn't have trusted them and now they know. I am going to have to come up with a good story to explain my ribs and cuts and other bruises. I went to pull the IV tube out of my wrist when I heard a familiar voice.

"That's not a good idea" Carlisle said.

I glared at him.

"You stopped breathing Jasper, I had no choice. You have to be here if you are going to recover. Your ribs had looked very damaged so we scanned them to find that you had in fact fractured 3 of your ribs" he explained.

I didn't need to be here. Last time, my ribs recovered by itself.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked.

I remained quiet. I need to think this through carefully so it would all make sense and they would believe me.

"You know that you can tell me anything, right?" He said calmly. Wrong. I don't trust him and I am not telling him anything about me. Besides, he wouldn't care. It's all a trick.

"Today I came across a group of teens and they used me as their punching bag. I didn't want to go to the hospital so I just ignored it. I went out for some fresh air down to the beach and went for a swim but the pain came back in my ribs and I was too far out at sea and I started drowning. Then Alice found me" I lied. It sounded like a good enough story but Carlisle didn't look too convinced.

"What about your weight?" He thought.

"I'm not much of an eater" I replied. Technically I was telling the truth, I hardly ever get given anything to eat. Carlisle sighed at me and it was clear that he wasn't falling for my story.

"I know that you're hiding something Jasper. There is more to it. When we looked at your ribs, the scan showed a previous break from where it hadn't fully healed and how can you explain your older injuries. I can tell that this has happened before and your skittish behaviour..."

"What are you suggesting" I interrupted.

_Please don't say it, please don't say it_

"That you're being abused"

**There we go, end of another chapter. Carlisle has it figured but will Jasper admit it**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again guys. I'm sorry to say that my daily updates will be coming to an end as I will be busy at the weekend and then I start sixth form which means a lot of after school work but I promise that I will do my best to update as much as possible. This chapter is a little shorter than I wanted it to be but yet again, I got busy but I wanted to update again for you guys. I will TRY to update again on Monday. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper POV**

I couldn't believe that he managed to figure it out so quickly. Well, half of it anyway. It was just a trick. He is trying to make it look like he cares and once I start to trust him, he'll be like my father. I wasn't going to risk it.

"No, you're wrong" I stated firmly.

"Jasper, we can help you" he kept his voice calm.

"I said you're wrong" I replied louder.

He looked at me with a pleading expression, waiting for me to spill it but I wasn't going to.

"Look, I told you I got badly beat up buy a bunch of guys and I don't eat much. The scars are just me accidentally getting hurt all of the time and I'm not a people person. I'm sorry if it coincidentally adds up to abuse. My father is a good person". I have just told the biggest lie ever and he still didn't seem too convinced. Clever man but I hate him for it. Why can't he just leave me alone?

"What about your mother? He questioned. Now I was getting annoyed. This wasn't any of his business.

"She left" I said plainly and he just nodded.

"I also noticed that there were markings on your wrists and it was clear to me that they were self inflicted. What made you do that?" He asked concerned.

"You're expecting me to say that I'm living a horrible life of abuse and feel hated for it therefore I feel the need to cut myself" _The exact truth_ "But actually, like I said, my mum left and I went through a depression stage" I felt like a complete dick using my mother to lie my way out of this but it sounded like a good enough excuse.

"And you're still going through that depressing stage? A few of those marks look very recent Jasper" He said concerned. I looked away and ignored him.

"Does your father know about this?" he asked curiously.

I felt like laughing out loud. Of course he knew about it. The amount of times I woke up, tied up naked to the bed was all too often. It was obvious that he had seen them. He told me that I was weaker than he thought I was and it even pleasured the sick bastard when he knew how much he was affecting me.

"Yes, he knows and he's doing the best to help me through it. I swear on my life, he isn't the kind of man that you think he is" _He's a lot worse_. I didn't even care about the life that I just swore on. It wasn't worth anything. He sighed at me

"To be honest with you Jasper, I am not fully convinced about this but unless you tell me something, there isn't much that I can do. But what I can do is give you this". He pulled out a business card out of his pocket and handed it to me. It had his phone number on it.

"If you ever have any trouble or just need to talk, I want you to call me and we'll sort out whatever is troubling you" he promised

I accepted the card but I would only end up dumping it in the bin. I didn't need him. At least he only suspected physical abuse.

"When can I go home?" I asked. Home didn't sound to comforting but I really can't stand this place and the people pretending to help.

"We want to keep you here over night to check on your breathing. We also need to make a record of your weight so that we could keep an eye on that too. I'll need to inform your father this so he knows where you are and to keep an eye on you too but we don't have his number as we were never given your full name to view your details" he explained.

Great, he wants my full name. I didn't want to give it to him but I didn't want to make him anymore suspicious than he already was.

"Whitlock" I mumbled.

"Ok, do you want him to visit" he asked.

Now he was testing me. I couldn't say yes because if he came here, it would make me nervous and I would freak out which would make things clearly obvious to Carlisle. I went for the safer option to me.

"No. I don't want him to worry, he has been extremely busy" I lied lamely.

Carlisle gave me a sympathetic look and walked off.

Moments later, Alice walked in and sat next to me.

"I swear if this is going to be another interview, I will have to break the promise about the no suicide thing" I warned her.

"I can't even ask how you are?" She asks innocently.

"That was a question" I pointed out.

"At least you're more responsive now" she stated.

"That doesn't mean that I would rather talk because actually I prefer the idea of everybody ignoring me like they usually do" I said.

"And look where that got you" she replied.

"Look, I didn't do it because I was invisible to everyone, people ignoring me was the only thing keeping me sane" I explained.

"So why did you?"

I looked away from her. I knew that she was going to ask me that at some point. She'll probably blackmail me and say that if I don't tell her, she will tell everyone that I'm a mental case that failed at suicide. Once she realised that I wasn't going to answer her, she asked me another question.

"What happened to you?" She asked sadly. Sad that she wasted her time saving me with no doubt.

"Seriously, I can't stand the questions. Look, I don't want you here Ok. _I _don't even want to be here so unless you're going to sneak me out of here...goodbye" I turned away from her and went into silent mode like I am 95% of the time.

"I will go because you want me to, BUT... That doesn't mean that I am giving up on you Jasper Whitlock" she warned and then she walked out. I sighed at myself. I hate my life so much.

**Alice POV**

I couldn't get that image out of my head. The one of Jasper lying on the floor bony, bruised and beaten. It looked like he had been tortured. Now I was 100% sure that he was hiding something. First he has a nervous breakdown at the presence of people, his attendance is terrible, he is almost mute, then he tries to kill himself and then we find his body neglected and beaten. Now if anyone thinks that is normal, then they are crazy. I wanted to ask him so many questions and let him know that he can trust me but he didn't want to see me. Although, if he thinks that he can just ignore me and pretend that nothing ever happened today, he is wrong. I am not giving up on him, especially because saving him made me feel involved in his life now. I don't care what people think of him. I will make sure that I will become the friend that he has never had and that's a promise.

**Yet again, sorry about the short chapter, I kinda felt bad but it's better than nothing right?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi people. Thank you for the continuing reviews and for that, here's another update. It's another shorter one but it is longer than my previous one. Also, I'm starting sixth form tomorrow so my main focus will be that but I will probably start updating once a week at the weekend. So until then, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**Jasper POV**

I got sent home on a Saturday. Carlisle insisted that he would drive me home so I made sure that I was sitting in the back seat, far from him just in case he wanted to touch me or got angry and hit me. When we reached my house he followed me out of the car to the door. I started to feel a little nervous. What if Carlisle and my father team up with each other and punish me in the harshest ways? What if Carlisle is worse than my father? I shuddered at the thought. Is it even possible to be worse than him? Before we could even knock, my father opened the door, eyeing me in disgust and then he looked at Carlisle top to bottom.

"Cheers for bringing him home" my father said with a smile. It's never a good thing when he smiles. It usually means he has something sick and twisted planned.

"I'd like to know that he got home safe" Carlisle said firmly, giving my father a look of hatred. I went into the house before I would have a nervous breakdown and then heard my father close the door. Before I could escape to my room, my father pulled me back shoving a cloth over my nose and mouth. At first I thought that he was trying to suffocate me but it was when I smelt something strong and started feeling weak when I realised what he was doing. He had never done this to me before. If he wanted to make a move on me, he would always knock me out or beat me until I was extremely weak so I couldn't fight back but he was drugging me. I was forcing myself not to close my eyes but it had felt like I haven't slept in weeks. I couldn't shut my eyes. I can't let him do this to me again but I was even weaker than I originally thought I was because I close my eyes for a quick second and darkness is already forced upon me. I am unable to wake up.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo x

I feel cold weak and extremely tired but at least I managed to get some sleep. Wait sleep? My eyes shot open after recalling the events that took place before my eyes had closed. I hated what I saw. I was lying on a bed, my father's bed, with no clothes on. I looked down to see my father between my legs with his mouth round my No! This was too wrong. I backed away as quickly as I could and slipped of the bed crouching in the corner watching him as he laughed at me.

"And the freak awakes" He chuckled. He nears me, crouched where I was and then I started to feel my body shake.

"Y...you dru... drugged me" I whispered, stuttering as I speak.

"Yeah, turns out I can't have my fun beating you anymore. I have to be careful now as I know they're suspecting something" he grumbled. There was definitely a catch here. He wouldn't just give up hitting me.

"You ran away from me Jasper and I don't take to kindly to that" he said with a grin.

What had he got planned? Was he going to tie me to the bed and make me feel the pain by inserting himself into me? Please god, whatever he has planned make me be unconscious at least.

"Show me your wrists" he demanded. I looked up at him with fear and curiosity. What had my wrists got to do with what he had planned for me?

"I said show them to me!" He yelled and I flinched at the volume and anger in his voice.

I showed him my wrists and he smiled at what he saw. The usual red lines and scars that painfully lay there, the pain that I deserve. My father pulled out a pocket knife and then my breathing started to get shaky as I panicked. I tried to back away but I was already in the corner and I couldn't run from him because he was crouching so close in front of me. He then passed me the knife.

"They also notice that you're harming yourself Jasper. They are keeping a close eye on you so I need to hold back on the physical punishments until it cools off". There was a slight pause. Why had he given a messed up person a sharp object. He just put himself in danger. " _I_ can't hurt you but you can. Go on, put it against your wrist" He instructed.

I couldn't believe it. He was going to make me cut myself, in front of him? I was considering the idea of using the knife on him but... I just couldn't. My father was right. I was a coward and I deserve everything that I was about to feel. I pressed the pocket knife against my wrist, my hands still shaky at his presents and I slid it across my arm, drawing blood at the immediate second. I just added one more scar to my collection of many.

"That was fun to watch Jasper but it didn't satisfy me. Why don't you reopen one of those recent cuts? They look like they hurt" he suggested.

I noticed the drug cloth near him so I knew that if I didn't obey him, my body would pay for it. I moved the blade over to a red mark that was about a week old. It was currently healing but I put pressure on it and I felt a sharp pain through my wrist. A silent tear fell from my eye as more blood runs down my arm and drips down my fingers.

"Now slash your chest" my father demands.

He smiles at the fact that I wasn't causing any trouble. I had no idea how much blood would be enough for him but maybe I would end up bleeding to death. _Hopefully_. I obeyed him once more and slashed at my chest four times. As I went for a fifth time, my father stopped me.

"Despite enjoying this, you're going to end up killing yourself if you continue and if that happens, how will I have my fun? Now get yourself cleaned up" he ordered.

I got up on my shaky legs and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I got in and started to run the water. I kept watering to blood away but more and more just poured out from my skin and it wouldn't stop. The colour of the water was red. I started to feel light headed and dizzy and then I collapsed in the shower and then everything went black again.

I was shocked to wake up in my own bed with bandages around my wrist and chest. I still weren't wearing anything but because I was in my own room, I doubt that anything happened. I looked around, relieved to find that only I remained in the room. I ripped off the bandages that were on me. It seemed like he was playing the role of the nice guy and I was the ungrateful brat but I knew that he wasn't doing this to be nice. He was going to make himself look like a good person to other people and that his 'son' is just a depressed self harmer that needs to end up in a mental asylum. Ok, maybe I am a cutter, so what if I enjoy the pain that it gives me. But when my father decides to encourage me and watch me like I am something interesting on TV, that's just sick. Mind you, I never thought about cutting anything but my wrists but when I was told to cut my chest, it felt so...right.

I got up, got dressed and once I was fully clothed, I looked out of the window, thankful that I couldn't see my father's car there. I went down stairs while I had the chance, hoping that I wouldn't get caught this time and went into the main room. I went through the draws full of my father's things and saw what I was looking for. Two other pocket knives. I took one and put it in my pocket for the times I feel the need to punish myself. I then went into the kitchen to get a drink and I noticed a note written and held in place on the fridge with a magnet.

_Skl tomorrow so act normal if it isn't too difficult. Lunch in microwave._

Sometimes I wondered if I like school or not. It gets me away from my father but the world is a dangerous place so there must be plenty of people out there just like my father. Even people my age. Everyone is there to harm me in so many ways and I don't want to give them the pleasure in doing it which is why I preferred home because I was only pleasuring one person. One very sick person. I looked in the microwave, like he said, and saw a bowl of chips. I dumped it in the bin, completely losing my appetite of thinking about my father and ran back up stairs. I sat back in the corner of my room and began to think of depressing thoughts like how much I wish I was dead-like I usually do.

**Poor Jasper. Despite putting him through all this pain, he really is my favourite character. Anyway, reviews are much appreciated.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wassup guys, I uploaded earlier than I thought because I wanted to be nice and because I was happy with the amount of reviews that I received. **

**I also wanted to say that Carlisle hasn't just given up on Jasper. We all know that he's not like that and he will do his best to get to the bottom of things. I apologise for making it seem like that.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**Alice POV**

Today is my second week of school and yet so much drama has happened during that small amount of time. I haven't felt like me lately as I am always a cheerful person but now I just worry about Jasper, wondering if he is Ok and if I will see him sometime soon. Even my dad, Carlisle, was concerned about him as I even over heard him speaking on the phone to who I assume was social services. He suspects physical abuse and I do too after seeing the state of his body. How else would you explain his situation?

"Alice, what year did the Trojan war estimately happen? " Mrs Clyde asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"It is believed to have happened around 1250bc to 1240bc" I answered.

"Good, at least I know you have been learning something but next time, make sure that your eyes are on me and not staring off into space" she said and then went back to talking to the class.

I looked at the empty seat on the left behind me where Jasper sat in the first and only lesson that we have had together and couldn't help but wonder where he is and what he was doing at this very moment. Was he OK?

"Ok class, that will be enough for today. Make sure you keep up with your research and I shall see you in our next class" Mrs Clyde said.

We all started packing up and heading out of the room, into the cafeteria for break. I went to the food bar and got myself a nutrition bar and a carton orange juice to snack on to last me until lunch.

"Wassup Alice" Emmett said as he noticed me paying for my food. He had already paid for his but before he walked to our table he whispered in my ear.

"Look who just walked in, that might stop you from moping about"

I turned around to see what he was talking about and I felt a smile spread across my face, glad to see Jasper walking over to a table in the nearest corner. I walked straight to him instead of my usual table. He hadn't noticed me as his forehead was leaning against the table, covering his face. I was about to tap his shoulder but then I remembered how he flinches at any physical contact so I decided to speak instead.

"Hey" I tried to make myself sound as friendly as possible.

He lifted his head to look at me and then put it straight down against the table again.

"Can I sit here?" I asked innocently.

He just shrugged so I placed myself in the seat in front of him watching him as he tried to sleep although I did hope that he would lift his head and start to speak to me but I knew that it wasn't going to happen any time soon. I opened the wrapper and took a bite out of my nutrition bar. Once my mouth was free, I spoke to him again.

"Do you sleep at home?" It was a question that had first popped in my head when I first saw him in the cafeteria. He just shrugged at me again.

"Why weren't you in history class?" I asked.

He looked up at me giving me a glare along with an annoyed sigh.

"Ok I will stop with the questions" I surrendered, hated that I was making him uncomfortable...again.

"I'm glad you're in today though, I kinda missed you" I admitted.

He gave me a confused look and started shuffling in his seat, making himself look uncomfortable. It's like he speaks with body language. He's too shy for using his voice. Maybe it's because we are in a very public place. I chose to give up on trying getting him to speak. It was clear that he wasn't going to use his voice while he was in school. He was silent in any public places but when it was just me and him, and even my dad, he did actually talk. If I was going to get him to talk to me, it had to be when it was just us.

"Ok, just one more question, but don't worry because you only need to nod yes or no but _don't_ shrug this time. Do you want to like, you know, hang out after school today?" I asked nervously. I hoped that he would say yes. He didn't move or say anything.

"I just really want to get to know you" I explained.

Suddenly he just got up and rushed out of the cafeteria. At least he didn't walk out due to a nervous breakdown this time. Well I wasn't aware that he was having one anyway. The bell went seconds later so I headed to my next class which was maths.

It was another lesson full of nothing but worry on Jasper. Bella had even nudged me at one point to stop me from zoning out. She thought that I was just crushing on Jasper, but she didn't know what I saw. If she did, she would be spending every waking moment hoping that he was OK just like me.

Even in my 4th lesson art, my favourite class, I still struggled to concentrate. Drawing tends to take my mind away but not even this worked as everything seemed to remind me of him. I even hoped that I didn't zone out again because this time, Bella wasn't here to bring me back to reality. Once the lesson was over, I headed to the cafeteria for some lunch. Pasta with a spicy tomato sauce.

"Are you going to sit with us or next to Mr Idonttalktopeoplebecauseitfreaksmeout?" Rosalie asked as she was making up a salad. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I only sat with him because he looked so lonely buy himself and he really needs a friend" I replied.

"Yeah well, he doesn't look like he wants a friend so why don't you just hang out with people who actually socialize with you?" she suggested.

We both walked to the table that our friends and siblings were sitting on. We began to eat and spoke about many things. Edward, Emmett and Mike were talking about sports and the schools rugby team whereas us girls were talking about fashion and shopping. Jessica then started babbling on about some girl that she seemed jealous about because they were talking to Mike and then she stopped talking as her eyes seemed to land on somebody and she giggled quietly. I noticed Rosalie smiled at me.

"It seems like you have a secret admirer" she whispered with a smirk.

She then rolled her eyes back in a way to tell me to look behind her so I did. I saw Jasper looking our way. Ok maybe not just our way but at me specifically. Our eyes met and I was sure that I felt something like some sort of connection. He seemed to have looked at me with need. Did he want to talk to me?

"Look guys, I'll be back in a sec" I informed as I walked his way.

"She's totally into him" I heard Jessica whisper.

As I neared him, he nervously looked back at the table.

"Are you alright?" I asked him. I hate myself for constantly asking him questions but I don't even notice it until I have said it. He nodded at me and then passed me a small piece of paper.

_I apologise for my rudeness this morning. I'm just not use to these kind of things. Afterschool sounds great if you are still up for it. _

I smiled at him, happy that he didn't mind hanging out with me.

"Of course I'm still up for it Jasper. How about we meet in the park near here and we could walk around and talk" I suggested.

He looked at me and smiled. Actually smiled and I was sure that it was the most beautiful sight that I had ever seen. I wish he would do it more often. He looked down at the table again and I was aware that he wanted to be left alone so I decided to give him some peace.

"I'll see you there then" I said and then headed back to my table to finish up my lunch.

"What's he give you, a love note?" Mike teased but I just ignored him and sat down.

I was glad that I was going to find out more about Jasper. Maybe not the bad stuff that I really wanted to know about as I knew he wouldn't tell me anything about that but at least now, we could start becoming friends.

**I know it's short again but like I said, I just wanted a way to thank you guys for the reviews. This was originally only the first half of the chapter and the other half would have been in Jasper's POV (next chapter) but you would have to of waited another few days if I expanded it so yeah, please tell me what you think. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey again. I feel so bad for the longer update but I literally haven't had a spare second on me but here I am with the next chapter anyway. BTW Thank you for the good amount of reviews again, I am so happy to know that there are actually people out there who love my story and it makes me even happier to know that you are all from different countries. I'm English so yeah...Hi from England. Anyway...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper POV**

I didn't like what I was doing although I don't regret it either. Part of me hated her but another part of me told me that she was different from the others. I was expecting to come to school today with people snickering behind my back and whispering things about me. Things that I was sure Alice would have told them but everything seemed normal. As far as I know, she hasn't told anyone about the suicidal side of me._ Or the abused side._ It made me trust her a little. No wait, I can't trust her, I shouldn't be trusting anyone. Trusting people means revealing your deepest secrets to them and then you get hurt because they decided to betray you and tell everybody about them. I wouldn't be able to handle that. I would kill myself right there and then, not that anyone would care anyway. My father won't be happy once he finds out that I didn't come home at the right time. Hopefully he will just stick to making me cut myself again. I don't mind that, I'm use to it. Although I'm not use to that other sick thing he does to me no matter how often he does it and no matter how long he has done it for. I was walking across the field and Alice was in sight. She spotted me and smiled.

"Hey Jasper" she said surprised.

Did she think that I wasn't going to show up? I forced a smile as I neared her although I made sure that I kept a distance between us because I knew that there was a chance that she would turn on me, even hurt me and I am too weak to handle that. Like my father has told me so many times.

"So, what shall we talk about?" she asked.

I didn't care what we spoke about because I knew that we would end up on the subject of why I am such a mental case so I shrugged at her. I knew she hated it when I answered her with a shrug but I don't care.

"I'm glad you came Jasper, I really am".

That comment made me nervous. Was she planning something? She wouldn't be glad of my presence unless she was going to hurt me. Was she going to get her family to help her torture me? And in how many ways? I bet she is a lot stronger than she looks. My father was only glad about my presence when he has that sick idea in his head. The idea that made him want to take my clothes off. The only reason why he hasn't killed me yet, that sick and twisted reason that was keeping me alive after all these years. 10 years I had been living this way. 10 awfully long years. I was just 7 years old when I discovered who my father really was. _More like my father 'discovered' me._ Alice might be the same and despite being the male, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop it. I would only freak out while shamefully letting her do what she wants to me. Maybe meeting her here was a bad idea after all.

"Jasper, are you Ok?"

That's when I noticed that my breathing had picked up and my body was uncontrollably shaking. I backed away from her and fell to the ground, trying to control my breathing but I couldn't. It felt like I was having a heart attack although I knew that it was nothing more than a nervous breakdown. Alice crouched down beside me.

"Hey Jasper, listen to me. You're in a safe place and I am the only other person here, I have no intention in hurting you so you are going to be Ok" she said in an attempt to calm me down.

She said it like she knew about my whole life and she knew exactly what I had been through. She grabbed my hand but I unsurprisingly freaked out and pulled it away from her.

"Shhh, Jasper it's alright, you have to trust me" She said quietly.

She grabbed my hand again. The physical contact was making me worse and now I was sure that she was going to hurt me but if I pulled my hand away from her again, the punishments would get worse. She slowly put my hand on her stomach, keeping her hand over mine so that I wouldn't let go. She breathed in and out heavily for me to copy her breathing pattern.

"Calm down Jasper and take deep breaths. Copy me"

I did so because I knew that if I could breath properly again, I wouldn't look as weak as I do now so she is less likely to hurt me.

"That's it Jasper, you're doing great" she said reassuringly.

I continued to follow her breathing pattern for a little longer until I got the hang of it and felt able to breath properly again.

"Ok?" she asked quietly.

I nodded silently at her and she removed my hand from her stomach although her hands remained on my own. I wanted to remove it away from her hold but it seemed like there was something stopping me. Her hand feels so gentle, the sort of touch that I am not use too. I hoped that she wouldn't let go as I felt so comfortable right now. I just don't understand what has come over me. It's like the feel of her hands has some sort of power over me. I lifted her hand and lightly stroked her fingers with my thumb, my own hand still shaky and then I noticed that she was looking at me. I put her hand back down and shifted slightly so that there was no more physical contact.

"Sorry" I whispered.

"Why are you apologising?" she questioned. She knew why, she just didn't understand why the movement was wrong. I knew otherwise. If she isn't as bad as I think she is, then I may not be able to resist a friendship with her. I can't have friends. I just can't.

"It's Ok" she whispered to me.

"No it's not, I shouldn't have done that. I don't have the right to touch you" I said firmly.

I knew that she touched me first. She was the one that grabbed my hand but it's not like I could have stopped her. If I could tell someone not to do something to me because it was making me nervous or uncomfortable, I'd still be a virgin. Some people say that losing your virginity doesn't count if it was forced, but it does to me. _By my own father._

She sighed with a sad smile and we just sat on the grass for a few silent moments.

"So, are you going to tell me why you weren't in history class? she questioned.

I didn't want to answer this. She would think even lower of me, if that was even possible. I have already showed her how much of a freak I am. Maybe if I told her the truth, she would just forget about me and treat me the way everybody else does.

"I was in the nurse office" I said hesitantly.

I haven't known Alice for long but I knew her well enough to know what the next question would be.

"Why?"

I knew it. I sighed at her so she continued.

"Come on Jasper, you can tell me, did you feel ill?" she tried to guess.

"I er, I kinda panicked. You know, like um, when it gets as bad as it sorta just did now" I explained nervously.

"Why did you panic? Did somebody touch you? Talk to you? Put you through too much pressure?" she continued to guess. Strange, she hardly knows me, yet she already knows what kind of things set off my panic attacks.

"I just... I er, I didn't expected today to be um, you know, normal" I admitted.

"Why not?" Alice questioned again.

Should I be honest with her? I have experienced a lot of bad things when I lie or not saying the full story. The only lie I do stick to is the whole 'My father is a great person' thing. I chose to tell her although I felt that it would be a bit of a bad idea.

"I thought you told everybody" I whispered sadly.

She suddenly realised what I was talking about and shifted a little closer to me.

"Oh Jasper, I would never do anything like that. I want to help you not hurt you" she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

I looked to the ground desperately trying to think of a way to change the subject. I was still shaking but it isn't as obvious as it was earlier.

"Um, how long do you er, plan to you know, hang out?" I asked annoyed at myself for how lamely I spoke. It wasn't my fault really, it's just years of being silent around everyone made me need to think through what I need to say. I feel half my age when I speak.

"As long as you want me to. My parents don't mind how long I'm out for, as long as they know where I am and that I am home before it gets too dark" Alice replied.

I nodded at her. We sat in silence for another few minutes and then Alice decided to ask me some questions. Questions that I wouldn't mind answering as they weren't exactly too personal, just the sort of '_getting to know you'_ questions like my hobbies, favourite colour etc. Although I still tried to make my answers short and simple, I couldn't help but feel that she was trying to become my friend. I started to feel like I could trust her. Not much but by the tiniest amount. It's not good for me to trust someone but if I think about how my life is now, what have I got to lose? I promised her that I would avoid suicide but to do that, I would need a light in my life_. She is that light. _A reason to live for, and for the first time in my life, a person made me feel hope.

**I know! It's not much of a chapter but I felt the need to update. Besides, some chapters have to be boring in order for a few others to be good. I don't know where this story is going yet but I have a few ideas in my head but that's only the really good stuff so I will also need time to think of some fillers but I will do my best to update soon.**

**REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys. I would have uploaded earlier on this week but I have been busy with not only coursework but also my pet rats. One of them gave birth earlier this week and unfortunately today my other pregnant female died of exhaustion failing to give birth so I now only have 20. So RIP to Cpl Dunn and her babies **** and congratulations to Jazz and her babies. This chapter is a little longer than my last few as I feel that I owe it to you so enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper's POV**

I was walking back home trying to think of a good excuse for my lateness, not that it would make a difference to my punishment but it was worth a try. No matter what my father does to me, I won't regret meeting up with Alice. I am still not 100% sure that she was safe to be around (actually it was 50/50) but she was definitely safer than my father. Once I reached the house, I noticed that there were two cars in front of it. One was my father's but I didn't recognise the other one. I curiously walked up to the door and slowly opened it and my dad was there in an instant, passing me a small note.

_Social services. Remember the story that I told you to tell them. Do as I say and I'll feed you. _

Great. So now there were people sticking their nose into our lives and making me think that they can help me. Wrong, they'll just send me to a place full of people who would want to torture me, my father said so. I won't let them take me. My father is smart and he knew that it would reach this at one point so he thought up a story to explain a lot of my injuries and behaviour and now it was my time to tell it. I nodded at him so I can get this over and done with. The sooner the social worker leaves, the sooner my father will feed me and I am absolutely starving.

"My son is here" my father said kindly as he walked in the main room where the social worker was sitting. I had never heard my father use such a friendly tone before. The social worker had light brown hair with tanned skin and a bit of a muscular build and was around the same size as my dad who was 6'4.

"Hello Jasper, my name is Michael J Dunn. Is it Ok if I can have a private talk with you?" he asked.

He smiled at me like I would spill my guts to him. Well it isn't working MrHappySocialWorkerDunn because everything that I am about to tell you is going to be a lie. I nodded at him and he asked if I could take him to my room so I lead him there. He looked around for a bit, probably looking for the slightest signs of neglect but failed. My room was just a plain area with just my bed, a desk with a chair, and a few drawers for my clothes. It didn't need much anyway, all I do in here is sit in the corner when I'm in suicidal or depression mode and slit my wrists. I hardly even use my bed as I mostly wake up on my fathers.

"Feel free to sit down. It is your room after all" Dunn said joyfully.

I sat on my bed and nodded to the chair under my desk so that he could sit too. If he was standing during our conversation, the height difference would make me nervous and that is the last thing I want right now. He pulled out the chair and sat down facing me.

"So Jasper, I received a call from a person who seemed rather concerned about you" he started, the serious side of him was starting to kick in.

"Who was it?" I asked demandingly

"That is confidential information so you don't need to know that" he informed.

"It was that Cullen wasn't it? That Dr guy, I told him that everything is fine and he didn't believe me. My father loves me, he wouldn't do anything to hurt me" I convinced, my anger rising a little.

Being angry never ended well for me, my father would never allow it but at least being in this sort of mood stopped me from nervously shaking of breathing hard and I was thankful that a panic attack hadn't started yet as that would defiantly raise his suspicions.

"Now Jasper, we aren't assuming anything we just need to hear and explanation from you and your father. We have already spoken to him and now I need to talk to you and ask you a few questions" he said calming me down.

I knew that he was pretty much questioning both of us similar questions and if they are answered differently, he would know that something is up. Nice try Dunn because you're just going to hear the same thing but from me instead of him. I didn't say anything after that so he continued.

"So how are things with you and your father?"

I shrugged at him "normal" I replied plainly.

"Describe normal for me"

"I don't know, he looks after me fine, he feeds me"... (_every now and again)... "_I am living under a roof, he cares for me, spends time with me, helps me with my homework, the usual family routine" I described.

"Speaking of homework, your attendance at school isn't very good, tell me about that"

Story time

"My father knows how difficult it is for me to socialise with other people. I have panic attacks too often at school and my father just wants to make it easier for me so he lets me stay at home and teaches me what he knows. Ask the school if you don't believe me, they'll tell you that I'm often in the nurse office and they will also tell you that I am keeping up with my grades as proof that I'm still learning".

"No, I believe you" Dunn stated. Good. "So what causes these panic attacks?"

"Being close to people, being put under pressure, being put in a dangerous position. I always feel that I'm in danger" I replied plainly. So far it sounded like the truth. Not for long.

"What makes you feel that way?" Dunn asked.

I felt like I was in some sort of counselling meeting. Why couldn't it be just a simple 'are you being abused?' and I will answer 'no' and then he could just leave. Why do things always have to be complicated?

"A few years ago, I was beaten up badly by a group of teens and they left me for dead. I didn't know who they were and the police were unable to identify them due to no evidence to pin point any members. A few months later, I was hit round the head with what appeared to be a bottle of alcohol and it knocked me out cold. When I woke up, I was in an alley way by myself. When I made my way home, my father insisted to take me to the hospital but I had a nervous breakdown so he looked after me by himself. So yeah, that was when the breakdowns had started because I was never sure when they would strike again so I hated being near people. I felt like the whole world was there to torture me" I stopped.

I thought that this story was going brilliantly and the emotion in his eyes seemed to make it clear that he was falling for it.

"How did you get the newer bruises and broken ribs?" He asked.

Now I was definitely sure that it was Alice's dad that made the call. Only my father, Alice herself and her dad had seen my body. Nobody else knew about it.

"I was beat up badly again and I am pretty sure that it was the same people, I just don't understand who it is and the police are no help either" I said.

"Why do you think this is happening to you?" Dunn asked.

"Because I'm a freak" I answered truthfully.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

I looked away and pulled my long sleeves over my hands as I didn't want him to notice that I had started shaking. I just needed to take deep breaths. If I don't, I'll freak out right in front of the social worker. He noticed the gesture and realised that now was the time to move on to another subject.

"I also received information about your body weight and I have to say Jasper, I am deeply concerned. How often do you eat?"

My eyes remained away from his as I gave him my usual answer-A shrug.

"Can you tell me when your last meal was?" he questioned.

"My father is doing his best to encourage me to eat" I convinced him, not answering his question. I just didn't want him to suspect the truth.

"Alright Jasper, but it is important for me to know how you're eating" he answered.

I scoffed at this. Who does he think he is, my doctor?

"I'm improving. I just tend to panic so much that I forget that I am hungry but I am doing my best to get better and I don't need anyone to worry or help me" I said. I sounded like I was some kid with anorexia, or maybe he thinks that exactly. At least it will stop him thinking my father as the bad guy.

"Jasper, I understand your situation but even though you're not a fan of hospitals, you have been ordered that you have to go there every few weeks for a check up to make sure that you will start to gain weight and that isn't the only think we will be looking out for" He paused to think about what he should say and then he started again. "Jasper, I understand that you are a self harmer".

I didn't say anything so he carried on.

"Your father also knows about this and said that he even considered placing you in a mental health hospital but decided against it as he wanted to give you a chance to improve. I just want you to know that if you don't improve your weight or stop harming yourself, I will not hesitate but put you there myself" he warned.

Well this is great. My father starves me, encourages me to cut myself, and I am the one that will be paying for it by being locked up in some sort of padded room where I will crave a sharp object pressed against my wrist. I'm sure that my father wouldn't leave me in such a place though. I know he wouldn't. After all, he won't last a week without playing with his toy.

"I'm improving" I assured him.

He sighed at me. "I hope so Jasper, that is all for now" he finished.

Good. It seems like he actually fell for it. I wonder how long it took for my father to come up with that. He got up from the seat and left my room but I remained where I was. I heard him say goodbye to my father and then left. I got off my bed and shrunk into the corner of my room and listened as my father came up the stairs and opened my door.

"You, no more cutting, got it?" He said threateningly. I nodded at him quickly and then he placed a bowl of chips in front of me.

"That's for saying what I told you to tell them. Now eat" He ordered and then left the room.

It sounded like a good thing that he was making me stop myself cutting my wrists, avoiding hitting me and now start feeding me but in fact, this was worse. He has stopped all of my punishments but one. The worst of them all as this was the only punishment that didn't show any obvious physical signs. The punishment that made me sick to my stomach. The one that would make me want to shower over and over again but would still feel extremely dirty. I put my food to the side. I didn't feel like eating._ Again. _I know that he will come up to my room again soon and drag me into his own and do things to me as in a way to say 'This is what you get for making them suspicous'. And now I was playing the waiting game. Waiting for that moment when I hear his feet coming up the stairs again. I started to feel tears fall from my eyes. I just wish that there was someone out there that would touch me in a way to say that they love me rather than take advantage of me and use me for their own pleasure but who am I kidding? Everybody hates me. Nobody would ever want me in that way. Besides, I would always freak out at the slightest touch anyway. Alice shouldn't have saved me that day. I am just a worthless being waiting for death to take me.

**Sorry for any mistakes. I didn't proof read today as I was in such a hurry to update but I will read through it and make any changes when I next have the time. Please review, I only got one last chapter and I could really do with cheering up **** .**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello people again. I feel the need to update so here it is. Thank you for the reviews that I have had so far. I'm going to give you an advance notice by saying that not much action is in this chapter but there will be more angst and a really unlucky Jasper a little further on in the story but until then...**

**Also, expect shortened words and abbreviations as there is a note passing in italics and I wanted it to sound as 'noteish' as possible if that makes sense**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Alice POV**

"So how is it going with Bella?" I asked Edward while sitting together in Biology.

"Well, we're great friends and she seems to like me a lot so I think it's going great" he replied happily.

"Good, see sisters are great for giving good advice to their brothers when it comes to girls" I teased.

"Yeah well, I too would have given you advice but you haven't exactly gone for a regular guy" he said plainly.

"How many times do I have to tell you Edward? Jasper is my friend_, just_ my friend" I rolled my eyes at him and he smirked.

"I bet he see's you more than just a friend" Mike interrupted as he sat on his table behind us.

"Shut up Mike" I replied annoyed.

"No, I'm serious dude. I have known that messed up kid since primary school and for as long as I have know him for, I haven't heard him speak to anyone. I don't even know what his voice sounds like man, and then he speaks to you? I'm pretty sure that is his way on crushing on you" Mike pointed out. I paused at this.

"Mike, how did you know that he was talking to me?" I questioned him.

"Are you kidding? Who doesn't know? Emmett has been telling everybody how he saw you and 'Mr mute' together yesterday straight after school" he said.

"Emmet did what?" I questioned a little angered.

I felt like tearing his head off. He didn't know Jasper very well but surely he knew him well enough to know that he had a few problems and if anybody starts talking about me and him, it would definitely freak him out.

"Calm down Alice. Emmet went to get you to see if you wanted a ride home yesterday but he noticed that you were talking to 'silent boy' so he didn't bother" Edward replied calmly.

"Seriously guys can we stop with the nick names please. His name is Jasper OK? So that's what we'll call him" I said irritated a little.

Edward and Mike chuckled at me.

"What?"

"Nothing" Edward replied

"You three, get back to your work please" Mr Griggs, our biology teacher told us.

We all went back to concentrating on our assignments and then there was a knock on the door. I didn't take much notice of it but then Edward kicked me slightly.

"Speak of the devil" he whispered.

At this I looked up to see who knocked at the door and saw the familiar frightened face with his blond curly hair. Mr Griggs walked up to him and looked at the note that the silent angel had passed him.

Angel? Ok fine, I was totally crushing on him. I'm just not the sort of person that would just blurt it out to everyone. Besides, this was Jasper. Even the slightest moments of bonding involved taking baby steps or I would end up making him panic. At the moment I am just focusing on our friendship that was starting to form. The same way that Edward was handling it with Bella, only that Jasper is a lot more complicated.

"Just find a seat" Mr Griggs whispered to him.

At that moment, Jasper looked directly at me so I smiled but he didn't return it. Instead, he gave me a desperate look and I knew instantly what he was begging me to do. I turned to Edward.

"I know what you're thinking and I can assure you that I am not moving" Edward stated firmly.

"Oh come on Eddie, Please?" I begged.

"No Alice. This is my seat and I'm not moving just because you want me to make loverboys life easier" he replied.

"Fine" I sighed and then I turned around to look at mike. "Hey Mike, do you want to trade seats with me? All the smart guys sit at the front and every girl loves an intelligent person. I mean look at Edward, he is already getting Bella hooked" I encouraged.

Newton being as stupid as possible, thankfully, moved out of his seat to allow me to sit there and I heard Edward sigh as he now sits to the idiot. I connected my eyes with Jasper again who was still standing by the door and then he cautiously made his way to the seat next to me. Once he sat down, he looked at me and mimed a 'thank you' with his lips. I smiled at him, my way in appreciating his thankfulness. I started my work again but not long after, I chose to play a role of a young high school kid and passed a note to him.

_U haven't been in my Bio class B4_

It wasn't long until he passed the note back

_I was transferred _

_Any reason Y _I questioned and passed the note back to him.

_I didn't like the 1 I was previously in_

_Was it 2 difficult? _I asked

He seemed to think a bit before he wrote but then the note was passed back to me again.

_U weren't in it. _

I read through it again, double checking what he wrote. He moved to biology because I was in that class? I notice Jasper shifting rather uncomfortably so I smiled reassuringly at him to let him know that his answer hasn't annoyed me. I knew it must have embarrassed him to admit that which was why considering I didn't know what to reply, I had to write something back because if Jasper gets the slightest hint that he shouldn't have said something so open, which in this case it was to me, he would stop talking to me again and we would be back to step one.

_So u prefer me in ur classes?_

_Ur the only one that I have eva felt OK wiv. U seem 2 understand me _He replied.

I was glad that he was starting to feel safe around me. I know that he was still extremely skittish around me and everybody else but nobody else was able to make him feel the way I do and that made me happy enough to know that I am there to help him. I decided to end our written chat with one last note.

_I'm glad ur in my class for bio as well as history_

_Me too _He finished.

I was jotting down notes about bio whereas Jasper was doing his best to not put his head down onto the table to fall asleep. If we were sitting further at the back, he would have done so. He kept taking quick glances at me although I made myself appear unnoticed. As the bell went, all the students started to pack away their things. Jasper didn't seem to have many things with him. Just his pen and his biology book. Once he put that in his small bag and his pen in his pocket, he remained seated and then I realised that he was waiting for me so I hurriedly put my folder, note book and pencil case in my bag before getting up to head out of the door to the cafeteria for lunch with Jasper following me.

I picked up a plate and got some pasta, Jasper was still close by my side although I noticed that he didn't pick a plate up for himself. He was looking behind me at the table he usually sits at and at the table that me and my siblings usually sit at and yet again, I knew exactly what he wanted.

"Do you want me to come sit with you today?" He looked down at me giving me another pleading look. Why was he already becoming so attached to me? Oh well I'm not going to complain, I actually like it.

"Ok" I confirmed.

I smiled at him although he still didn't return it but he gave me a curious look, tilting his head like he was expecting me to say that I didn't want to sit with him or that I would make him sit with the people I usually hang out with knowing that it would give him a nervous breakdown. Wrong. I would never do anything like that.

"Hey Alice!" I heard Emmett shout as he made his way towards me.

Jasper flinched at the sound of his voice and when he noticed Emmett coming closer, he grew all tense and looked down at the ground and this is when I knew that as long as my brother was near us, Jasper would ignore me as well as everybody else. Why does he have to be so shy? Emmett's huge muscular size wasn't helping either as I saw that Jasper was trying to hide his shaking hands with his sleeves.

"Hi Emmett" I said to him.

Emmett's eyes moved to the right and then noticed Jasper.

"Wassup dude?"

Jasper yet again flinched at the sound of his voice and backed up a little.

"The people around here are right. You really aren't much of a talker are you" he joked and Jasper took another small step back.

"Emmett" I warned.

"You're not going to sit with us today are you?" Emmet questioned doubtfully as he turned back to me.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably probably thinking that I would change my mind.

"I promised Jasper that I would sit with him today" I told him.

Emmett looked back at Jasper who had a fearful look on his face and backed up again but this time he turned around, walking fast to his usual table in the corner.

"Oh come on dude, I'm not that scary" Emmett yelled at him "Is he for real, I mean seriously Alice, what is with that guy?" he asked.

"He's just not a people person, now if you don't mind big brother, I have a friend to calm down" I said as I walked past him with my plate of pasta and my bottled drink.

I walked to Jasper's table and he was in his typical position, head down on the table trying to forget the world. I put my plate and bottle of water on the table and the sound made him flinch and he looked up a little surprised.

"What? You think that I was going to sit with my annoying brother?" I questioned him.

He gave me another curious gaze like he was trying to figure me out as I sat down.

"You didn't get anything to eat?"

Jasper dropped to gaze and looked at the table instead with a shrug.

"I have some money left if you want me to get you something" I offered but he just sighed and shook his head.

"You sure" I asked doubtfully but he looked away.

For as long as I have known Jasper, I haven't seen him eat a single thing and it worried me. He really looked like he should have a huge meal down him. Even his spine stuck out unnaturally as it was incredibly visible through his shirt as he leans against the table from the top of his neck to his lower back, not to mention that I could even view the back of his ribs as they were also clearly shaped out. I did feel a little uncomfortable eating in front of him. I might as well be eating a whole buffet in front of the starving kids of Africa. The only difference would be that the African children would be begging me for the food whereas Jasper would just sit there and gradually starve to death which I was worried would actually happen sooner or later. As I finished eating, I continued to sit with Jasper.

"So what class do you have next?" I asked.

Jasper pulled out his schedule from his jacket pocket and passed it to me.

"I.C.T, Oh well, I have Maths so I guess I won't see you for the rest of the day" I frowned.

He glanced at me and I didn't miss the slightly panicked look that I saw on his face before he looked away.

"Hey, maybe you could come round my house tonight. You know, I can help you catch up on Biology as you have only just started it".

He looked at me and then at the table that Edward, Emmet and Rosalie were sitting at and he shifted a little.

"It will be alright, I'll make sure that they won't bother you" I reassured him. "I mean you don't have to come if you don't want to".

Jasper locked his eyes onto mine and then smiled at me. It was just a small smile but it was enough to make me want to smile back. I knew that his smile meant that he would come which made me even happier. Then the bell went reminding us that it was time to head for our last lesson of the day.

"So meet me outside of the school near the park area where we met last time. Nobody hangs out there. We will walk from there to my house OK?" I told him.

I knew that my parents would be OK with it as they would love the fact that I am making new friends but I text my mum, Esme so that she would be expecting an extra person coming home tonight.

_My friend is coming over today for some catch up on work if that's OK_

She messaged back almost instantly

_Of course its OK sweetie, I can't wait to meet her_

So Esme is expecting me to come home with a female friend, I suppose any typical mum would but I'm sure that she wouldn't mind it being a guy either so I left it at that and headed to my maths lesson waving Jasper goodbye. And yet again, I couldn't wait for another day after school.

**Another long chapter as I thought that you guys deserve it, not to mention I have felt a little sick for the past few days but that hasn't stopped me writing up this chapter. So what do you think? Reviews please.**


	13. Chapter 13

**OK so the reviews actually made me really happy so I thought 'Hey, why not update early?' so here is chapter 13. And as a bonus, Chapter 14 is currently being written now so expect another early update. Also, I know that some of you readers aren't too keen on the swearing so I'm going to warn you that this chapter contains just that. Just a cute Jasper and Alice moment.**

**Alice's POV**

"Where are you going? Emmet's driving you home" Rosalie informed me.

My mind had been so focused on Jasper since lunchtime that I had completely forgotten to tell the others that he was coming round our house tonight. Or warn them not to do anything that would make him nervous, including socializing.

"Oh, well I am waiting for Jazz" I told her.

"Jazz? I thought you hated us giving him nicknames" Edward interrupted.

"Why are you waiting for _him_?" Rosalie asked curiously.

"He is coming around our house tonight. You know, so I can help him with his biology work as he just joined my class" I replied joyfully. I suppose I was just using the biology catch up as an excuse to get to know Jasper better.

"Oh, I do wonder how he coincidentally ended up in the same class as you" Edward spoke sarcastically.

"Wait what? I knew it. He does like you. It's just a shame that he isn't normal. I mean, he's really cute but that is the only thing that is actually good about him" Rosalie muttered.

"Leave Jasper alone guys seriously, you are all so prejudice. You don't even know him which reminds me, don't even _try_ to get to know him today because..."

"He will freak out, we know Alice" Edward interrupted.

"I just need him to know that he is safe in our house" I mumbled quietly.

"He'll be safest locked up in a padded room in my opinion" I glared at Rose as she continued to speak. "It's true and you know it Alice, he jumps at the slightest movement, freaks out at the slightest sound, he doesn't eat, he won't stop shaking and he spends his days at school sleeping. The list will get bigger once we find out more about him. Do you really want to get to know him Alice? Because in honesty, although I don't even know him very well, I can tell you now that he is not good for you. Jeez, he isn't even good for himself. I wouldn't be surprised hive his reason for death was suicide. Depression is written all over him" Rosalie metaphorically spoke.

She had no idea how close she was to the truth. What would have happened if I hadn't walked out of the house for fresh air that day? Would he have been missed? Was there somebody out there who actually cared for him? From what I manage to summarize at the state of Jasper's body, I was sure his parents didn't. Who would let their child suffer in silence in which Jasper literally is? Who would let their child waste away, the way Jasper is, becoming nothing more but skin and bones. What parent would go unnoticed at the bruised body that Jasper had, unless of course they had caused it. Did they cause it? We won't know anything until Jasper will finally manage to speak up.

I thought it was weird how Rosalie managed to read him so clearly. She has had a bad experience with people, she knows what pain is like. She knows what suffering in silence is like. She even knows what it_ looks_ like. Perhaps Jasper and Rosalie share a very similar life only rose is now living a happy one and I doubt that Jasper is.

At the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper standing a huge distance away, focusing on me but he was a still as stone. Of course, he wasn't going to come near me as long as my siblings were here too. As if on cue, Emmett hooted the horn of his car to get our attention.

"Hurry the fuck up" He shouted from the car park.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you later then" Edward mumbled. I knew he didn't like me hanging around other guys. To him, I was still just his little sister so non-relative male socializing was something that he wasn't too keen on.

"Yeah, just don't expect him to be sticking his tongue down your throat anytime soon. I don't see any physical relationship ever happening with him and don't say that you are not into him Alice because I know love when I see it and you are already hooked, but him? He probably doesn't even know the definition of a kiss" Rosalie said before she walked away.

Was she for real? She thinks she knows everything about love. I mean, yeah I liked him more than I should but it's just a crush. I'll get over it in a week or two and we'll end up being good friends. It won't ever be more than that. Jasper closed the distance between us once he saw Emmett drive out of the car park with Edward and Rose and relaxed a little.

"Hey Jasper"

He smiled at me and I started to walk him the quickest route to my house.

"Do you're parent's know where you will be?" I asked him, trying to avoid the awkward silences as we walked but it's difficult to keep a conversation going with Jasper as he answers as plain as possible to end it.

He stayed silent for a bit and then spoke "There is no 'they'. Just my father"

I noticed right then that there was the slightest hint of a southern accent. I never noticed it before. Well of course I wouldn't, Jasper speaking is a rare occasion but when he does speak, I never noticed it.

"What happened to your mum? Or mother? Whatever it is you call her. Did she die?" I asked.

"She left" he said plainly with his eyes looking straight ahead with no emotion in them.

"Why did she leave?" I asked curiously.

At that moment he stopped walking and tensed.

"Jasper?"

He continued to stand there. Jasper wasn't much of a mover but I had never seen him so still. His eyes started to flicker like he was seeing something that I couldn't and he was now worrying me. I stood in front of him trying to connect me eyes to his but he didn't notice me. He was looking straight through me.

"Jazz?" I tried and failed to get his attention again.

I started to panic as I noticed his hands were clenching and his nails were digging into his skin but he was unresponsive to the pain. As soon as I spotted the blood fall from his palms I had to do what I knew he hated most. I got closer to him and shook his bony shoulder as light as I could.

Within a fraction of a second, he speedily backed away, crushing his back against a tree and he started to breath heavily looking at me with an extremely terrified expression. _He thought I was trying to hurt him._ It hurt at the thought. I would do no such thing. Why was he so delicate, so sensitive? Once he seemed to notice where he was and the relieved expression that I now wore on my face he relaxed a little.

"Don't... Don't d...do that" His voice was deeper than usual although it held a lot of panic.

"Oh Jazz I'm so sorry, you zoned out and it scared me" I admitted. Then I realised why he seemed to be seeing something that I couldn't. "Jasper, did you have a flash back?"

He didn't say anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

He still didn't say anything.

Then Jasper continued to walk, eyes to the ground.

"Wait Jazz, you have no idea where I live" I said as I caught up to him.

I was really growing concerned for him. I just wish that he would open up to somebody.

"Why Jazz?" he asked me.

"Huh?"

"You called me Jazz" he stated.

"Oh, you know, short for Jasper" I informed.

"Oh" He mumbled,

"Don't you like it? I can stop if you don't" I told him.

"Don't care" he mumbled again.

"It's not that you don't care, it's more that you're afraid to give me your own opinion" I blurted out.

How was I supposed to know how to make him happy if he never gave me his own opinion? He turned his head to me as we carried on walking and sighed.

"My opinion is, I don't care what people call me" he answered.

I knew that what he actually meant was he didn't care about all the nasty names he has been given in the past or the nicknames being given to him about being silent or a nervous wreck now in the present. I sighed at him.

"I'll stick with Jasper" I said quietly.

He nodded once but I didn't miss the quick look of sadness that filled his face.

"Let me see your hands" I told him, changing the subject.

We stopped and he looked at me confused and showed them to me obediently, afraid at what would happen if he didn't with no doubt. I slowly grabbed both of his hands and he flinched at the touch but didn't back away or pull them out of my reach. In fact he relaxed immediately. Strange. He looked down at his hands to see what I was looking at and noticed the bloody nail marks on them after he clenched his fist so tightly earlier. He looked back up at me and tilted his head like a puppy. At first I thought that he was curious at how it happened as I knew that he wouldn't remember after zoning out but then I noticed the look in his eye. The same look that he gave me when I put his hands on my stomach yesterday to help him breath during his panic attack. Did he like it when I touched his hands?

"Does it hurt?" I asked

He continued to hold me gaze, ignoring my question. He was looking at me like I was some sort of puzzle and even I found it impossible to look away. His gorgeous blue eyes had me hypnotized, they held so much life in them although I swear they have never been so bright before. I began to rub my thumbs over his hand ever so lightly and in return, his fingers started to link into mine. He looked back down to our hands and continued to silently question the movement. We were stood like that for what felt like forever but it couldn't have been anymore than a few minutes. I could have stood like this for the rest of the day and I knew that he would too but we needed to get home. Especially because it look like it was going to rain soon. In fact, I was amazed that it managed stop for this long.

I let go of his hands and smiled at him although he frowned back, looking away to avoid eye contact. Already, I knew that he was shutting down on me again. He must have seen that gesture as rejection. He is even more sensitive than I first thought. If it wasn't for the skittish behaviour, I would have put my hands around him right now and told him that everything is alright and that I truly did like him but of course, I knew that gesture would make him run ten miles and he would never get close to me again. Instead I decided to grab one of his hands and he doubtfully looked back up at me, struggling to keep my gaze.

"Sorry" He whispered.

I wasn't going to bother asking him why he was apologising because I already knew the answer to it. This is like a repeat of yesterday's behaviour. We have a moment of feeling a connection and then he will apologise because he thinks that he was the only one that felt it. I just don't understand why he felt the need to apologise. He did nothing wrong. I like him more than he thinks. In fact, I like him a lot more than I thought. Maybe it isn't just a crush. With his hand still in mine, I continued to wlk to my house, pulling Jasper with me.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Once my house was in sight, Jasper stopped dead in his tracks stopping me with him. I looked up at him in question and his eyes flickered over to the house. I was confused at what he wanted me to do and the fact that he is hardly talking to me now isn't helping either.

"Look, we'll just walk into the house and then go into my room to start doing some catch up on bio but first, my mum would probably want to meet...Oh" I said in realisation.

He didn't want to be crowded. Esme would want to meet him, Emmett would constantly ask him questions, Rose would get personal and Edward would start glaring at him silently screaming 'touch my sister and I will give you a reason to panic near me'.

"It's Ok Jasper, I told my brothers and sister to lay of you. My mum will just want to meet you and my dad already knows who you are" I said I an attempt to calm him down but I failed.

"It's alright Jasper, he's at work anyway" I informed and I started to rub my thumb over the back of his hand again. He relaxed immediately and looked at me in the eye.

"I liked it when you called me Jazz" He admitted quietly and I smiled at him. He actually returned the smile, his face forming a small dimple at the corner or his mouth and it made him look absolutely cute.

"Ok then Jazz, let's go inside" I said cheerfully and I walked forward.

Jasper tightened to grip on my hand as we reached the door and I gave him one last smile before I knocked.

**Ok, not a good ending but the chapter's cute right? I know that a lot of you out there will be wondering what the flash back was about and as an advanced warning, it's a triggering one so look out if you're planning on reading the next two chapter as I'm not sure if I will put it in Chapter 14 or 15. I already have it written on paper, I just need to find the perfect way in adding it in as I don't like writing the same moment in 2 different point of views as I, in my opinion lose interest in the 2****nd**** POV and I really don't want you to get bored of my story. Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok guys, VERY triggering chapter so I am not going to put a gun to your head forcing you to read it or anything. It is in 2 different POV starting with... Esme. Different.**

**Also, flashback is in italics. (Yes, I decided to introduce the flashback in this chapter). If you guys aren't a fan of triggering chapters or strong language, skip the flashback. It would still make sense, the flash backs would just explain a few things.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Esme's POV**

"S'up mum, what's for dinner?" Emmet blurted out as he walked into the kitchen.

"There will be a day when you come home from school and ask me how I am but for now, I shall stick with 'what's for dinner'" I hinted to him.

"How are you mum" Emmet smiled at me.

"I'm fine honey, thanks for asking" I replied sarcastically.

"Good, what's for dinner?" He asked yet again and I laughed at him. Although he gave me a confused look in return, unsure at what was so funny.

"Whatever it is, make sure that it is super fattening. Alice's friend really needs weight gain" Edward shouted from the main room.

Oh yes, of course. Alice was bringing home a friend today. I was glad that she was actually making friends. At first, I was worried about her as her mood seemed too change when she first started school, looking rather sad and depressed and I was afraid that she wasn't fitting in well but lately, her energetic behaviour has returned and it was obvious that this specific friend did this to her which I really appreciated. Speaking of Alice and her friend, there was a knock on the door and a smile appeared on my face, knowing that it was them.

I walked up to the door and opened it and I was a little surprised at what I saw. There was a curly haired blond with a very skinny frame who of which appeared to be a male. I wasn't expecting Alice to be bringing home a boy and what was even more of a shock was that he seemed to be gripping her hand tightly. Alice never told me about being in a relationship and she doesn't keep things from me either. Maybe he's just a very close friend. Close friends tend to hold hands. At least in female friendships they do.

"Hey mum, this is Jasper" she introduced.

I noticed that this Jasper was a little tense and he was shaking a little. Or is he shivering. I couldn't quite tell but it is a little cold outside.

"It's nice to meet you Jasper. Both of you come in, It looks like it's about to rain." I warned.

Alice walked in, pulling Jasper with her and he started to look around.

"Welcome to our home. Do you want me to show you around?" I asked him.

He seemed to look at Alice in desperation and then she smiled at him and turned to me.

"Actually mum, me and Jasper really need to get started on our biology work so I'll just show him to my room" she said, giving me a pleading expression.

I hated the idea of a boy in Alice's room. Doesn't every mother? But for some strange reason, this boy didn't seem to act like any other. He just seemed to be afraid. I had known Jasper no longer than two minutes but I can already tell that he is out of his comfort zone. He looked like the kind of child that every mother would want to hug until a smile would appear on his face. At the moment, clinging on to Alice seemed to be the closest he was to comfort and I really didn't want to destroy that so I just let it go.

"Alright, I will call you once dinner is ready. Jasper, are there any specific food's that you are allergic to or aren't very keen on?" I questioned so I knew if there was anything that I shouldn't cook.

He shook his head and then whispered. "Not hungry".

Looking at him, I could tell that he wasn't hungry very often.

"You may not be hungry now, but you certainly will a little later on" I informed him.

He looked back down at Alice, yet again with a desperate expression.

"Come on Jazz, maybe you should have a little of my mum's food. Her cooking is amazing" she encouraged. He looked away from her also, apparently finding the carpet interesting. He forcefully nodded and Alice smiled at me.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you guys to it. I'll make a start on dinner then" I told them and Alice turned around to lead Jasper upstairs to her room.

I walked into the kitchen to start preparing the food. I usually make my children healthy meals but as we have a guest tonight, I was making homemade pizza. One cheese and tomato and one pepperoni.

I spent the first 25 minutes preparing and making the base of the pizza and making the toppings look perfect and full of flavour. Just as I put both of the pizzas in the oven, I heard footsteps walk in to the kitchen. I turned around to see Alice.

"You're leaving your friend by himself?" I questioned her.

"No, Jasper just needs a few minutes" She said plainly.

"A few minutes?"

"He's on the verge of having a panic attack and he just wants me to leave him for a few minutes. He's currently locked himself in the bathroom."

Alice said this with no worry, like it was a normal thing. I guess is a lot more nervous than I first thought.

"What triggered it?" I asked her and she shrugged at me sadly.

"Is he always like that?" I questioned.

"Jasper's a little... different. You have to be extremely careful around him. He's really delicate" She warned.

It's not often when you describe a male as being delicate but after viewing Jasper, I believed her. He really wasn't your average boy.

"So why you? He seems to see you as his shield" I told her.

"Oh that. That is very new. He started off avoiding me and shutting me out like he does with everyone else but I suppose he just realised that I cared about him. Nobody else seems to" She replied sadly.

I heard the sound of keys going through the door and then my husband, Carlisle walked into the house.

"Hello Carlisle. How was work?" I asked as he found me in the kitchen.

"It was Ok" He said and then looked at me, confused. "Pizza?" he questioned.

"Oh yes, we have a guest. Alice brought a friend over. A male friend" I turned to Alice at the last bit.

"Ok mum, like I said before. Jasper's too delicate so the chances of a relationship is zero. Were nothing more than friends" Alice informed.

"Wait a minute, Jasper?"Carlisle questioned. "Jasper's here?"

"You know him" I asked a little confused.

"Yes. It's that boy that me and Alice brought back here just over a week ago and ended up sending to the hospital" Carlisle explained.

So that's why I recognised him. I didn't get a good look at him that night. I only caught a glimpse of his blond locks and his shaken up thin body. I had to keep the other kids occupied while Carlisle was giving him medical attention. Carlisle said that he didn't want the others near him because he was so shy and hated the attention. And then I realised that this was the same boy that Carlisle grew overly concerned about for the past week

"So that's him?" I double checked and Alice nodded at me.

"How is he?" Carlisle asked Alice worriedly.

"He's fine dad" Alice reassured as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Maybe I should see how his ribs are healing" Carlisle thought.

It made me wonder why Carlisle was worried for this specific child. He was a doctor and every patient was important to him but it was Jasper that frustrated him. All Carlisle did tell me was that 'he doubts that the boy is being treated the way he should'. He was probably sugar coating it as he knows how I feel about badly treated children. That's why me and Carlisle adopted the ones that were desperately in need of love and care and now they're almost adults in their late teens with a happy life.

"Woah, no way dad, it will freak him out. Can't it wait?" she pleaded.

Carlisle sighed at her and looked at me.

"He does look a little nervous" I admitted.

"Alright" he nodded.

**Jasper POV **

I didn't like it here. Why did I even go? Oh right, to hang around with Alice a little longer. She was safe. As long as I'm near her, nothing will happen to me. Nobody will hurt me, _touch_ me. I shivered at the thought. I couldn't keep focused. I kept seeing _him_. The images, the memories. They weren't going away. I tried to push them to the back of my head but they kept coming back at me full force.

"Jazz?"

I looked at Alice and she was looking at my hands as they struggled to write. I saw that they were violently shaking _again_ so I pulled my long sleeves over them to keep them hidden.

"I'm fine" I mumble as I continued to write out my biology course work.

"No you're not. You're not comfortable here are you?" she asked with concern.

I'm not comfortable anywhere. I didn't answer her but I continued to write.

"We can cut it short if you want. I can tell my mum that you didn't want to stay too long and that you had somewhere to be" She offered.

I shook my head at her. If I leave, I'll be on my own again. I _needed_ her. She'll protect me. She'll keep me safe. I didn't want to go. Jesus, what was this girl doing to me?

_I am pinned down on the bed, on my stomach. I am just 9 years of age, too young to beat the strength of my father who was painfully inserting himself into me. I screamed in agony and tears fall from my face. My father hates a coward. He moves faster, punishing me for the noise._

"Jazz, you're doing it again. You keep zoning out on me. What's going on?" Alice asked.

I looked at her, thankful that I was back in the present.

It still happens in the present, I'm just older with no excuse for my weakness. I'm sick. I let it happen. I'm so sick and filthy. If Alice ever finds out, she'll help me kill myself. She wouldn't want to hang around with me. She'll say its incest. She'll say that I deserve all the pain that I'm going through. She will think I'm gay. I guess my father was raising me as one. He said that girls always end up doing something wrong and hurt you. They all do. Just like mother did to him. As long as Alice doesn't find out, she won't hurt me in any way.

"Jasper please say something" she said.

Her voice made me flinch. What the hell? Seriously Whitlock, what the fuck is wrong with you? If you keep making yourself look like a freak, she won't come near you anymore. Then who will protect you?

"I, er..." I was unsure of what I should say but I didn't want to speak because I was doing my best to keep my breathing under control.

I couldn't have another panic attack in front of her so I rushed out of the door and when into their bathroom, locking the door behind me. I sunk down wrapping my arms around my legs with my chin resting on my knees. I took a few deep breaths as I heard Alice sit by the other side of the door.

"Jazz?"

"I'm fine" I mumbled.

"That's what you said earlier" she stated.

"Just need a few minutes. Need to erm... calm a little" I reassured her.

"Ok, Jasper. I understand. I'll give you some time" she said sweetly and I was sure that I heard her walk away.

_Walk away. My mother walked away._

_7 years old and to me, my life was normal. I was just sitting at the table with my colouring pencils, drawing pictures although I couldn't concentrate properly. I looked up to see my mother and father arguing._

"_I can't believe the whore you're turning into! Look at yourself you disgusting piece of shit" My father yelled at her._

"_You can't blame me for doing what I did. You stopped loving me years ago!" She screamed back._

"_And I'm glad I did, you cheating bitch!" he yelled._

"_Mummy, daddy please stop!" I cried. I had never heard them argue before and this seemed like a bad one. _

_I didn't understand the term 'cheating' back then. Only when somebody doesn't follow the rules of the game but I knew that wasn't it._

"_Shut up you little brat. You're not even supposed to be here. You were the biggest mistake me and your mother ever made" he shouted angrily at me._

"_How could you say such a thing to him?" my mother said._

"_Don't tell me what to do you slut" My father shouted at her._

"_I am absolutely sick of this language. Jasper come here, were leaving" My mother stated._

"_Oh no you're not" he said as he stood by the door. "Jasper, get here now" he demanded. _

_I started to get a little scared. My father had never said anything cruel to me and now he was shouting. He was just angry. He'll apologise once he calms down, I reassured myself._

"_NOW!" he screamed. _

_I quickly rushed over to him and as soon as I was close enough, he lifted me up by my shirt and pinned me to the wall with a knife at my neck._

"_Sit the fuck down or I will slit his throat" He threatened deeply._

"_Please don't" my mother cried._

_At that, the knife was touching my throat enough to make it bleed a little and I cried a little more._

"_I said do it" He demanded._

_My mother hurried to the sofa and my father used one hand to wrap around my waist and the other still held the knife at me neck._

"_You aren't leaving with him" My father said calmly. "You can either stay and be with him and go with the safer option, or get the fuck out of my house leaving this cunt behind. Now before you make your choice, I'll give you a little preview of Jaspers life without his mummy"_

_At that he carried me to the other sofa and laid me there and then turned back to my mother._

"_You move, and I'll cut him" He warned her. _

_He turned back to me and started to take my clothes off._

"_Daddy what are you doing?" I asked confused as he removed my shirt._

"_What the fuck is wrong with you" my mother screamed in realisation in what he was doing._

_She started to get up from the sofa but from that movement, my father grabbed the knife and made a 4 inch diagonal cut across my stomach._

"_I told you not to move" he yelled and she sat back down crying._

_He then removed my trousers. And then my pants. I felt cold and extremely confused now. Whatever he was planning on doing, he had never done it before. That's when he started to touch me down there._

"_Daddy?" I questioned. I was very unsure if this was normal or not._

"_Shut up" he demanded and I obeyed him and let him continue whatever it was he was doing._

"_Please stop. He didn't do anything wrong" my mother begged._

_My father grabbed the knife again and made a cut just below my waist. Just above the area he was touching earlier. I screamed out in pain again._

"_Daddy please stop" I begged._

_Blood was falling heavily from both of my cuts and I started to feel dizzy. My father started to unzip his jeans and pulled out something that I was sure I wasn't supposed to be seeing so I looked away. He grabbed my hair and shoved it in my face._

"_Open your fucking mouth" he ordered._

_I did so as I didn't want him cutting me again. He inserted himself into my mouth and was pulling my hair backwards and forwards over and over again. His hips started to copy the movement and I heard my mother cry behind me. He seemed to be doing this for a while until I felt something strange in my mouth and it made me choke. After that, he released my hair and pushed my naked body back on the sofa and turned to my mother._

"_You still wanna leave? Because I could do that all day everyday to him. He's a natural." He joked sickly._

Actually, I suppose he wasn't joking. He did start to do it to me every day because I had no idea what he was doing was wrong. It was my first sex education lesson at school when I first got suspicious and ever since, he beats me until I'm too weak to fight it and now he inserts himself inside me at least once a week and touches me sexually almost every day. He even forces me to touch him sexually but the only thing that goes through my mind is 'she left'.

My mother left me with him. She chose a new life without me rather than one with me. Who am I kidding? I am Jasper Whitlock. The kid that nobody takes notice of. The kid that is full of filth. The kid that deserves the pain my father gives me. The worst part is my mother didn't even go to the police to tell them about him. My father moved house as soon as she left. From Texas to this shithole called Forks.

I lowered the waistband of my trousers a little to view the scar that my father did to me 10 years ago. I just felt a few tears full from my eyes. Oh great. So now here I am, 17 years old and I'm crying. Why am I such a coward. What would Alice think of me if she saw me in this state? I need to man up. I need to take the pain.

_Take the pain_

I remembered that I still have my pocket knife in my pocket. I pulled it out and pressed down over the old scar and reopened it. Just a little reminder of the day when I turned into a sick freak. It really hurt but I did my best to ignore it. I moved on to my wrist but before I pressed the sharp object into my skin, I stopped to think. Why the fuck was I cutting myself in somebody house? It just didn't feel right. I chose to stop and leave it until I get home. I put the knife back in my pocket and sighed at myself. Why were all these memories coming back to me? This was the same flashback that I had when I was walking with Alice not so long ago. What was happening to me.

I put some tissue over the fresh injury hoping that the blood would stop pouring soon. Alice might get suspicious. Speaking of Alice I could hear her sit by the door again.

"Are you Ok Jazz?" She asked quietly.

I removed the tissue from my waist and flushed it down the toilet and washed m face so that there were no obvious signs that I had been crying. After I dried my face I opened the door and Alice stood up.

"I'm alright" I reassured her and forced a smile.

She didn't look convinced.

"My mum has made homemade pizza and had just finished cooking it. Will you be Ok to sit at the table with the others?" she asked.

No. I would not be Ok. Her biggest brother literally gives me the shakes. His size scares me as well as his loud voice. Her smaller brother keeps giving me weird looks and makes me feel uncomfortable and the sister? I am not too keen on her either. There is something about that girl. It's like she has me all figured out and I was worried that maybe, just maybe she knew exactly what was going on. Alice's dad only suspected the physical abuse. Which brings me to the biggest problem. Carlisle. He knows who I am. He called social services and he is too suspicious for my liking.

"It would really help with your social skills" Alice pointed out.

I couldn't care less about me social skills. They aren't good for a reason.

"I'll sit with you" she tried again.

I couldn't say no to that. I guess Alice is worth the risk.

"Stay with me" I whispered uncomfortably.

She smiled and took my hand in hers. I loved it when she did that. I have never felt physical contact so comforting other than when Alice touches my hand. It's like a safety rope pulling me away from danger.

She's my angel taking me away from hell.

**So a little inside with Jasper there. I just want to confirm with you guys that it was the second flash back (7 year old Jasper) that happened walking to the house with Alice. It just kinda repeated in the bathroom.**

**This Chapter was a lot longer than I thought (MY LONGEST CHAPTER EVER!) so I'm happy about that because you reviewers really deserve it. Also, Because I'm in such a rush in updating, I haven't had a read through so excuse any mistakes if there are any. I will corrected them as soon as possible. I am not sure when I will be reviewing again but maybe the amount of reviews will help me make up my mind (hint hint). **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello again guys. Sorry for the wait, I just haven't found the time to update. I haven't even wrote this chapter down, it's pretty much all going to come out of my head because I'm so eager to update so if it's a bad chapter, please let me know so I know that typing up chapters purely from my head is a bad Idea. Also, yesterday I noted out where I want my story to go and I have at least 7 chapters left. I might have a lot more than that because my ideas seem to come from nowhere so to be honest, I'm still unsure how far through the story I am. I am aiming to finish this story by the 5****th**** of November because after that I will definitely be unreliable to update as the new Call of Duty Ghosts is coming out and because I am such an addict to CoD, I would probably forget about this story for a while so hopefully I would finish by then therefore updates should be sooner again (Give me a few days and then I will focus as much as possible on the story. I promise!)**

**Warning: Another triggering chapter with occasional swearwords.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. Never have and never will. **

**Edward's POV**

I didn't like him.

I don't know why but I feel hatred towards him. I'm usually a really understanding person but I can't stand Jasper. He was just so... quiet. So hidden. So... attached to my sister. Maybe that's why I hated him. He was using her as a shield and it annoys me because it makes Alice think that he likes her. She likes him. A lot. I just wish that she could see that he isn't capable of handling friendship very well. Meaning it would be pretty much impossible if Alice was planning on becoming more than 'just friends' with him. It would break her heart when she finds out that he never even considered her a friend. That she was just somebody that was there to speak for him. I just wanted to walk up to him and tell him to back away from her but I know Alice would hate that. She told us to stay away from him because of his pathetic unsocial life and ridiculous mental breakdowns.

There was another reason I hated him. Not only was Alice constantly talking and thinking about him, but even my dad, Carlisle seemed less focused on us. The routine use to be, he goes to work and when he finishes his shift he'll go home and socialise with us children. You know, the typical helping us with homework, giving us advice and maybe playing some sort of sport with me and Emmett. But lately, he has been stuck in his study stressing out over Jasper for some reason that he hasn't shared with us. To me, Jasper is just a burden to everybody. A nobody that Alice is just wasting her time with. I admit that at first, he seemed Ok. He was making Alice happy so that made me happy but now I have seen the way he looks at Alice. The way that he acts around her, differently to when he is on his own. It actually pisses me off to know that he is just using her.

"Hey dude you suck at 'Search and Destroy'. You only have one life so use it preciously" Emmett complained.

Me and Em were in his room playing Modern Warfare 3 on Xbox and he was kicking my ass along with everyone else on his team.

"Can't we just play a normal game? You know, Team death match so I can die as much as I want" I asked.

"Eddie, First of its 'TDM', nobody calls it team death match anymore. And second... No. You act like a smartass so play like a smart ass" Emmett chuckled.

"Well _Emmy,_ I am only a smart ass at things that will actually get me somewhere in life. Becoming a total noob on some game that you miraculously respawn at after dying nineteen thousand times isn't going to get me anywhere" I pointed out.

"Exactly" He smiled.

"What do you mean 'exactly'?" I questioned him.

"Well now you are complaining that this game is unrealistic because you have countless lives. We are playing 'Search and Destroy' which only gives you one life like you would get if you were to join the army or something. Joining the Army will get me somewhere in life" He said. My brother was such an idiot.

"Emmett. Call of Duty is nothing like the army in the real world" I said to him slowly.

I swear the kid was hit in the head as a child. That or somebody drilled right through his brain.

"But the army still uses guns to kill people right?" he asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at him and we focused back on the game.

"Boys, dinner is ready" Esme informed as she walked into Emmett's room.

"K" Emmett said while he eyes were glued to the screen as if he were being hypnotised.

I reached over and switched the Xbox off mid game.

"What did you do that for, I was planting the bomb" Emmet said annoyed.

"Dinner. Ready." I said as I got up and went to walk down the stairs when I noticed Alice sitting by the bathroom door.

I raised my eyebrow at her, giving her a questioning expression. She gave me a hard look in the eye, pointed her finger at me and then to the stairs as if to tell me to go away. She then raised her eyebrows, daring me to not listen but I'm smart enough to give my sister space. Why was she sitting by the bathroom door anyway? I bet Jasper had something to do with it. I trotted down the stairs, walked in the kitchen and sat at the table viewing two big pizza's in the centre. Emmet came down next and sat next to me. He went to grab a slice when Esme stopped him.

"Wait for everyone to be seated before eating, Emmett. Will I always have to remind you?" She asked.

"Sorry mum, It just smells so good" He grinned.

"What do you expect? Mum made it" I added smiling at Esme and she smiled back.

"Ass licker" Emmett whispered to me.

Carlisle took a seat after setting the glasses and pouring pineapple juice in them.

Rosalie then walked in and stood in the doorway with a confused look on her face.

"Where's 'Shyboy'?" She asked.

"With his girlfriend" Emmet laughed.

"Who was sitting in front of the bathroom door" I added.

"Leave them alone boys. Alice said that there was nothing going on between them" Esme stated.

"Doesn't mean it's true" Emmett mumbled.

"Jasper doesn't see her that way Emmett, even though Alice has some huge crush on him" I told him.

"And how do you know? Have you been inside his head or something" Rosalie said, sitting on the chair on the other side of Emmett.

"No but it's obvious. Alice is just Jasper's security shield. He doesn't see her in any other way. Not even in friendship" I explained, speaking my mind from earlier.

"Bull" Emmet said.

"Language Emmett" Carlisle interrupted. "I'm sure that Jasper does see her as a good friend. Jasper's just a little... edgy. Once he gets use to her and eventually you lot, he'll open up" he explained.

"Eventually" Rosalie mumbled.

Just then, we heard the sound of two sets of feet coming down the stairs and then we saw Alice walk in to the kitchen room with Jasper close behind her hand in hand. Boy, is she in for a heartbreak once she finds out that the hand holding meant nothing to him.

She took a seat letting go of his hand. Jasper looked a little nervous at the action but slowly sat down next to her. Alice kicked me under the table and that was when I noticed that I was glaring at him. It's a good job that he is doing his best to avoid eye contact with any of us because that would have definitely freaked him out. I wouldn't care about Jasper but I knew that if he did freak, Alice wouldn't talk to me for a long time.

"So...can we start now" Emmett said eagerly.

"Yes you can" Esme confirmed.

At that, Emmett dug in, picking a slice of pepperoni pizza and putting it on his plate followed by a cheese and tomato but he ate that one straight away. I also grabbed a slice of each, putting them on my plate. I noticed Alice look at Jasper and then nodded to the pizza's in the middle of the table. So now Jasper won't do anything unless Alice tells him to. Is she his mum now? He cautiously grabbed a cheese and tomato pizza slice and carefully put it on his plate but then he just seemed to look at it like he didn't know what to do with it. I know the kid is a skinny little fucker but surely he knows how to eat.

"It's Ok Jazz, you are allowed to eat it" Alice whispered so quietly that I only just managed to hear her.

He looked at her and then back at the slice in front of him. He slowly picked it up and then took the smallest bite out of it and put it back down again. Seriously? Does he have anorexia or something? Actually that would explain a lot. People with eating disorders do tend to cover themselves up, hiding every part of their body. I decided to focus back onto my own meal, biting down on my second slice of pizza. Emmett was already on his 3rd. He could literally eat a horse if you put it right there in front of him. If I described what my brother eats to somebody that had never met him, you would picture some fat dude who weighs more pounds than I have in cash (which my family have a lot of) but although he is extremely heavy, it is all muscle. When he first joined our family, the first time he got grounded was for giving somebody a broken nose after being asked if he was on steroids. I still laugh at that.

Once both pizza's were eaten up, Carlisle started to collect the plates.

"Jasper, are you sure you don't want me to cook you something else, you haven't eaten much" Esme asked.

He shook his head at her and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

Great, now he was worrying Esme. Why couldn't Jasper just be normal? Why couldn't he leave my family out of the stupid issues that he had?

"I'm going back to my room" I said plainly.

"It's your turn to wash the dishes tonight" Esme reminded.

"Can't I do them later" I asked. Maybe when the freak goes home I silently added.

"It's Ok mum, me and Jazz will do it" Alice volunteered.

See what I mean? He was definitely intruding our lives and I hated it. I wish that he would just hurry back home.

**Jasper POV**

"Here's the towel, just dry the things as I give them to you" Alice instructed.

We were the only ones left in the kitchen and I was helping Alice wash up.

"You don't mind doing this, do you?" She asked unsure.

I gave her a small smile and took one of the soapy plates from her to dry.

"Jasper?"

I just shrugged at her. I would do anything to hang out here longer. I am absolutely dreading going back home but I will have to go back at some point today.

"Didn't I tell you how much I hate you shrugging" Alice reminded.

I continued to the dry the plate ignoring Alice. I wasn't being rude, I just had so much on my mind right now. Bad things on my mind. Things that is bound to set off another panic attack if I don't keep focused on hiding them. I couldn't help the thought of my mother leaving me with him, my father becoming what he is and him making me become a teen of filth.

I put the dry plate away in the cupboard that Alice showed me and then grabbed a glass and started to dry that too.

The cut on my waist still hurt. It was a good thing that my trousers were black because the area was damp due to the cut still bleeding and the trousers were soaking it up. My father would kill me if he finds out that I cut myself again. It would be disobeying his rules and if I disobey him, he would... wait, don't think about it Whitlock. You'll send yourself into another breakdown.

But he _would_ find out. As soon as I get back, he would want to strip me and have his way with me for not coming straight home and he would hurt me even more when he see's my self inflicted cuts when he clearly told me yesterday 'no more cutting'. But it's so hard. It's like sobering up after years of being a druggy. Cutting myself was my only way in relieving myself. Even thinking about it made me want to grab the knife that Alice was just washing up and putting a huge cut in my wrists. Does she know about it? When she saw my topless body, did she see my wrists? I hope not. She'll hate me once she finds out.

_When he found out_

"_What the fuck is this?" My father screamed as he took my shirt off._

_My 12 year old body shook with fear. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. I got angry and I didn't want to break anything". I explained quietly._

"_So you thought you should cut yourself? Doing that could kill you and if you're dead, I have no body to fuck" He screamed._

"_I learnt the other day that it was wrong" I whispered_

"_Learnt what?" he demanded._

"_At school, we had a lesson about sex education and they said that nobody should touch you down there unless you're Ok with it" I mumbled, afraid of his reaction._

"_You're a male whore, of course you're Ok with it. You love it when I suck you off. I bet you even enjoy it when I shove my cock in you although you cry like a 3 year old" He said, his anger rising a little._

"_They said family shouldn't touch children that way. They said that you make us feel like you love us but you don't" I whispered again._

_He slapped me across the face and as weak as I was, it knocked me to the ground. _

"_How dare you tell me what I can and can't do. I own you and I do whatever I want with you" he screamed at me. _

_Tears started to form in my eyes and then he kicked me in the stomach. He crouched down and lifted up my head by my hair._

"_If I tell you what to do, you do it, Understand?"_

_I nodded quickly at him._

"_Then get up and take all of your clothes off" my father demanded._

"_Please" I cried._

"_Do it otherwise I will tie you up and fuck you twice as hard without preparation" He shouted._

_I took all my clothes off and followed him into his room. He then grabbed my hand and wrapped it around his area down below, forcing my hands to go with the back and forth movement. He soon let go._

"_Don't stop" He warned so I didn't._

_I whimpered as he started making the same movement with my own area and he started to moan. It made me a little nervous but it was nothing with what was about to come. He stopped and pulled away from me, heading into one of his drawers._

"_I brought these today while you were at school" He grinned pulling out a box._

_He opened the box pulling out a few sex toys. Fuck no. I started to panic and he made his way over to me with two different objects in his hands. The first were hand cuffs. I backed away but he grabbed me instantly and cuffed one of my badly cut wrist. He cuffed the other to the bed._

"_Now try to stop me" He whispered as he crushed his lips onto mine._

_I felt so sick and filthy. Why was he doing this to m? _

_He then grabbed the second object which appeared to be a ball which he wrapped around my mouth. At least he wouldn't kiss me again._

"_Get ready my little slut" He whispered as he poked his fingers in to me and started to move them around. Almost too instantly, he pulled them out and inserted something much bigger into me and I cried out in pain. He rammed himself straight inside until he was fully in before pulling out and back in again. He was being too rough and it hurt so badly. I was screaming out in pain although the ball in my mouth stopped my scream being as loud as it would have been. My father leans across so that his head is by mine._

"_I will always own you Jasper. Nobody else" He groaned and then he bit down on my neck drawing blood instantly. Tears flooded my eyes and going by the pain, I could tell that the bite mark will scar. That was the day I first wanted to kill myself._

"Jasper!"

When I feel Alice shaking my shoulders, I know that I am back in the present.

I flinch, a little nervous at how close she was to me. I look around and thankfully it was still just me and her.

"Breath Jazz"

I do as she tells me and take deep breathes. I look down and then I noticed the shattered glass on the floor.

"I'm so sorry" I panicked.

"No Jazz, I don't care about the glass, I care about you. What happened? You were having another flash back weren't you?" she guessed.

I had no Idea how she figured it out but I didn't care. I needed to clean up the mess. If Mrs or Dr Cullen sees this, they'll hurt me and Alice won't be able to stop them because parents overpower their children.

I crouched down by the glass and started to pick it up with my hands, ignoring the pain of the sharp object cutting into my skin. The pain wasn't anything knew.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" She gasped.

"Need to pick up all the pieces. If somebody steps in and gets cut, your parents will be angry with me" I mumbled as I continued to pick them up.

"No Jazz, stop it" She demanded.

"Can't"

"Jasper, not with your hands" Alice said as she crouched by me.

"I have to" I mumbled.

"No"

"They can't be angry" I whispered.

She touched my wrist.

"Jazz they won't be angry, it's just a glass" she said pleadingly.

I looked at her and then back down at the glass again.

"I need to clean it up" I said quietly.

She sighed at me.

"No you don't. Since when did you start picking glass up with your fingers?" She asked worriedly.

Since my father gave me nothing else to clean up with. Every glass bottle thrown at me, every mirror smashed, my father would just drag me to the broken object and tell me to clean it up. Why didn't Alice want me to clean it up that way? I always did it like that. With my unanswered question Alice sighed at me.

"Get up Jasper, I need to take you to my dad" She said.

Oh hell no. Not him. He'll question me. He'll want to stick his nose in my business. He'll want to find out the sick truth of who I really am.

"No" I stated a little angrily.

"Jasper, that hand needs to be looked at" she said.

"Don't care"

"Please Jasper"

"No, I'll go home now. My father will take me to the hospital" I lied.

It's a safer option though. My father will do worse things to me if Dr Cullen ever finds out about me and my father.

"No. I'm not letting you go until those hands have been looked at. Not to mention that you dug your nails in your palms again" Alice reminded.

Who cares about some nail marks when I'm currently hiding a fucking bite mark that my father gave me 5 years ago.

"I can call him right now" she challenged.

I looked behind me at the door. I could bolt.

"Don't even think about it Jasper" she warned. I hated that tone. It was the only time she ever sounded like him.

Oh now I really feel like slitting my wrists. How could I even compare Alice to that sick bastard.

"My dad is a good person Jasper, he is just worried about you"

She's not going to give up. I decided to just give in.

"He is going to treat me hands and only my hands" I said.

"Deal" she said back.

**Damn it took me ages writing this out. So considering that I just typed it out as it went through my mind, how did you think it was?**

**PLEASE READ**

**AN- I would just like to point out that even though Edward is being a total douche bag to Jasper, and is judging our Jasper wrongly, he actually sees the relationship of Jasper and Alice correctly. Alice thinks Jasper sees her as a friend, Idiotic Emmett thinks that Jasper has a huge crush on her but the intelligent Edward knows that at the moment, Alice is just Jasper's security blanket.**

**This story is actually bringing out my confidence in writing graphic sexual stuff. I never actually thought I would write it so detailed.**

**One more thing- Review. The sooner the review, the sooner the update! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok, updates should come in quicker from today as I now have nothing else better to do. This chapter isn't as good as my last two, neither is as long but from now on I am aiming for at least 2000 words per chapter because looking back at my first fanfic, 1000 words just isn't long enough. Thank you for the reviews so far. I always begin with just one review on my first chapter but once the story had developed, the reviews become more popular so thank you for that.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own da twilight saga**

**Jasper POV**

"Keep calm Jazz" Alice reminded me as she knocked on her father's study door.

Almost instantly, Dr Cullen was at the door. I would have covered my hand with my sleeve but that would have been difficult since Alice had her hands round my wrist. She thought that holding my hand would hurt but she doesn't even know about the painful markings on my wrist that she was putting slight pressure on.

"Oh, hello Alice, Jasper" he said as he looked at Alice a little curiously before taking a quick glance at me. I looked at the ground, shifting a little closer to Alice.

"Hey dad, Jasper needs you to look at his hands, they are bleeding a bit too much as he accidentally cut them open" Alice informed.

"Both of them?" Dr Cullen questioned as he widened the door, allowing us in. Alice stepped in his study pulling me with her.

"Show him Jazz" she told me as she let go of my wrist and made eye contact with me. I pulled my sleeved over my hand in an attempt to hide them.

Dr Cullen looked at me expectantly and I began to feel my heart beat faster. I looked behind me at the door that was now closed and thought about making a run for it.

"Jazz" she warned.

I looked back at her shifting uncomfortable and she gave me one of her sympathetic looks. I hated it when she did that. I don't experience that look very often. She then nodded at me slightly with encouragement and I looked to the ground whilst revealing my hands at the same time. How does she convince me like that?

With an instant, Dr Cullen took one of my hands and lifted it up to his eye level not surprised at my flinching. I hope he doesn't role down my sleeve to see if I have cut my wrists since the last time he saw me. Especially not in front of Alice.

"How did you do this?" he asked.

"Jasper dropped one of the glasses, but he picked the pieces up with his hands" Alice informed him.

I got a little nervous and tensed. I was going to get punished. I broke one of the Cullen's glasses and I was not going to get away with that.

_I was lying on the floor with glass cuts all around my body .He threw bottles at me; Glass alcohol bottles. My father doesn't even drink. He works at a bar, thinking that bringing home empty beer bottles would be great entertainment for punishment. He kept throwing them until I was knocked out. _

"_Clear this shit up right now" He yelled at me once I regained consciousness._

"_What with?" I questioned, afraid._

"_What do you mean what with? With your fingers. What are you? Retarded? Actually don't answer that" he muttered._

_I knew what happens when I disobey him so I began to pick up to pieces with one hand and pile them in the other. I kept feeling a sharp pain every time I picked up one of the smaller pieces but I carried on none the less._

"Jasper?" I heard Dr Cullen call.

I looked back up at him, afraid at the punishment that was coming.

"Are you feeling alright? Are you feeling dizzy? Blood loss can do that to you" He questioned me, clearly unaware about my short flashback.

I shook my head rapidly. My father always beats me when I show weakness and it would be humiliating if Dr Cullen hurts me or even worse _touches _me in front of Alice. She would be disgusted of me.

"Why were you picking glass up with your hands?" he asked.

I tried to relax a little but now my body was shaking. Not again. Please not now. Breathe Whitlock breathe. He is more likely to strike me if I show weakness. Suddenly, my legs went all numb and they couldn't carry any more weight. I collapsed and then it all went black.

_~You're a useless piece of shit~_

_~If you were no good for fucking, I would have killed you by now~_

_~Look at you, you filthy, dirty male whore~_

I felt a hand against my cheek. Usually, it would be a hit but this was a gentle touch. It was a large masculine hand so it wasn't the angel, Alice.

"Jasper?" I heard a voice speak calmly. It was Dr Cullen.

I blinked a few times as I opened my eyes. I looked around me and noticed that Dr Cullen had one of his arms wrapped around my back to keep me from laying on the ground. The other was now resting on my forehead. I am feeling extremely uncomfortable right now but it was unusual. This was the closest a person has been to me without hurting me.

"Alice, can you get him some water please" Dr Cullen requested.

She nodded at him and left the room. I looked at Dr Cullen and he must have noticed my panicked expression because he loosened his grip on me and I backed up against the wall.

"You were out for about a minute. It might have been the lack of blood but it could have also been due to lack of energy" He told me.

"I have been eating much better" I lied. Actually, if anything, I've got worse, and my father has nothing to do with it. Maybe I could slowly starve to death so I wouldn't have to live any more.

He looked at me as if he were trying to search for the truth. I really didn't like him. He was too observant.

"Well let me treat your hands before you lose anymore blood" He suggested ad he neared me again.

He crouched down to my level after grabbing a tweezer like object. He picked up my left hand and started to look through it carefully with his eyes. After looking at the third cut, he pocked the object in to my skin, pulling out a piece of glass.

"Fortunately, I don't think that stitches are necessary although this hand will have to be bandaged up for a few days".

I was glad to know that hospital wasn't needed. I wouldn't have gone anyway because I would have bolted through the door. Dr Cullen took my right hand and observed that too.

"This one looks better but I will still bandage it up so that it will heal quicker" He informed.

I nodded at him as he got up and grabbed a few bandages, cotton wool and a bottle of disinfectant. He then crouched down by me again.

"This may hurt a little" he warned.

He damped the wool with the disinfectant and then placed it over my cuts. It stung like a bitch although I did my best to hide it. He then did my other hand which felt just as bad.

"That's the painful part over" he smiled at me.

He then opened up one of the bandages and wrapped it securely around my left hand. He started to do the same to my right one when he started to speak.

"How are things back at home Jasper?" He asked concerned.

I didn't answer

"I have been a Dr for many years Jasper, I can tell when somebody is hiding something"

Not this again. Hurry up Alice, you promised me he would only look at my hand.

"My life is how it should be" I mumbled.

That was no lie either. I don't deserve a life of love and care if there is such thing.

"And what do you mean by 'how it should be'" He questioned.

This was like being back with the social worker which reminded me...

"You called Social services on my father" I stated, not answering his question.

He sighed at me.

"Jasper...

"My father doesn't do anything wrong to me" I interrupted, my voice sounding louder than I intended. "I already told you that"

Just then, Alice walked in with a glass of water in her hand. She looked around the room and she noticed me leaning against the wall glaring at her father. She gave him a pleading look and then she walked up to me and passed me the glass. I took it with my bandaged hand. Thankfully, my fingers weren't covered so I was able to hold it. Dr Cullen seemed to go a little quiet but that only comforted me a little bit.

"I'd like to go home now" I said calmly.

Dr Cullen looked rather hesitant as he spoke "You can stay longer if you want to Jasper, you're welcome here"

"I appreciate the offer sir, but I just want to go home" I repeated.

Carlisle sighed at me as I stood up and Alice neared me.

"You can come round again tomorrow if you want to" Alice offered.

I smiled at her, thankful for the request but it would all depend on my punishment tonight. I know that my father would do his best to keep me from going. Even if it means making me stay at home for the day. _A whole day of him and my body, just like it was before._ I won't abandon Alice just yet. It's because of her why my punishments are reduced._ It's also because of her why I'm still living this shitty life. _I have to say, I absolutely hate her for doing that.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be alive.

**Carlisle POV **

I'm not a self loather but right now, I really hate myself. I hated the fact that there was nothing I could do for Jasper. I can't do anything unless he tells me everything that he is so obviously hiding. Seeing his wrecked body was enough to tell me that something wasn't right but if social services hasn't done anything yet, then I was sure that they haven't looked deep enough into the case. There is definitely abuse going on here. I was sure of it. He was clearly being starved. It was also clear to me that Jasper himself, was a self hater. The cuts on his arm had told me enough but when he said that life at home 'Is how it should be', I was sure that it was code for 'I deserve being abused'. His father must have said terrible things to him to make him hate himself so much. He just looks so broken and fragile. It makes me want to scream at his father and question him into why he would destroy such a child. I just wish that Jasper would open up to me. What if he thinks that because I play the role of a father, I would hurt him in the same way? I wanted to hold him hostage and refuse to give him back to the so called father but I knew that it would be classed as kidnap so for now I would have to respect Jasper's wishes in going home. But I am not giving up until I get to the bottom of this.

This isn't over Jasper, just hang in there.

**Sorry for the short POV of Carlisle, I just wrote that because if I didn't, you would all hate him. I just wanted to show that he really is doing all he can but can't exactly do much about it. He is obviously certain about physical abuse, but the sexual side of it is yet to be discovered.**

**Another thing, I have wrote a preview for another Jalice story but it's all Vampire. It's not completely like this story but it does yet again include a self-harming Jasper if you want to check that out. I will be updating the second chapter once I have completed this story and **_**If **_**there is still time before November. The more reviews, the quicker the updates!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Quick update wasn't it. Just a thank you to all of my reviewers. There's a surprise coming your way!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or our very poor Jasper**

**Jasper POV**

I walked through the door, into the hell house that I lived in and silently shut it behind me. Hopefully I would be able to sneak upstairs into my room without him noticing. The house seemed so quiet which made me rather curious. He didn't go out because his car was still in the drive way unless he walked which wasn't often. I carefully poked my head into the main room to find it empty. Where was he? I didn't see him when I sneaked past the kitchen so I lightly went up the stairs heading to my room when suddenly, there was a hand wrapped round my mouth and I was being dragged away, into my father's room. He threw me onto the floor, banging my head against it.

"Where the fuck have you been?" my father yelled angrily at me.

He crouched down and grabbed me by my hair.

"Answer me you little prick!" he demanded as his grip tightened.

"Ah, please... stop" I begged.

"Where. Were. You" He said slowly yet harshly. Then he noticed the bandages on my hands.

"What the fuck is this? Have you been to the fucking hospital?" he questioned demandingly.

"No, I swear. Please don't hurt me" I pleaded.

"I will do more than fucking hurt you now answer my question!" He yelled as he let go of my hair.

He took of his belt and hit me with it. I felt like I was burning every time it hit my skin but I knew he wouldn't stop until I answered his questions.

"A friend. I went round my friends and I got hurt. I swear it's the truth. Please stop" I cried.

He stopped whipping me but he didn't put the belt back on which usually leads to one sick thing that he always has in mind.

"Wow. Jasper the pathetic boy made a friend. Let me guess. He's blind, mentally ill, retarded. Am I close?" He laughed.

I flinched as he neared me. He crouched down by me again and his face was extremely close to mine. He roughly ripped off my bandages and began to speak.

"You listen carefully you little brat, you are not to go anywhere after school but home. Actually, you know what? Fuck school, you're not going. Ever again" he added.

"But social services said..."

"Fuck social service, were moving back to Texas" he interrupted.

What? No! I didn't want to move there again. I wanted to stay here. I wanted to see Alice again. If I move, nobody will protect me from the world.

"No" I mumbled

"What did you just say?" he questioned.

Shit. How could I be so freaking stupid?

Next thing I know, he has his hands to my throat against a wall and I am struggling to breathe. I start to cough but he doesn't care.

"I make the orders around here, not you!" he yelled then threw me on the bed.

He got on top of me and tied the belt around my neck. I hated it when he tried my method. He would tighten it every time I disobeyed him.

"Take your fucking clothes of you skinny piece of shit" he demanded.

I did so quickly although it was difficult when you're being half strangled. As I removed my boxers, there was a sudden tug at my neck.

"You have been cutting yourself again?" He asked angrily as he saw the reopened scar just above my area. "I knew you were a weakling. You're pathetic" he said disgusted.

He then put his mouth right by my ear and whispered "If you feel the need to be punished, just come to me. I wouldn't mind sticking my cock into you, my little slut. I bet that's why you're disobeying me. You just love me inside of you Jasper. Well today is another one of your many lucky days"

He pulled away from my ear but then pressed his lips onto my mouth, trying to fit his tongue inside. When I refused to open up, he yanked on the belt around my neck and I was forced to give him the pleasure of sticking his tongue down my throat. Still unhappy with my lack of movement, he started to finger the bloody scar, digging his nails into it. The only way in making him stop was to join in on the mouthing movement. I felt so sick. So wrong. The fingers that were digging into my wound had now headed down south as he started masturbate me. My area betrayed me and grew at the movement. I wanted to die right then. I wanted my father to tighten to grip on the belt even more until I eventually stopped breathing. He started to moan as he forcefully kissed me deeper and tightened the grip he had on me which was now starting to feel painful. Finally he stopped but that wasn't a good thing because now something a lot worse was coming.

He pulled on the belt to drag me in an easy position for him and suddenly, he unexpectedly forced himself straight into me. Keyword there was _straight._ He gave me no preparation at all and to top it off, he was going so fast and powerful and I started to scream as tears pour from my eyes.

"Stop fucking screaming" he panted but I couldn't stop.

I had never felt so much pain in my entire abusive life and he just wouldn't stop. My voice went dead silent as he pulled on the belt so tightly my vocal chords refused to make a single noise. He continued pushing into me but my vision started to blur and now I was struggling to hear my father groaning. My neck was hurting and I felt my face going blue. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

Is my father finally going to do the right thing and finish me off?

My blurred vision was no longer blurred. It was just a plain shade of black and there was nothing but silence.

**Alice POV**

The beach is such a beautiful place to hangout. It's just so peaceful. But sitting here reminds me of the first time that I found this place. When I first saw a person try to end their life only to find out that it was just an innocent boy who remains hidden to everyone. And now I was having strong feelings towards him. I am very confused as to why. I mean, I don't have a type but I never thought that I would be into people like him; so quiet, mysterious and troubled. My heart poured for him although I know that he doesn't feel the same way. Edward was right. I didn't see it before but now that he pointed it out, I can really see that I'm no more than just Jasper's security blanket but I don't care. He feels like he needs to be protected from the whole world therefore I shall give him what he wants. He seems like he's got nothing left in the world and I just want to give it all back to him. I just wish it was that simple.

It wasn't fully dark yet. It was dusk and it was all silent apart from the noises of the crickets. It is such a strange sound they make yet it is beautiful nonetheless. I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air. I let my ears reach for sounds that could be heard far away. A car driving past; quite fast actually almost as if the driver was trying to express their anger with the noise of their engine. Birds, the ones that are returning to their nest to sleep and warm their eggs. Somebody crying. Wait what? I listened more carefully sure that I was just hearing things but I heard it again. It was strange really. It wasn't the sound of a child crying and I could hear the occasional gasping for air.

If I could hear them breathing heavily, then surely that meant they were close. I got up and started to walk towards the upsetting noise and it headed into the trees nearby. It looked a lot darker now as the bushes and leaves were covering the remaining light.

I walked just a little further but then I made out a dark figure leaning against a tree. The figure looked a little taller than me but not as tall as an adult. This was a teenager.

"Hello?" I asked quietly, hoping not to startle them.

The person seemed to breath as calmly as they could in order to stop the crying and I saw the figures head move up a little. Why did this place have to be so damn dark.

"Alice?"

No. It's that troubled voice. Please not him. Why did he have to be the one yet again in pain? Why was he so upset? At that moment rushed to his side.

"Jasper, what are you doing here? What's wrong? Please tell me what's wrong" I begged as I said the words as fast as could.

As soon as I crouched next to him I was extremely surprised at his next movement. He threw his arms around me and held me close.

"Alice" he whimpered.

"It's Ok Jasper. It's all going to be Ok" I reassured, hoping that it was true.

"Please don't leave me" he begged and I could feel his tears falling down my neck as he rested his head there.

"It's alright Jazz, I'm not going anywhere. I can't leave you like this" I assured as I rubbed his bony back, feeling just how much the spine really is sticking out.

I continued to hold him close for a while as he continuously whimpered and I started to rock him back and forth to comfort him. His tears died down and now the forest was completely dark.

"What happened?" I asked gently.

"Nothing" he mumbled in my ear as he refused to let go.

"Don't lie. That definitely wasn't nothing" I pushed.

He said nothing but tightened his grip in me.

"Please tell me" I begged

He still said nothing. His head was tilted into my neck and I felt him breathing. I was thankful that the usual heavy panicking breather was now an extremely calm and gentle breather. That meant that he was relaxed which was extremely rare for him. I was debating on letting us carry on sitting here silently and let this rare moment last or push the answers out of him and make him feel uncomfortable. I chose to let him cling on to me. For now.

We sat there for about three more minutes and then my phone started to ring. I would have expected him to flinch but he didn't. In fact he didn't do anything. When I really listened to the rate of his breathing, I realised why he sounded so calm.

He was sleeping.

I had made him feel so comfortable, he felt confident enough to sleep in my presence; cuddling up against me in the process. I didn't mind the position at all with our arms around each other, his forehead against my neck. It just felt so right.

I moved as gently as possible to see who was ringing me and my phone screen said _dad._ I knew exactly why he was ringing. He hated it when I was still outside in the dark. I answered the phone trying to keep my voice quite so I don't wake Jasper up.

"Hello dad" I answered.

"Alice, where are you?" he asked rather concerned.

I knew Jasper would hate me for this but I knew that his life back at home had something to do with his tears and I couldn't let him go back.

"Dad, I'm with Jasper. Something has happened" I whispered loud enough for him to hear over the phone.

"What's wrong Alice" he asked now sounding a little panicked.

"Nothing's wrong with me dad, I'm fine but...can you just pick us up, where at the beach again" I informed.

"Alice, what about Jasper?" he asked worriedly.

"I don't know" I whispered in honesty.

With that, Carlisle hung up, with no doubt that he is on his way. He worries about Jasper as if he was his own son. At least there are more people that care about him.

Jasper was still sleeping on me so I began to play with his long, blond, curly hair. It felt so soft, the way a baby's hair would feel. As much as I loved out position, Carlisle would be here soon so I would need to move out. I lightly grabbed his arms and turned him so that he was leaning against my chest. I didn't want him to wake up just yet. I was afraid that he would run if he found out that Carlisle was coming. This was like déjà vu. This has already happened before and in the same place.

I then noticed that his hands were bare. Why weren't he wearing the bandaged that Carlisle put on him? I lifted up one of his bony hands to get a closer look at his injured hand and I shone my phone light on it as this place was pitch black. I looked closer when his sleeve fell back. I couldn't believe what I saw. There were fresh cuts, old cuts, short ones and longer ones. They were all criss-crossed up his wrist. I pulled his sleeve down further to see that his whole arm was covered in them. Why did he do this to himself? How did I miss this when I saw him lying on the floor of my bathroom not much longer than a week ago. Some of them were very recent. I lifted up the other arm only to see the same pattern.

"Oh Jasper" I felt like I wanted to kill who ever would make him feel the need to do this.

Did my dad know about this? Of course he does, he's a freaking doctor who had to search him for any injuries. He just didn't tell me because it wasn't exactly any of my business. I rolled his sleeve back down and held him closer to my chest.

"We'll make this all better Jazz. We'll make all of you worries go away" I mumbled in his ear although he wouldn't hear the words I am saying.

Just then, I heard a car pull up on the road. My dad was here.

"Alice!" He yelled.

He wasn't that far away from me so I only raised my voice a little to speak.

"Over here dad"

He ran in my direction with a torch in his hand and saw Jasper's peaceful body leaning against mine. He slowed as he neared us and crouched to get a good look at Jasper. He lifted his face up by putting his fingers underneath Jasper's chin.

"Jasper?" he said in an attempt to wake him up.

"No" he mumbled as he turned to grip on my shoulder.

"Jasper, you're going to come with me Ok" Carlisle tried again.

Jasper started to whimper as he now turned fully around to get a tighter grip on me.

"We'll have to wake him up, I don't want to scare him if he wakes up in our house unexpectedly" he explained to me.

I nodded.

"Jazz? Wake up" I said gently as I tried to shift my body but Jasper just kept a tighter hold on me.

He shivered as Carlisle moved his hand onto Jasper's shoulder to try and shake him awake.

"Wouldn't it scare him if he woke up now anyway?" I pointed out.

Carlisle nodded at me. "I suppose you're right" he agreed.

He then lifted Jasper off me to carry him to the car.

"Boy, you feel even lighter than you look" Carlisle said concerned followed by a sigh. "I knew I should have put you on a feeding tube that time you were in the hospital" he said disappointed in himself.

Jasper started to shift in Carlisle's arms uncomfortably.

"No" he whined.

"Is he dreaming" I asked Carlisle.

He looked down at the fragile boy in his arms.

"I think so" he replied.

Me and Carlisle started to walk towards the car until we heard yet another constant word of mumbles.

"No,no,no...no" Jasper started to push himself away from Carlisle although his attempt failed.

"Shhh it's Ok" Carlisle tried to calm him.

"Stop, please stop, please stop!" His mumbles were turning into screams and it was hard to tell if he was really yelling at us or if he was just having a nightmare.

I noticed that Carlisle was holding him closer to his chest as we continued to walk to the car. Once we were there, instead of strapping Jasper in, he just sat there cradling him for a while as Jasper continued to whimper at the horrible dream that he was having.

"What are we going to do dad?" I asked him.

Just then, Jasper opened his eyes and looked straight up at Carlisle, who returned the gaze. Jasper didn't seem to know where he was or who he was with but what he said next seemed so real.

"Please don't hurt me"

Carlisle looked back up at me with his eyes full of emotion. It made me realise just how important Jasper was to him.

"I don't know what were going to do with him, but he sure as hell not going back home" he promised firmly.

**Yay, I had my chapters planned but to be honest with you, this chapter only entered my head as I was writing and I'm glad I did write it because I like this chapter very much and I hope you did too. Also, if you spotted any mistakes, point them out to me as I didn't read through.**

**I will explain in the next chapter how Jasper went from being strangled in his father's room to crying in the forest but until then... REVIEW!**


	18. Chapter 18

I was actually happy with myself in the last chapter therefore it made me want to update as soon as possible.

**Please read: **Ihope this chapter isn't going to be too confusing. First off, Jasper's POV is pretty much a dream but it is repeating the events that had happened before he ended up being found by Alice. But remember, while he is reseeing this, he is in Carlisle's arms. The last bit is all an illusion though.

Disclaimer: I don't own the twilight saga

Jasper POV

_I wake up gasping for air. I see my father above me with his face close to mine; clearly he just performed mouth to mouth CPR._

"_Thank god" he whispered._

_I felt so weak and I was shaking. My father still leaned over on my naked body and started to kiss the side of my neck working his way down until he reached the faint bite mark on my collar bone. He started to lick that area but then he bit down so hard that I was sure that he got the taste of my blood. I screamed but that only encouraged him to continue and his teeth were sinking further into my skin. Some people would call this a love bite. This was no love bite. This was to show dominance; this was his way in saying that he owned me and he could fuck me whenever he wanted to. I was his. He finally took his teeth out of me and looked at me in disgust. _

"_Go to your room" he ordered._

_I tried to get up but I couldn't. I couldn't move the slightest inch. I hurt all over especially my collar bone and the area where he went into me without preparation. That was the worse punishment that I had ever been given. I really couldn't do this anymore. I have to find a way to end my life. I don't care what I promised Alice, I have given myself another chance but I just want to give up. I want to die._

"_I..I can't" I whispered._

_My father sighed heavily and grabbed my shoulders and dragged me roughly into my room, laying me on the carpet. He then left, closing the door behind him. Tears started to form in my eyes again as I lay there thinking about how long I will be living like this. My eyes landed towards my bedroom window, which I spent the next 15 minutes looking at. I was hated so much. Nobody wants me in this world. Hell, I didn't even want me in this world. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere._

_I started to get up, using all the strength that was in me but my attempt failed and I collapsed back on the floor with a groan of pain. I guess I should have eaten something. No! If I can't move then it must mean that I really am starving to death. This is what I want. This is what I need. I smiled a little, for once happy about my weakness. What if my father comes up here and sees that I am still like this. He will force me to stay alive; even if it meant shoving food down my throat. I couldn't have that. If I was going to die in one of the slowest ways possible, it had to be out of the house. Somewhere where he couldn't find me._

_My only chance in succeeding will be to use the last of my energy in escaping for one last time. I attempted to get up again, my body continued to protest at the movement which still felt so painful. The pain won't go away for a long time. I managed to stand but I leaned on the wall for support. Still holding onto things while moving around, I picked up a long sleeved shirt and put my boxers and trousers on, struggling in the process. I tripped a little but regained my balance grabbing the bed post. Now I was fully dressed, I steadily walked towards the window and opened it wide open._

_I was feeling so dizzy and I wasn't even thinking straight so before I knew it, I felt myself falling and I heard a thud on the ground. My pain increased a lot more if that was even possible. Maybe I should just lie here. No, my father will find me, I protested with myself. I have to get up again._

_I forced myself to move. I was in so much pain that it was difficult to tell if I had broken any bones from the fall but I forced myself to run anyway. My vision was still so blurry and I could hardly see anything. I kept on tripping over but I just repeatedly got up and carried on running again. _

_My legs finally stopped trying to carry me any further and I collapsed to the ground. I could hear myself crying as I my arms dragged me a little further away. Once I saw what appeared to be a tree in my blurred vision I lifted myself up one more time so that I was sitting against it. This is it. This is where I shall die. This is where I will let my body rot. This is where nobody will find me, neither will they care. _

_I don't know how long I was there. An hour maybe? _

"_Hello?" I heard a voice. My eyes caught a vision of a blurry figure. _

_It was my angel. I finally died. _

_Finally_

_But I was sure that I deserved to go to hell so why wasn't I there. Oh right, I already lived it._

"_Alice" I whispered._

_The angel neared me. She started to speak but I couldn't make out the words but I didn't want to lose her. What if this is just an illusion and I really do get sent to hell? I had to stay with my angel. Afraid that she was going to move away, I clung to here with all the strength that I could find. She was staying here. I needed her._

_I started to say things to her but now I don't even think that my brain was working properly so was unsure at what I actually said. Why was I still in pain? Dead people shouldn't feel like this. I closed my eyes again but then I heard more voices._

_They were here to take me away. My father, he was going to hurt me. He was going to do it in front of everyone to embarrass me. To humiliate me. He grabbed me and took me away from my angel and she started to disappear. He was going to do it to me again, twice in one day. Only now it was i public. In front of everyone I knew. He tied me down and forced his not so private area into my mouth._

"_No, no,no...no" I begged_

_I kept speaking, begging but he wouldn't stop. I started to thrash around._

**Carlisle POV **

I practically felt sick when I was holding the skeleton body in my arms. I wanted to rush him home; or to the hospital for that matter. I knew he didn't like hospitals but he just looks so sick and deathly pale. He started the thrash in my arms, kicking his legs and using his arms to hit my chest as hard as he could. I could tell that he was using all his strength into it but he didn't hurt me at all. He was very weak. He started to scream out loud followed by cries of pain. Tears were falling from his eyes as his nightmare took place. At least I hoped that it was just a night mare.

"NO! STOP! ... please stop hurting me" He mumbled the last bit and I could tell that he was giving up hope.

I held him close to me and began to kiss his forehead

"Shh, Its Ok. I won't ever hurt you" I comforted, hoping that he would wake up.

I carried on rocking him in my arms while Alice played with his hair.

"So will he be staying with us for a while?" she questioned.

I wasn't sure what we were going to do with him but I couldn't return him back home. Not for the third time. It breaks my heart when I know the huge mistake that I was making him when I took him home the last time and I refuse to do it again. My only other option was to let Jasper stay until I figured something out. Once social service actually notices the obvious, they are bound to place him in a foster home. Every child hated it but I was sure that it would be a lot better than Jasper's current life which I still didn't know fully of.

Jasper let out another scream and I knew that I couldn't keep him out here for much longer as it was getting cold.

"We need to start heading back" I told Alice.

She nodded and sat in the back of the car so that she could sit next to Jasper. I placed him next to her and she pulled him into her and I noticed how he automatically calmed down, gripping onto her shirt and hiding his face in her neck. She took the hand that wasn't gripping her and stroked it with her thumb. I smiled at her, happy at how she manages to calm him so instantly. I got into the driver's seat and drove us home as fast as legally possible.

Jasper remained silent in the car as Alice whispered hushed words into his ear. Once we reached the house, I speedily got out of the car and went into the back again to carry Jasper out. As I did so, he reached out for Alice again although his eyes were only half open.

"Where is she?" he whispered. "No... don't go" he cried a little louder.

Alice shut the car door then reached for Jasper's hand.

"Shhh It's Ok Jazz. I'm not going anywhere, I promise" she whispered back to him.

She had to let go of his hand to knock on the door but Jasper didn't say anything. In fact, he was completely limp and it worried me.

"Wassup gu.. what the fuck?" Emmett gasped.

"Language Emmett" I warned as I rushed through the door.

I laid him on the couch and Alice crouched by him.

"Er... Dad is he Ok?" Emmett questioned.

"Liston Emmett, I need you to keep everyone out of the main room for a bit can you do that for me?" I asked my eldest son.

He nodded and walked out of the room. I crouched by Alice who was stroking his hair again. I hated to do this but I had to know. I shifted his body just a little so that I was able to remove his shirt. As I did so, it yet again shocked me by the bony looking figure. The bruises by his ribs had healed a little and no further damage seemed to have happened. But then my eyes caught something.

"Dad?" Alice questioned, horrified as she saw what I saw.

There was a big, deep mark on his collar bone and it sickened me when I saw that it was a bite mark. How could a man live with himself knowing of the life that he was currently destroying? Maybe I had been missing something all along. This bite mark; it was like a show of dominance. Almost as if he was... No. Please don't tell me that he has lived a life with more than just physical abuse.

Jasper started to whimper and shift around and the hand that Alice was using to play with his hair was now moved down to his hand.

"Jasper?" I said calmly hoping that he would wake up properly this time.

His eyes flickered open and looked directly at me. The eyes looked so dead and it seemed that he was actually looking right through me.

"I didn't do anything wrong" he whispered.

I was confused.

"I know Jasper" I said calmly.

"So why did you do it?" he whispered back.

Alice was now as confused as I was.

"Do what Jasper?" I questioned.

He looked at me remaining silent.

"Jasper, what did I do?" I repeated.

"Hurt me... Touch me"

**Boom! What do you guys think. (Oh and just in case you guys got the wrong message, Jasper was just illusionising his father. Carlisle didn't do no such thing but of course we know that)**

**I got more than my average amount of reviews in my last chapter so this is my way in saying a huge 'thank you'. So, maybe if there are even more reviews, the update shall be as quick as this was (hint hint)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow, I got even more reviews than the last. Here's your reward.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight saga or any other twilight stuff**

**Carlisle POV**

I couldn't believe it. Did he really think that I... no, he was still half asleep. He didn't know what he was saying. He probably didn't even know where he was. When he said '_touch'_ surely he didn't mean what I thought he meant. Ever since I first met Jasper, I knew that there wasn't something right about him. I knew that he was hiding something. Physical abuse was an obvious sign in Jasper but I can't believe I missed this. I mean, it's hard to spot any obvious signs, especially when the skittish behaviour could have been explained due to constantly being hit. But that wasn't the only reason. Maybe he was also skittish because he was being touched in uncomfortable areas. Was I looking too much into it? Maybe it was just physical abuse and now I am just coming up with every bad torture method.

"Jasper, Can you tell me where you are?" I questioned him.

He stared right through me, tilting his head like a puppy.

"Alice" he whispered to her.

"What is it Jasper?" she asked.

"Alice, don't let him do it again" he whispered again, seemingly ignoring the fact that I could hear him.

"Jasper, my dad is going to help you" she replied calmly.

He shook his head quickly, not letting his eyes off me.

"No Alice, you didn't help me. I trusted you. You let him Alice. Why did you let him? I didn't do anything, I swear. Alice don't hurt me" he started hyperventilating .

"Jasper calm down, nobody is here to hurt you" I promised.

"No. No go away. You hurt me" Jasper raised his voice although he continued to breathe heavily.

He turned around searching the room, looking for an exit. As soon as he spotted to door, he began to bolt but just as I ran after him, he collapsed by the door.

"Jasper?" Alice panicked.

I turned him around to see his eyes still half open but they didn't look as panicked as they did earlier although he still seemed to look straight through me. I picked him up again, pulling him close to my chest.

"What am I going to do with you eh?" I whispered to him.

"End me" he whispered back so quietly I almost missed it.

Hearing him say that just made me want to hold him closer.

"Dad, what are you going to do about his home life?" Alice asked.

"I'll speak to Charlie, unlike other people; he might actually do something about it. Hopefully the father will be locked behind bars" I answered.

"I hope so. Whatever happened to Jasper, his dad is going to pay" she threatened.

I notice that Jasper's eyes were now fully closed. He must have been tired if he was sleeping in the arms of someone.

"Alice, it's time for you to go to bed. You have school in the morning" I told her.

"What about Jazz?" she asked.

"It's alright Alice. I have it under control" I smiled.

She smiled back at me and crouched down near Jasper to move some of his hair that was hiding his eyes a little. After giving Jasper's hair one last stroke, she wondered off out the door. I then stood up with the fragile boy still in my arms and walked back over to the sofa. I sat there with him for a few moment's trying to figure out what to do. His body had obviously reached starvation mode but I hated the idea of him waking up in the hospital absolutely terrified. I decided to keep him for one night and if I couldn't get him to eat by tomorrow, I will send him up the hospital. I looked down at his delicate frame; he was still topless but I didn't want to wake him to put it back on so I just left it. There was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in now?" It was Emmett.

I sent them out to avoid the attention of Jasper but I couldn't exactly hide him from them forever plus he was asleep so he wouldn't be having any panic attacks.

"Yes Emmett" I called out loud enough for him to hear.

He opened the door and slowly walked towards me.

"So what's up with ... Jesus" He gasped as he saw Jasper. "Who the fuck did that to him?"

I have to correct Emmett at least 7 times a day on his language but no matter how many times I told him to stop it, it just went through one ear and out the other.

"Sorry" he mumbled, realising his mistake. "But er...what happened?"

I didn't want to reveal things to my son, especially because they were so sick and twisted so I decided to sugar coat it as much as I could.

"Somebody didn't like Jasper very well, and Jasper is more of the suffer in silence type so he didn't tell anybody"

"So that's why he is always shit scared of me... damn it, sorry dad I can't help the swearing, it just naturally comes out of my mouth" Emmett admitted.

"It's alright. It's late anyway Emmett so shouldn't you be getting some sleep" I suggested.

"I suppose I should. What are you going to do with the tortured soul" he asked.

"He's staying here tonight. Tomorrow I'll think further of it but until then, he's staying with us" I informed.

"Where is he going to sleep? He can sleep in my room. I can sleep on the floor inside that sleeping bag I always use for camping" Emmett offered.

Emmett, being his usual friendly self. It was a nice offer but I couldn't imagine Jasper waking up on the good side if he found out that he wasn't alone. Especially because Emmett's size must absolutely terrify him.

"I don't think that the Idea is suitable for somebody who is afraid of other people" I admitted.

"Well unless you have a better idea" he shrugged

I considered it and Emmet noticed.

"Come on, he's in the same house as his girlfriend. Alice will calm him down if he gets out of hand" he pushed.

Emmett was now the only one that still saw Alice and Jasper in a love relationship. The rest of us were agreeing with Edward. I hated the thought of throwing Alice into it but after all, she is the only one he clings onto.

"Fine. If anything gets out of hand, wake me up" I gave in.

Emmett smiled as I stood with Jasper and began to walk upstairs to his room. He opened the door for me and neatened the bed sheets as I laid him down. I turned to Emmett.

"Even if his breathing levels start to sound a little fast in his sleep, you tell me" I said.

"Ok dad I got it" Emmett said.

I took one final glance at Jasper before turning away, shutting Emmett's bedroom door behind me.

**Emmett POV**

I shifted in my sleeping bag for like the 50th time in an hour. It always takes me about two hours of laying around until I finally get some sleep. I usually spent that time on my phone texting, facebooking and other stuff but tonight I was thinking. Something I rarely ever do. I was thinking about the behaviour of 'Jumpy'. I always knew that it was unusual that he was so quiet and edgy around people; especially me because my muscles are so big that they make me look super awesome and hardcore. It turns the ladies on and scares the guys away. It really scares him away though. I saw how horrible he looked tonight though. I knew he was a skinny fuck but I didn't realise how skinny he really was. Plus, what was with the cuts and bruises. Mind you I also saw a bite mark near his neck so somebody got lucky. Wait... hopefully Alice didn't do that. I know that Jasper and Alice are totally going out but surely there relationship isn't going _that_ fast. She's in denial but that bite is proof. He better not be taking advantage of her otherwise he'll be a lot more bruised than he already is.

I heard a loud clash and I sat right up. I turned on the torch light on my phone and shone it at skinnyboy to see if he was Ok and I saw him looking straight at me. I have to admit, I felt a little scared at the way his ghostly eyes were looking through me. It's almost as if he could see somebody else.

"Er... Jasper?"

He grabbed my alarm clock and then threw it against the wall. The little shit. That's what the noise was.

"Dude don't do that. These are my things so don't touch" I warned.

He then grabbed my empty glass that I left in my room and aimed to throw it at me.

"Woah, fuck no! Dad!" I yelled, afraid to move. "Dad he's trying to fucking kill me!"

I know, I know. I was over exaggerating but by saying that, it would rush Carlisle out of his bed. Speaking of which, I started to hear movement. At the noise, the little shit then moved his arm so that he was aiming at the door. I took the advantage to get up and grab the glass out of his hand. This made him panic and back up until he fell off the bed. He dropped the glass so that calmed me a little but once I turned the light on, I turned back to Jasper and he had a fucking pocket knife in his hand.

"Stay back" he shouted as he pointed it at me.

I backed up by the door which then pushed into me as somebody tried to open it.

"Emmett what's going on" It was Rosalie.

"Rosalie do not come in. The little skinny freak has gone all psycho on me. Wake dad up before he stabs me to death" I told her.

I heard he run to my parents room.

"You go away now" He started to speak the way a little child would.

"Dude, this is my fucking room. Don't tell me what to do" I warned.

"You're evil. You're bad." He glared at me but then he started to chuckle with one of those psycho looking smiles. "You can't hurt me. I'm not here anymore"

Was he insane? Was he mental or something?

"Emmett open the door" Carlisle ordered.

I stood away from it so that he could get in. As he stepped into my room, he instantly spotted Jasper sitting in the corner of my room insanely smiling. The knife was still pointed towards us.

"Jasper" Carlisle said crouching while nearing Jasper. "Jasper, can you put the knife down for me, please?"

Jasper stared at Carlisle, tilting his head.

"Do you want it? Do you want to cut me?" Jasper questioned.

"Jasper, I don't want anybody to get hurt. Please put it down" Carlisle begged.

I was so confused at what was happening. The silent boy actually does speak. Did I mention he had an accent. I wasn't sure what it was though. But anyway, my point is that now he is speaking, he sounds like some sort of mental case that just escaped from his asylum. Man I wish I didn't offer him my bedroom now.

"Jasper?" Oh great, now Alice has joined the party.

He instantly looked directly at her, putting the blade back in his pocket. He struggled to stand but just as he manage to he started to walk towards her. Oh hell no. I stood in the door way to block his reach and he went to grab the sharp object again until my sister spoke again.

"It's ok Jasper...Emmett move out of the way, he's not going to hurt me" she promised.

"Alice" he whispered.

Why does he have to act so angelic around her? Can't she see how dangerous he is? I looked at Carlisle and he hesitantly nodded. Was he also mad? I sighed and moved out the way and as soon as I did so, he ran towards her and held onto her tight.

"Shh it's Ok Jasper... I won't let nobody hurt you I promise" She cooed.

Alice glared at me for a second and then sat down with Jasper in the hallway so that it was easier for him to lean on her.

"You still planning on keeping him over night because by morning, he would slaughter us all leaving Alice the only one alive" I said as I turned to Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed as he looked at the two of them.

"Can't we just, you know, ditch him in a children's home?" I asked.

He shook his head at me.

"I don't know what to do" he said honestly.

**Ok, to clear things up... Unlike what Emmett seems to think, Jasper hasn't gone Psycho. This is just a mix of Jasper thinking he is dead plus he isn't awake. It's a little like sleepwalking. He'll completely forget it when he properly wakes up. But also consider that being physically and sexually abused for 10 years really can mentally damage you. (We already know that because of the self harm and suicide) So what I am pretty much saying is that in Jaspers head, they are all demons apart from Alice who is the angel. Get it? If you don't, message me and I will make it clearer.**

**REVIEW! I wasn't going to update today but the amount of reviews encouraged me to so if there are enough reviews I will update again tomorrow. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Well today has been busy for me...so busy that I almost didn't have time to update but I forced myself to because you guys are amazing and are so encouraging. Unfortunately though, this isn't a very exciting chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight saga or any of the characters including the adorable Jasper.**

**Alice POV**

I was currently sitting with Jasper leaning against a wall in the hallway next to my bedroom door. He was in the same position as he was when I found him in the forest with his arms around me and his face hiding in my neck. I was still very unsure about the sudden behaviour but I was happy that it was me that comforted him.

"Dude seriously, unless you hide all of your sharp objects and take that knife off him, I refuse to be in the same house as him" Emmett threatened at Carlisle.

Carlisle looked at the fragile boy clinging onto me and then back at Emmett.

"He just got a little frightened" he reasoned.

"Frightened? Dude he woke up and started to throw my stuff. That's not being frightened, that's just him trying to piss me of" Emmett raised his voice a little.

"Emmett just go back to bed. I'll sort this out OK?" Carlisle replied.

Emmett sighed at him and then turned to glare at Jasper. He would have freaked if he noticed Emmett's facial expression. I returned a glare at my brother making him turn to go back to his room. Good.

I began to rub Jasper's bony back as Carlisle walked closer to us and crouched down to our level.

"Jasper, can I have that pocket knife please?" he asked.

I could hear Jasper breath lightly in my ear and I knew that he had no intention to say anything.

"Jasper?"

At the sound of Carlisle's voice again, he tightened his grip on me.

"Alice keep me safe" he whispered so quietly that only I heard him.

"Shhh its Ok" I cooed. "Dad, I don't think that he is fully awake. He's doesn't even know what's going on" I told him.

Even if he was fully awake I doubt that he would give anybody his pocket knife; his only protection.

"I know, but I doubt that he is in the right state of mind to have a sharp object on him Alice. He could have hurt Emmett" Carlisle said.

Jasper continued to rest on me completely ignoring our conversation. He probably didn't even hear us. He was just in his own little world; hopefully a happy one.

"So what are you going to do? Because he isn't going to just give it up and we can't exactly go through his pocket; that will totally freak him out" I replied.

Carlisle didn't answer. He knew that Jasper had won this one. We were all stuck in a bit of a sticky situation with Jasper. He hasn't been here for too long and he was already proving to be difficult to look after.

"Can he sleep in my room" I asked. It was crazy but it was my only solution.

"Out of the question Alice" he said immediately.

"Dad please. Look at him. I'm the only one that does that to him. Everybody else freaks him out. It's that or I stay up all night until he fully wakes up" I pleaded.

"Alice..."

"Just one night dad, it isn't going to kill anyone" I begged.

"Alice" Jasper whispered

"This just isn't going to work" Carlisle said quietly.

"Why not dad? He needs me"

He continued to look at Jasper's body and the way he held onto me. He appeared to be considering it. Maybe if I pushed a little further.

"If he doesn't sleep in my room then where else is he going to go. Edward hates him and Emmett is now scared of him, If you were willing to give up your bed, that also mean that mum goes without one too and if Jasper sleeps on the couch the chances are that he won't be here in the morning" I pointed out.

He knew I was right. Males sleeping in the same room as a female for one night does sound extremely strange (and sexual to Emmett) but Jasper is different. I know it, Carlisle knows it and pretty much everyone else knows it. I didn't want Jasper in my room because he was a guy, I wanted him in my room because I need him to feel safe here. I wanted to prove to Carlisle that Jasper isn't as difficult as he appears to be. He just needs some TLC. Something that he hasn't been given in a long time.

"I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of him with a knife on him while he is in your room Alice" he admitted.

I gently took Jasper's wrists so that he didn't have a grip on me but then he just held on tighter, panicking a little.

"It's Ok Jasper" I whispered as I repeated the same movement.

This time he let me pull away. I put my finger underneath his chin so that I could get him to look at me. He did so, tilting his head. A gesture he has been doing a lot of lately.

"You know that you are safe right?" I asked him.

"I safe with you" he said in a childlike way.

"Yes. You are Jazz. If you're safe with me, then you won't need your pocket knife tonight will you?" I tried to reason with him.

He backed up immediately looking at me with his terrified eye.

"Need to go. Need to find a safe place" he mumbled as he continued to crawl backwards.

"Woah Jasper. You're going to stay here" Carlisle spoke.

"No! No you go away. You stay away from me" he shouted at him.

"Jazz calm down, it's alright" I hushed.

My voice seemed to calm him instantly.

"Alice" he whispered.

I noticed that he seems to repeat my name a lot. I thought it was rather cute. Wait, now was not a good time to be thinking of Jasper like that.

"Shh it's Ok Jasper" I calmed him. "Come here" I told him.

He hesitated but he then cautiously moved towards me. I noticed the amount of effort he was putting in to walk without being obviously in pain. I hated it when he hurts. I couldn't stand seeing him in such agony. What did his father do to him?

"I need it" he mumbled as he neared me but still stood wearily like he was expecting me or Carlisle to hit him.

"Need what?" I asked.

"I need it because they're going to take me away from you" Jasper said quietly.

He was talking about his pocket knife. I looked at Carlisle as I knew this was proof that he needed me in order for him to feel safe. He looked back at me and sighed and then turned to Jasper.

"Jasper, nobody is here to take you away from Alice. I understand that she is your friend and I don't want to ruin that" Carlisle said.

"Yes you do. You want to stop her liking me. You want to make her hate me" he glared at my dad.

"Jasper come with me" I said pulling him into my room.

He relaxed as I held a grip on his arms and leaned his head against my shoulder. He was definitely tired. Once he has a good night's sleep and wakes up in the morning, he'll be back to his normal self. Quiet, scared and hidden.

"You lay down here" I whispered to him as I guided him into my bed.

As I walked away he grabbed my wrist and held onto it.

"Don't go" he whispered.

Them frightened eyes were back.

"I will be 2 minutes" I assured.

He forcefully loosened his grip and I walked out of my room.

"Alice.."

"Stop worrying dad. It's not like were sleeping in the same bed" I interrupted Carlisle.

I barged into Emmett's room.

"Oh fuck he's back!" he shouted as he flipped out of bed.

"Emmett it is just me" I said as I stole his sleeping bag off the floor.

"Dude that's mine" he complained.

"Yeah and I am just going to borrow it" I sighed as I shut the door on him.

"Alice I still don't think this is a good idea" Carlisle said.

"Don't you trust me dad? It will be Ok" I convinced him.

He thought long and hard about it before he finally nodded in agree ment.

"Any trouble, you call me" He said.

I walked back into my room and Jasper was sat up with his ghostly eyes on me. I laid the sleeping bag on the carpet and got in turning in Jasper's direction.

"Your safe here Jasper" I whispered.

"I know" he mumbled as he closed his eyes.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox

"Alice?" I heard a voice as they tapped my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and shifted a little looking at the person who decided to wake me up. Jasper. Oh I forgot about last night.

"Hey Jazz" I smiled at him.

He looked a little confused. "Alice, why am I here" he asked as his eyes wondered of in different directions.

"You don't remember?" I questioned.

He shook his head. He really didn't have a clue last night then.

"What do you remember last?" I asked him.

Jasper's usual hidden face returned. He thinks we don't know.

"I better be heading back" he said as he move to get up.

Then he stopped.

He looked down and noticed that he wasn't wearing his shirt. He looked horrified and avoided eye contact with me.

"Jasper, I found you and you were..."

"Where is my shirt?" He interrupted.

I got up to go and ask Carlisle where he had put it but then I stopped myself.

"My dad isn't going to let you leave Jasper" I stated. "He won't let you go back to him " I continued a little quieter.

Jasper still refused to look at me. In fact he turned to look at my bedroom window.

"Do not even think about it Jasper" I warned him.

He didn't move. He just kept looking at it. And then at his hands. Then back at the window. I was confused. Was he remembering something? He took a few deep breaths trying to clear his mind and then he spoke.

"I'm still alive" he muttered quietly.

He thought he was dead? He sat back on my bed and lifted his knees up to his chin while rapping his arms around his legs. I placed myself next to him, looking in his direction, hoping that he would at least look at me.

"You do want to be alive right?" I asked hoping that it would be a positive answer.

No answer.

There was then a knock on the door.

"Breakfast is ready" Esme gently spoke.

"Ok mum, we'll be down in a second" I informed and she nodded and closed the door.

I reached for Jasper's hand but he flinched back. I thought he got used to my touch.

"I'm not going down there. I want to get out of here" he stated.

"I can't let you do that Jazz" I whispered.

I felt like crying. How could he want to go back home after living such a rough life.

"Jazz, I need to ask you something and it's really important" I said.

"Is it anything about me" he asked warily and nodded. "Then no, don't ask"

"Please Jasper, I have to know"

"You don't have to know anything" he said deeply.

I sighed and we just sat there in silence for a little bit. This worked on everyone I knew so hopefully it would work on him too. Wait for it...

"Fine, what?" he gave in.

"Why have you got a bite mark on you?"

**This was a hard chapter to write and I understand that it's not my best but I know where this story is going now. I might upload again tomorrow but then again I might not... It's up to you weather I do or not...**


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm sorry for not updating earlier; I have just been going through a lot this weekend so I struggled to find the perfect time to write the next chapter. Anyway, here it is. I think this is a very cute one.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

I knew that Jasper is a very edgy person so he would have obviously been difficult to look after. But I didn't expect him to be dangerous. When I saw him holding the pocket knife in a threatening way, part of me had regretted taking him in for the night. But what else could I have done? I couldn't have just left him there in the forest. I couldn't have returned him home so that he could be damaged some more. No, this was my only option but as agreed, as soon as my children head to school, Jasper and I will be meeting Charlie, the best cop in forks. Hopefully, he'll get Jasper talking and get him to at least admit to being abused. Once there is enough evidence, his father should be jailed and Jasper will be sent to a better home.

"Dad!" I heard Alice yell from upstairs.

I immediately rushed upstairs hearing the panic in her voice. I was thinking the worse. Had he hurt her? I opened her bedroom door quite fast and my eyes searched the room. In the far corner, there was Jasper shaking in fear desperate to catch his breath. Alice was next to him with his hand in hers, trying to calm him down. I rushed over to them.

"What happened?" I asked her.

She hesitated before she answered. "I asked Jasper a rather personal question and I think it brought back memories" she admitted.

It was clear that it was the memories that brought on the panic attack and I knew that this would be a long term thing. I don't know every detail of his life but what I do know is that he won't ever get over this. He definitely has a panic disorder and I'm sure that he even has a psychiatric disorder. I should book him cancelling appointment because if I don't do something about this soon, there is no doubt that he would be sectioned. The defensive dangerous side has already started to show and even though it isn't his fault, things like this can put him in a mental asylum and I didn't want him to have his life spent in a padded room of some sort.

"Jasper, breathe with me. Breathe." I instructed.

I breathed heavily hoping for him to follow.

"I already tried that but it just seems to scare him" Alice informed me.

"Jasper, look at me" I tried again.

He gave me a hesitant look before quickly looking away again.

"Jasper, look at me" I repeated.

The arms that were wrapped around his legs had now been raised as he put both hands on his face, clawing at his forehead.

I took this chance to remove his raised arms. He struggled against me, continuing to dig his nails in his face but the lack of energy in him made it difficult for him to fight against me. He began to kick which instantly made me let go of him. His hand then reached for his hair as he began to pull at it. Despite his difficulty to breathe, he managed to let out a scream; not out of physical pain but a way of expressing it mentally which pained me to think of what this boy has been through. I yet again took his arms which were thin enough for me to press them together so that I could hold them with just one hand. The other wrapped round his waist so that I could turn him around, avoiding his kicking legs. He continued to scream after stopping in attempt to get his breathing under control.

"Alice, I think it would be best for you to go downstairs. You need to eat your breakfast before you go to school. I'll handle this" I assured her in a loud voice so that she could hear me over Jasper.

She looked at him sympathetically then sadly nodded before leaving the room. After she left Jasper began to pound his head against my chest which to no surprise felt effortless. As soon as this was over, I would definitely need to put the calories into him.

"Shh, Jasper this isn't going to help your breathing. You need to calm down" I said smoothly.

He paid no attention to me and tried to get his wrist free.

"Let me go" he demanded before catching another breath. "Please... Don't" he mumbled between more breaths.

"Jasper, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just trying to help you" I said calmly.

He stop struggling against me and gave up, resting his head on my chest. I knew that this was the perfect opportunity to start breathing heavily again.

"Copy my pattern Jasper. Breathe with me" I whispered.

He seemed to breathe in a near time to when I was breathing so I knew that he was trying. The slower his breathing, the easier it should be for him so hopefully, he will get the hang of it again. I chose this moment to let go of his arms as it was physical contact that causes these attacks on him but my hand remained around his waist for just in case. He slowly moved his arm so that they were touching the carpet but I could tell that he was unsure if I would grab them again. Jasper wasn't shaking as much and the level of his breathing had improved even more so he wasn't gasping for air now.

"I'm sorry" he whispered without effort to breath this time.

"Shh, you don't need to be sorry Jasper" I reassured him.

"What are you going to do with me?" he mumbled fearfully.

What was I going to do to him? It dawned to me what he meant by that. It also hurt a little that considering I had helped him and Alice too on many occasions, that he still felt that we were here to hurt him. Of course it wasn't his fault. He was raised in a way that would stop him trusting everybody.

"I'm not going to hurt you" I confirmed.

"But I deserve it" he whispered back.

He thought he deserved getting hurt. I'm going to have to keep a watchful eye on him at all times while he is with me now. With a knife still in his pocket, it worried me that he was now in a self harming mood and I didn't want him to do anything stupid.

"No Jasper, you don't deserve anything that has happened to you" I tried to convince him.

"Why won't you punish me?" he questioned quietly.

This child was just too broken. He must be prone to pain. What was there to punish anyway? Since we were on the topic of punishment, I decided to delicately get some answers out of him, hoping that it would not bring on yet again another attack.

"What kind of punishments are you expecting?" I asked.

"It depends what mood you are in." He stated nervously.

"Mood?" I questioned.

"Which mood is stronger, anger or feeling aroused?" he hesitantly asked.

Did I hear that right? Aroused?

"Jasper if I was feeling aroused, what punishments would that include?" I questioned in hope that I would get the answers that I need.

He didn't say anything. He stayed silent. He had probably realised that the questions were involving his father and getting to the bottom of what he was doing to Jasper. I was sure more than ever that sexual abuse was now involved. I just needed to know how much. Was he just being touched or was he also being raped? How often?

I released my arm from his waist. Maybe that was why he thought I was going to hurt him as I had him so close to me. Despite letting go, he remained in the same position keeping the back of his head leaning against my chest as if was still guiding him to breathe calmly. I suddenly heard a sniffle and felt him begin to shake against me again but his breathing remained normal. I then noticed that he was silently crying and that his fists were clenched. I knew that he seemed comfortable in his position but seeing his sadness made me want to shift him to his side so that it was easy for me to wrap my arms around him in order for him to feel comforted and hopefully, not threatened. He went along with the movement and it was now the side of his head pressing against his chest.

"Shhh It's alright Jasper. It's all going to be alright."

It was hard to believe that this was the same boy that was pointing a knife at me and Emmett yesterday. Yesterday was his defensive side but today, he was releasing his pain and suffering and I was glad that it wasn't his usual hidden face too.

"Don't make me go back. Please don't make me go back" he begged as more tears fell from his eyes.

I began to rock him gently, resting my chin on top of his head.

"Never" I promised.

At that, his hands gripped on my shirt, in desperate need to feel safe.

"Don't send me away" he whispered. "Need Alice" he added.

I wasn't too sure if I could promise him that one. I knew Alice meant a lot to him but I was very unsure of how he will end up once the father gets sorted out. Would he mentally be well enough to be around children in a foster home or would he need to be placed in a special home with carers that would be patient with him and give him the love that he so desperately needs.

Tears continued to roll down the broken boy cheeks as he presses his face into my shirt. I rub circles on his back in encouragement to let it all out. Maybe now was a perfect time.

"Jasper, is your father sexually touching you?" I asked as gently as possible knowing that I he was very fragile.

If I was going to get him to own up to something, I would need to ask him it directly. He was very silent and he started to grip my shirt tighter while taking deep breathes. He moved his head to look up and his bright blue eyes reached into my golden brown ones. I could understand what Alice meant when she was able to see the answer through his eyes but I needed him to say it.

"Yes" he said with a whisper.

**You guys kept begging me to get Jasper to tell somebody so guess what?... I did! That deserves loads of reviews right?**

**I know that Carlisle helping Jasper breathe was like repeating an older chapter when Alice was the one helping him but I just want you guys to know that panic attacks can be difficult to handle besides, I thought the Jasper and Carlisle moment was cute.**

**By the way, could you guys let me know if you would rather Carlisle find out about Jasper's suicide attempt when he jumped of the cliff that day? I'm not sure if he should know or not.**


	22. Chapter 22

**I was first disappointed with my lack of reviews but then I got a few more this morning so I thought... Hey why not update! So thanks to you guys.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

Jasper remained in my arms clenching on my shirt as he silently cried against my chest. My chin rested on his forehead as I continued to rock him gently. I couldn't help but feel that this is how a father would hold his son in a need of comfort. It, for some reason, felt so right; like this is how it is suppose to be.

"Shhh, it's all going to be alright now Jasper. He won't come near you again. I won't let him" I promised.

"You're not gonna kick me out of your house?" he mumbled in my chest.

I pulled him away so that I could look at him directly in the eye.

"Jasper, why would I kick you out?" I asked curiously.

"Father said that nobody will want me if they find out" he looked down at his hands that were now clenched on his trousers.

Hearing him say that made me want to hold him tighter. He thought that I wouldn't want him. I wanted to give this child everything he needs for his life to be normal again but that isn't even possible. A child could not live like this and then live the rest of it normally. It just wouldn't happen although I would have done anything to make the rest of his life worth living.

"Jasper, I am glad that you told me this. I am not disgusted in any way and it makes me realise how strong you are for admitting to such a thing. It does mean, however, in order to stop your father for committing such a crime, we'll have to talk to somebody about this" I admitted.

"No" he stated quietly.

"If we don't, then your father will get away with this and that I have no right to keep you from him" I warned.

"But he didn't do anything wrong" he argued.

Didn't do anything wrong? How could he say that? Did he seriously think that what his father had done to him was right? This made me really want to know how long this really had been going on.

"Jasper, what he did was very wrong. Nobody should touch a child like that" I said.

He leaned back into me with no further comment with no doubt thinking this through. We sat there for another three minutes until he spoke again.

"I know it wasn't right but it's okay to treat me that way" he whispered.

"No Jasper, it's not" I told him.

"Father tells me that I'm sick and disgusting and that I deserve everything" he admitted.

"Don't listen to him"

"Why? It's true" he suddenly yelled as he pulled away from me. "He's my biological father. I'm sick, filthy. It's incest."

He started to claw at his face again in hatred.

"No, no, no Jasper listen to me. This wasn't your fault. You didn't choose this." I assured as my hands firmly held Jaspers shoulders.

"Please don't tell Alice" he whispered.

I knew why he wouldn't tell her. He is afraid that she would stop being thee friend that she is to him. I hate that he thinks so low of himself. Although it is natural to think of yourself like this after such things.

"Of course not Jasper" I confirmed.

He sighed and relaxed.

"Can I have my shirt now? Alice never got me it" he asked.

I had forgotten all about that. He had been left shirtless since last night and that must have made him feel extremely uncomfortable being seen like that.

"Of course but I'll get a fresh one for you" I said as I got up and left the room.

By fresh shirt, I meant going through the drawers of my son Edward. Edward would have the most suitable clothing for Jasper although it would still look extremely baggy on him due to Jaspers extremely skinny figure. I picked out a black long sleeved shirt for him when I heard a voice behind me.

"How is he?"

It was Esme.

"He's fine. I'm going to get some food in his system and then once he has strengthened up a little, I'll take him down to the police station. He is still rather weak from when Alice had found him yesterday" I informed.

"Such a poor little soul" she replied sympathetically.

"I know" I agreed.

"What will happen to him" she asked.

"I'm not sure. That is depending on him. If he admits to being abused, then the father will be jailed and if he doesn't, they'll make me give Jasper back to him" I said.

"I know that but what I mean is, where will he live if the father is in jail?" she questioned.

I had the slightest idea to where this was going. Esme falls in love with kids a little too easy and Jasper must be one of those. I sighed at her.

"He seems to need mental help Esme. You have no idea what this boy has been through and such things can do long term damage to him" I warned her.

"He's really taken to Alice, Carlisle. She's the one that helped stop all this. We can't just let random people take him away from her just because they believe he isn't fit for living a life in the real world" She said.

She had a point. It would destroy Jasper not being around Alice. She was important to him for a strange reason and it wouldn't be fair to steal such a trust away from him. However, life didn't always work the way we wanted it to.

"He won't necessarily be sent to a mental asylum honey, it's just a possibility. But the chances are, he will need to be placed in a non-male home just to make him feel safe" I informed her.

She sighed at me in disappointment. I hated disagreeing with her but it was all very true.

"At least think on it. Tell Jasper that I have made him a bowl of porridge and that it's ready now" she said as she walked away from the doorway.

I also walked out of Edward's room and back into Alice's. As I opened the door, I looked around to see where Jasper was. I couldn't see him.

"Jasper?" I called.

I looked again and then saw the window wide open. I immediately panicked. He had taken the chance to make a run for it. Is that why he asked me to get his shirt? He knew that I would leave the room to get it. This wasn't good. I ran towards the window, also worried that he could have somehow damaged his body during the fall.

Nothing.

I rushed out of Alice's room and ran down the stairs to hurry out of the back door into the garden. I looked around.

Still nothing.

"Jasper" I called again.

I was really worrying now. Please don't go back to him Jasper. Please don't do anything stupid, I desperately thought to myself. I continued to walk forward, looking around everywhere. If I don't find him within the next ten minutes I will be driving straight to the horror house that he lives in and after hearing what Jasper admitted, I would have no idea what I would do to that dreadful, sick man that did such things to him.

"I don't want to go to the police" I heard a sudden voice behind me.

I turned around to see nothing but the house, a few trees and the big area of grass. That's when I noticed the bright blue eyes that stood out so easily in the nearest tree behind me. It's amazing how this child could find such energy without digesting any food. Was that even possible?

"Oh thank god" I sighed as I walked towards the tree.

"I'm not going" He repeated.

"Jasper, come down from there. You could fall" I warned

A body as frail as his could break easily. His bones would be weak due to lack of calcium so seeing him so high up worried me that he would get hurt again.

"I'll jump if you make me go" he threatened.

I sighed at this. I wasn't sure how serious he was but I didn't want to push him so I spoke gently.

"Why don't you want to go?"

"I don't want anybody to know" He mumbled.

"But how is the problem going to be solved if you don't tell anybody about it" I questioned.

"I told you" He pointed out.

"Yes but I'm afraid that isn't enough. The police will need to hear it from themselves if they're going to lock him up" I informed.

He thought about this for about a minute as I waited patiently.

"Then he won't touch me again?" He asked uncertainly.

"Never again Jasper. But only you hold the power in putting him behind bars" I said.

He stayed silent yet again and I waited, hoping for a positive answer.

"Will you stay with me?" He cautiously asked.

"Of course I will Jasper. I won't leave your side" I promised.

He gazed at me for a little to see if I meant what I said. Satisfied with the answer, he carefully got down from the tree and turned to me again.

"Ok. I'll go" he confirmed.

"Alright, but first you need to have some breakfast. I don't want you fainting again" I said.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm not hungry" he mumbled.

I walked closer to him, not satisfied with his answer.

"Jasper, I will not be taking no for an answer. You are already dangerously thin and if you don't eat soon then you would be force fed in the hospital" I warned.

I noticed Jasper starting to shake again at my stern voice. I knew it wasn't the best way to talk to him but he needed to know the situation that he was in and I would hate to see him in a hospital bed with a feeding tube stuck in him.

"Now, Esme has made porridge which is on the table in the kitchen which you are going to eat. Here is a shirt for you to wear before we go" I said as I passed Edward's unused shirt to him.

He curiously looked at it but soon put it on. I nodded and walked him back to the house and led him into the kitchen.

"Morning sweetie" Esme welcomed him.

He said nothing and his face remained plain as he sat up the table and stared at the bowl.

"Do you want sugar, honey or anything else?" I asked.

He shook his head, his eyes not leaving the sight of the porridge. He took the smallest spoonful and slowly lifted it to his mouth. He carried on the movement and already started struggling on the 4th spoonful and gave up on the 6th.

"I'm full" Jasper announced.

And with that, he got down from the table and rushed up the stairs into the bathroom. I started to hear gagging noises almost as if he were throwing it up. That left me with two different answers as to what is happening.

Jasper has gone without for so long that the body can't handle such a change in digestion, causing him to bring the food straight back up or...

This was an eating disorder and after feeling so filthy about himself, he thinks he deserves to be starved so he could be currently sticking his fingers down his throat.

Both were very likely and I was very worried for him.

**Okay guys... This is up to you... Option 1 or 2, which would you prefer? The most votes would be the one I choose.**

**Please review! I am very tired but I carried on writing! Surely I deserve some!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews and opinions. Most of you decided that Jasper was going through enough already so there is no eating disorder. Instead he is just struggling to eat at the moment. **

**I am also getting a few requests of an Alice and Jasper moment. Well I can promise you that there is one, just a few chapters away!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

Jasper are you Ok in there?" I asked standing by the door.

He had been in there for about 10 minutes and I stopped hearing him throwing up around 3 minutes ago. The next thing I heard was a toilet being flushed and then the door opened with Jasper standing right in front of me looking a little anxious.

"Didn't make any mess. Don't worry" he mumbled.

"I don't care about that Jasper. What I care about is that you're Ok. Are you?" I questioned.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm er... I'm fine" Jasper stuttered.

I wasn't convinced with his answer but I knew that he wouldn't tell me anything more.

"Alright. Well do you want to see if you can eat some more?"

"Um... No." He answered.

"Alright, but were gonna try again in a few hours. Your body isn't use to the food that you are swallowing because you have gone so long without it. I do need to know Jasper, how often did your father feed you" I gently asked.

He tensed and looked away.

"He always fed me" He whispered.

"I know that's not true Jasper" I said concerned.

He sighed at me. "I don't eat that much. My father knows that which is why he doesn't give me much so I don't waist food" he answered.

I knew that the real reason was because he was starved for so long which is what stopped him feeling so reliant on food so now he hardly ever feels hungry. I just don't understand why Jasper doesn't realise how many bad things his father had done to him. To Jasper, everything the father had done was perfectly normal.

"Alright. Well I guess we'll head down to the station now then. When we get back, I'll give you a bowl of soup so that your body can adjust to the change of food in your system" I informed.

He nodded at me nervously, clenching his fist.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I parked my car outside of the police station and then turned to Jasper who looked like he was about to have another panic attack.

"Do you want to sit here for a little while, before we go in" I asked gently.

He pulled the long sleeves over his shaking hands, trying to hide his fearful emotions. He then looked my way and nodded.

"How often do you have these... panic attacks" I asked suspiciously.

He had already had too many for as long as I have known him and it was clear that this was quite an issue with him.

"I can't help it... they just come when er..." He stopped.

"When you think somebody is going to hurt you" I finished.

Jasper looked at me guiltily and nodded, confirming my answer. Although he didn't answer how often they came along, it must happen all too often if it's when he fears people touching him.

" I'm ready" he said after a few minutes of silence.

"You sure?" I double checked.

"Yeah" he answered as he moved to remove his seatbelt.

We got out of the car and entered the building. I noticed that Jasper moved closer to me, in hope for my protection which I was more than willing to give to him. I walked up to a desk where a small brunette woman sat at.

"Is chief Swan here?" I asked her politely.

She looked up at me and smiled.

"Yes, he's in his office. May I ask who you are?" She questioned.

"Carlisle Cullen. Don't worry, he knows me" I assured her.

She nodded and led me and Jasper to the office that Charlie was working in. She knocked on the door and the voice inside yelled a "Come In". The brunette opened the door to reveal Charlie sitting at the desk.

"Hello chief swan, a Carlisle Cullen wanted to see you" She informed him.

"Dr Cullen? Yes bring him in" he said.

With that, she opened the door wider so that I could walk in, Jasper sticking very close behind me.

"Hello Carlisle, what can I do for you" Charlie welcomed.

"Hello Charlie" I said as I moved aside to reveal Jasper, suddenly finding the floor interesting.

Charlie looked at me mysteriously.

"This is Jasper, we have serious talk that we need to discuss" I announced.

Charlie nodded at us although he still looked a little confused.

"Alright. I'm not too busy so take a seat and tell me what's going on" He instructed.

As we both sat down, I chose to be the first to talk, knowing that Jasper wouldn't say a word in the presence of another stranger until he felt entirely safe. Although I knew Jasper would hate it, I chose to get straight to the important information.

"Jasper lives alone with his father, who of which is abusing him in many different ways. He had denied this to social services but he has now admitted to a lot more" I started.

"Is this true Jasper?" Charlie asked as he turned to him.

Jasper had seemed to of shut down, blocking everybody out.

"Jasper it's Ok. This is the man that can stop all this. If you tell him the truth, you won't have to live like this anymore" I encouraged.

He took a quick glance at Charlie and then looked away again but it was followed by a nervous nod.

"Alright, if this is the case Jasper, I'm going to have to call down somebody from child services to ask you a few very personal questions alone" he said.

"Don't leave me. You promised" Jasper suddenly spoke up, his eyes glaring at me.

"Don't worry Jasper. I'm not going to leave you. I will be right outside. As soon as this person comes, they are going to ask you questions that will give them enough information to know that he deserves to be locked away" I assured him.

"What if they hurt me" he mumbled.

"Jasper I can assure you that people that work for the child service always handle situations delicately. They know that child abuse is very wrong and they do their best to put a stop to it. I promise that they won't even touch you" Charlie intervened.

Considering the nervous shaking hands that Jasper had on for show, he forcefully nodded.

**Jasper POV**

He's going to kill me. Once he finds out what I have done, he's gonna have enough anger in him to rip my throat out. After that, he would probably use my corpse as a sex doll. I was still sitting in the chief's office next to Alice's dad. The Chief was out of the room talking to a guy that I recognised from looking out of the glass office window. He was the same guy that questioned me when I went home not long ago after meeting up with Alice after school. I recall his name being something 'Dunn'. I looked away from him once he noticed me looking and leaned my head against the chair, making sure that my breathing levels were normal.

"Just answer the questions as honest as possible. Remember, they are here to help you not judge you" Carlisle said in an attempt to reassure me.

They will judge me. They'll see me as weak but if I do this, maybe it will put an end to my father's sick ways. I heard the door open behind me and then Carlisle stood up, giving me one more smile before he left. Let the shakes begin.

"Hello Jasper. Do you remember me?"

Dunn said as he replaced Charlie's office seat so that he wasn't near enough to scare me. I warily nodded. I read his badge on his shirt which said 'Michael J. Dunn'. I knew it was Dunn something.

"I have been told that you have admitted to being sexually abused. Was this your father?" he questioned.

I nodded.

"So tell me about it" he said.

He was expecting me to talk. As much as I wanted this to be over, my mouth refused to open. My vocal chords refusing to let me speak. I just plainly looked at him.

"How long has this been going on?" Dunn tried again.

I forced my mouth open so I could breath calmly therefore, I was relaxed enough to speak.

"10 years" I whispered.

Michael seemed rather surprised but I wasn't sure if it was because I spoke or because of the answer itself. He nodded writing something in his note book.

"So you were 7 when this first happened?"

I nodded.

"What did he do the first time it happened?" He questioned.

"Just took my clothes off and touched me" I whispered again.

"Where did he touch you Jasper?"

I just stared back at him. I thought the answer was obvious but I guess not for this idiot.

"Down there" I quietly answered.

He continued to write notes as I answered.

"Did he do anything else. Make you do anything?" He asked.

It took longer for me to answer this one. I wasn't sure what he would think of me if I told him what I did.

"He made me...Uh... he forced himself into my mouth. He had a knife, if I didn't he would have hurt me if I didn't do what he told me to" I tried to explain quickly, the pace of my breathing started to increase.

"It's Ok Jasper, it's not your fault. You are not in any trouble." Dunn assured.

I began to calm down again so Michael went on.

"You said he had a knife. Talk to me about that"

"He cut me when I cried because he said it was making me weak. He did it on many occasions and eventually I just gave up and let him do what he wanted" I admitted shamefully.

I chose to leave out the information about my mother. She didn't have to be involved in this. If anyone does ask, she left before it all happened.

"Has he ever had full sexual intercourse with you" he asked.

I felt a tear role down from my eye as I gently nodded.

"How old were you?"

"Nine" I answered quietly.

I feel so sick to admit it. Who loses their virginity to their own father? At the age of nine?

"Why do you think he did that?"

"He said that I was his toy. Father said that he created me therefore he owns me. Father said that he has a right to treat me like that" I answered.

"Do you believe that?" Dunn asked.

I nodded.

"Why?"

"He bit me. I'm his" I stated as tears started to flood at my eyes.

"When did he do that?" he questioned curiously.

"When I was 12. Now he does it every time it starts to heal" I admitted.

He carried on taking notes of what I was saying and then looked up t me.

"How often has he had sexual intercourse with you?"

No comment.

He waited for my answer but it never came.

"Is this why you began to cut yourself?" Dunn asked, changing the subject.

I shook my head.

"So why?" he questioned.

More tears started to fall and now I was finding it difficult to speak.

"Because I wasn't being punished enough" I cried.

**I did quite a few changes to make this chapter good enough and I did my best to make it as realistic as possible. E.g. I originally started it as Charlie doing the questioning but in real life, police don't do that so I decided to bring Michael J. Dunn back.**

**I want to let you know that considering that all seems well, we still aren't near the end like I first thought we were. I actually have quite far to go but hopefully, if it all goes to plan, I'll have it finished by November.**

**To those awesome people out there reading my story-Review! **


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys, A few chapters ago, I asked you guys if you would rather Carlisle know or not know about his suicide attempt. Most of you thought that he should know so in that case, he shall find out; but not yet...**

**I realised that I haven't got long to finish this story so I'm going to aim for longer chapter's, especially from next week as I have half term so there will be more time to write it.**

**Oh and one more thing... You're gonna love this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

The social worker, Michael J. Dunn, walked out of the office after an hour of questioning, leaving Jasper still in there. I stood up from the seat that I was sitting on and walked up to him.

"How did he do? Is he alright?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, I cannot give you any information on what was said but he is Ok. I just needed to go slowly for him as I noticed that his breathing pattern kept on changing" Michael replied.

"You can't even tell me if it's enough to separate him from his father?" I questioned.

He sighed at me.

"You were the doctor that had seen his body, correct?" He asked.

I nodded at him.

"I shouldn't be saying much but as far as I can tell, there is already enough evidence. But in order for the proof to be 100% and so that the father is no doubt guilty, it would be best if he has a medical exam back at the hospital" Michael informed.

"Did he tell you when he was last sexually abused? I know that it's supposed to be confidential information but you know that medical exams can only test recent sexual activity" I explained.

"I'm not sure. I asked but he didn't answer. He only answered the first lot of questions and spent the rest ignoring me" he spoke.

"I'll have a word with him. I might be able to get him to agree to go to the hospital" I said as I walked past Michael.

"Wait" He spoke a little louder.

"Do you suspect that it's happened recently?" he asked.

It was my turn to sigh. But he was a social worker and he was here to help Jasper and hopefully put him in a safe home therefore he should know my suspicions.

"Yesterday, my daughter found him in the woods in an emotional state. I brought him back with me because at that point, I only suspected physical abuse so I thought the father had beaten him. Because of this, I removed his shirt once I got home to see that everything was healing but..." I stopped myself to think of how I should put this.

"But?" Michael encouraged.

"On his left collarbone, there were deep marks of the human teeth. I know that some people in a relationship mark each other like that in a way to say that they belong to each other; but this was violent bite. Besides, Jasper gets increasingly nervous in the presence of a person so I very much doubt that he has a girlfriend to do such a thing to him" I revealed.

"You believe that this was the father?" he asked.

"I know it was" I commented.

At that, I walked back into the office noticing that Jasper hadn't moved from his position. He was biting his knuckles nervously whereas his other hand was clenched strongly. He seemed to be looking at the wall in front of him really hard; like he was trying to focus on burning it down with his own two eyes. To get his attention without frightening him, I walked straight past and seated myself in front of him. His eyes moved to mine.

"They're gonna take me away aren't they?" he spoke quietly.

"You don't want to" I stated.

He said nothing.

"Would you feel comfortable about having a medical exam?" I asked although I already knew the answer as the key word was 'comfortable'.

"No hospitals" He whispered.

"I would be with you" I assured.

"You promised to stay with me today but you lied. Why should I trust you?" He replied harshly.

"Jasper, medical examinations can prove sexual abuse" I informed.

"Now I'm definitely not going" he feared.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I didn't even know what you meant by the examination but now I have a rough idea and I will not let them touch me, especially down there. Only my father is allowed. He owns me, not you. Not anyone else" He began to get angry.

"Jasper, your father is not allowed remember? I told you this. If you don't feel comfortable with it then you don't have to do it. I believe there is enough evidence anyway" I revealed.

He didn't say anything else, he just looked away. Then Charlie walked in with Michael J. Dunn. They both took a seat and I could tell that they had been discussing something.

"For the safety of Jasper, we have agreed to keep him away from his father until we find and question him. From then on, we will discuss the future" Charlie announced.

"I want to go home" Jasper mumbled.

"So where will he go for now?" I asked, ignoring Jasper's unbelievable comment.

"Home" he mumbled again

"I suggest that we temporally take him into care until further notice" Michael commented.

"No, no, no, no, no, no" Jasper started to whisper, tugging at his hair.

Noticing Jasper's sudden panic, I chose to disagree with them.

"He cannot be put with other children or any stranger for that matter. We need to reduce the amount of panic attacks that he has and placing him somewhere full of people he don't know won't help" I stated.

"There isn't much else that we could offer Carlisle" Charlie admitted.

"No. You're not taking me away!" Jasper demanded.

"Jasper, you can't stay with your father. You need to be protected" Michael informed.

Then Jasper smiled. It was more of a crooked grin but it's the first time that I had seen this expression from him despite it being the wrong time for it.

"Alice will protect me" He whispered surely at Michael.

Michael leaned forward in his seat.

"Tell me who Alice is Jasper?" he asked.

"She won't let you hurt me. She won't let anyone hurt me" he said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"My daughter. The one that befriended him" I answered for him.

There face seemed less confused and more understandable now. Michael nodded in realisation.

"She won't let you take me away" he insanely whispered.

As crazy as he was starting to sound, I knew that Alice would hate it if she found out that she would never see Jasper again although she would know that it would be for the better if it takes him away from the father. Michael began to speak again.

"I can't think of any other option, taking him into care seems to be the only answer at the moment and if we don't..."

"I'll take him in" I blurted out.

Michael and Charlie both looked at me whereas Jasper was oblivious to what was going on; thinking of Alice no doubt. I actually hadn't expected myself to say that. I hadn't even thought about it until Esme had started dropping hints this morning but I wasn't even considering it. The child has already proved to be a handful and that hasn't been any longer than 18 hours but despite that, I won't just let them ditch him in a foster home. He would need special attention, especially with his issues.

"Take Jasper's father into questioning and I'll look after him for a few days. Once he is jailed, which I already know will happen, I will continue to look after him until you find a special placement for him" I explained.

They both thought about it.

"I suppose that does sound reasonable" Charlie agreed.

Michael nodded. "Yes, I guess we could do that but that does mean I'll need you to sign a few things and there would also be a regular check up just to make sure that he is gaining weight and that the self harm has stopped"

I nodded at this and then looked back at Jasper. He was, for some odd reason, looking down at his hands as if there was a special pattern on them. It confused me but I decided to get his attention.

"Jasper"

He looked up, his bright blue eyes boring into mine.

"You're coming home with me" I stated.

**Alice POV**

I had spent the whole school day thinking about Jasper. I am still having difficulties of getting him off my mind. I felt terrible after causing him another panic attack. How could I be so stupid? I knew that he had to be handled delicately but no, I have to be a complete idiot and ask him something so personal. I guess that I'm just worried that one day, Jasper will have a panic attack so bad that he would stop breathing. It would destroy me if that ever happened. I was devastated when I first saw his lifeless form on the sand the day he tried to kill himself. But if anything terrible like that ever happens again, life wouldn't be the same. I know that it sounds stupid but now I really know him. I feel close to him in the strangest way and I don't want us to give up on that.

I was sitting on the bed, working on my maths homework when there was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in" I yelled.

I was expecting it to be Edward or Emmett so that they could annoy me but it was my sister Rosalie. She doesn't usually come in my room as she spends most of the time in her own room with Emmett, probably doing stuff that I don't even want to think about. She must have noticed my confused expression because she was first to speak.

"You are an amazing person you know" she stated.

This confused me even more. When Emmett compliment's people, it means he wants something. If Edward compliment's people, he's just plain ass licking. When my parents compliment us, they just want us to feel good about ourselves. The thing is Rosalie never compliments people. She is full of insults.

"It's just, what you have done for Jasper, well nobody else would have done that. Kids stick with the popular just so that they don't become the outcast. If they befriend the one that nobody likes, then they would be disliked too. But you didn't care about popularity. You cared about _him." _

"I don't think he was hated Rose, just misunderstood" I corrected her even though I now fully understood the meaning of her nice words.

"Was there anything in particular that made you want to help him? Did you feel sorry for him or something?" she questioned.

I sighed at her

"I don't know Rose. The first time I laid my eyes on him I just wanted to help him so much" I admitted.

"And now you have. Mum said that Jasper and dad are still at the police station. Hopefully they'll lock that bastard up" She said darkly.

"You say it as if you know everything that has happened to him" I said curiously.

She sighed and looked at the carpet. Wait, she knows something.

"Rosalie, what are you not telling me?" I asked.

She guiltily looked up and thought about what to say.

"I knew"

"Knew what?" I questioned.

"The moment I saw him I knew" she whispered.

"Knew what Rosalie?" I said a little louder, demanding for an answer.

"The sexual abuse" she muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"You know my past right?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded at her. I knew her past about her being raped and pretty much being given away afterwards.

"Well then you should understand. I know what it feels like having the innocence stolen from your body. I even know what it looks like. Every time that I looked at that boy, I saw the male version of me looking back in the invisible mirror between us. The only difference is he has it worse. I was raped once. Just once yet that was enough to destroy me. At the sight of him, I'm sure that it's happening to him countless times. I don't think that I could even handle that" Rose admitted.

_Jasper struggled to handle it_

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"You wouldn't have believed me" She replied confidently.

Just as I was about to reply, I heard the ringing of the door bell. I got up; smiling at Rosalie as I walked passed her to run down the stairs. As I got to the bottom of the staircase, Esme had just opened the door revealing Jasper and Carlisle. I smiled at him walking closer.

"Hey Jazz" I welcomed.

He moved away from Carlisle to stand close by my side. I offered him my hand and he took it without thinking.

"So what did they say?" I asked.

"I want everybody in the main room now so that I can explain things" He announced.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

After waiting for ages for Edward to stop playing on his piano in his room, he finally came downstairs and walked into the main room and sat down.

"Bout damn time" Emmett complained.

"It would have taken longer if it was you and Rosalie in the same room again" Edward murmured back at him.

"Hey, at least I have a sex life" Emmett laughed.

"Enough boys" Carlisle intervened. "I wanted us all here because there is something important that we need to talk about"

"Eddie did it" Emmett interrupted.

Carlisle sighed at him and then carried on. "Nobody has done anything. At least I hope you haven't. Anyway..."

"Dad, I thought this was a family meeting" Emmett interrupted again.

Carlisle sighed a second time and looked at Emmett. "Yes, Emmett we are. But it's not quite a meeting when I can't get to the point of the discussion because I'm constantly being interrupted"

"Oh sorry, but _my_ point, he's not family" Emmett said, nodding at Jasper.

"To right he's not" Edward muttered behind his breath.

I glared at him as I felt Jasper tense at Edward's comment. I hated his dislike towards Jasper. It really annoyed me.

"Maybe it's because the discussion is about him" Carlisle sarcastically suggested.

"But if we're going to talk about him, why is he here? He's not supposed to here, right?" Emmet continued.

"Emmett, Shut up OK? You're an idiot, nobody wants to hear what you have to say because your tiny brain hasn't even processed what you hearing right now. Wait a few minutes, think and _then_ you can say something. Maybe that comment will sound smarter than they usually do" I said to him.

He nodded at me and closed his mouth so Carlisle began again.

"Due to...homing issues, Jasper will be staying with us for a little while" Carlisle announced.

Esme smiled at him proudly.

"You can't be serious" Edward said in a deep tone.

"Edward" I warned.

"Why? Why us? All the people in the world, and it's us that are stuck with him" he said a little louder.

He was talking to Jasper like he was some sort of disease. Jasper tightened the grip that he had on my hand and I noticed that he was trying his hardest to focus breathing properly.

"Edward, shut the hell up!" Rosalie argued.

"This is just temporally Edward" Carlisle said in a warning tone.

"Yeah, at the moment it is. It starts off with a little stay at the Cullen's and then you'll fall in love with him through sympathy and then you'll want to keep him" Edward stated nastily.

Carlisle took one glance at Jasper and that was enough to know that he was on the verge of having a panic attack.

"Alice take Jasper upstairs" He ordered and then turned to Edward, giving him a disapproving look.

I stood up and walked out of the main room dragging Jasper along with me. I felt his hand in mine shake with fear. I led him into my room and sat him on the bed in hope that it would help him relax. I sat with him stroking my thumb over the back of his shaking hand while looking at him, although he was avoiding eye contact.

"He wants to hurt me" he whispered.

He started to hyperventilate. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he had just run a marathon.

"No. No, Jazz don't think like that. Breathe" I instructed. "He wouldn't even try it" I added.

I never thought that my brother could be so nasty. I always saw him as a nice person but as soon as Jasper came on the scene, he just seems to be so... I don't know. He's just changed. Was he jealous? If he knew the whole truth about Jasper, Jealousy would be the last emotion he would be feeling.

"You won't let him hurt me?" he questioned, now gazing into my eyes.

_Too right I wouldn't _I thought threateningly.

"I won't let anybody ever hurt you again" I promised.

He smiled at me, finally relaxing. But then the smile disappeared, being replaced with a frown.

"I'm sorry Alice" he whispered.

"What for?" I asked.

"For troubling your family" he mumbled.

"No, Jasper stop thinking like that. Don't listen to that idiot. Well, the _other _idiot" I corrected as I remembered Emmett.

"I swear, I tried to get them to take me back but they weren't listening to me" he continued.

"Jasper, you shouldn't want to go back to him. You're safer here. I prefer it when you're here" I admitted.

"I'm not a good person Alice. I have done many sick and dis..."

I put my finger on his lips so that he would stop talking. He tensed but relaxed soon after as his beautiful blue eyes sunk into my brown ones. I then removed my index finger but the gaze continued. Jasper began to tilt his head questioningly as he started to move his fingers round my own.

_Am I allowed to do this?_ He silently asked.

I smiled back at him. _Yes._

I released one of my hands from his grip so that they could reach his face; the back of my fingers stroked his left cheek. The movement made him a little nervous but he leaned into it, finally breaking our gaze as he closed his eyes with a smile ending our short silent conversation. The gesture told me that he was relaxed and enjoying the touch on his cheek. I smiled, knowing that he had already made quite an improvement. He use to never let me touch him and now it relaxes him. I moved a little closer to him so that we were inches apart.

"Jasper?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Do you trust me?" I asked quietly.

"With my life" he whispered back.

"You know that I won't hurt you, right?" I double checked.

"You keep me safe" he replied with another whisper.

With enough confidence, and hoping that he wouldn't freak out, I pressed my lips to his lightly. There was no kiss back but then again, I didn't expect one. Especially because to him, it just came from out of the blue. I pulled back to see that his eyes were now open. He tilted his head again and opened his mouth to speak though no voice came from his mouth.

"Did it make you feel uncomfortable?" I asked hoping that he would answer me honestly.

He continued to look at me questioningly and it started to make me nervous. Was that wrong?

"Jasper?"

"I... Um, a little" he admitted.

"I'm Sorry Jazz. I just..."

I was stopped with a kiss. He actually kissed back. It started with one but then as I began to kiss back, our mouths started to mould into each other. I had never kissed anybody before. I thought it was best to say myself for that someone special.

_He is that someone_

I had never felt like this before. I didn't expect a kiss to feel so... great! But then I started to feel Jasper shake against me and I pulled back immediately, seeing if he was Ok. He looked so nervous. Was I forceful?

"Jasper?"

"I'm sorry. It's not you, I'm sorry" he panted.

"Hey it's Ok. Don't be sorry Jazz" I pleaded.

"I just... I'm not use to...to gentle lips" he stammered.

He wasn't use to _gentle _lips? His dad kissed him? Now I felt extremely terrible. Of course kissing him would make him nervous, it's reminding him of his pervert father.

"Oh Jazz. It's alright. You don't need to explain yourself; I understand" I assured as I cupped his face.

He seemed hesitant at what he was going to say next but then he spoke. "I really liked it though"

I smiled at him which he returned with the cutest grin; showing of his adorable dimple which I had never noticed before.

Maybe this could work after all.

**SUPRISE! What do you guys think? Was it good? Do you love it? Did you guys expect it? (I didn't expect it until I put them in the room together and I just thought 'Meh, let's make our little Jasper happy for once')**

**Reviews please. I have been spending 4 hours on this and I believe I deserve a descent amount.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you guys for your awesome reviews! I'm glad you loved the previous chapter like I sure did!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight **

**Edward's POV**

After Alice had half dragged Jasper up the stairs, Carlisle turned and looked at me disapprovingly.

"What's going on Edward? You're usually the most reasonable person in the house" he said.

"Yeah dude, what's got up your ass?" Emmett teased.

I sighed and look towards the stairs and then back at them. I absolutely hated the idea of Jasper staying here with us. Why did Carlisle take him in? He isn't anything special. Alice has no idea what she is getting herself into. It just confuses me why she felt so drawn to him.

"He's just...I don't...There's something about him that I don't like. I don't know what it is but..." he stuttered.

"You're Jealous" Emmett interrupted.

"Of what? I'm happy with myself and life. What is there to be jealous of?" I asked.

"Your sister's attention" Emmet answered.

"Emmett, your mouth is full of..."

"It's true isn't it? Jasper stole Alice from you and now you're missing the bond that you always had together. You hate that Alice has finally found a guy she likes other than her brother" Emmett said as-a-matter-of-factly.

It may have been the smartest answer that he has ever come up with but it's not true. I'm not jealous.

"Emmett, I swear to god, if you don't shut up, I will..."

"Enough Edward" Carlisle intervened. "You may not like it but Jasper needs somebody to look after him for the time being. A place where he feels the most comfortable and preferably _with_ somebody that makes him feel that way" he explained.

"Your just encouraging him" I muttered.

"Encouraging him how?" Carlisle questioned.

"Alice is my sister, your daughter; not _his _bodyguard" I stated.

"Alice isn't his bodyguard, she's his angel" Rosalie suddenly whispered.

I turned to look at her. Was she insane?

"I don't even know what you guys are thinking anymore" I said.

"No Edward, you make it sound like were the ones changing our attitude. You're the one that is changing" Emmett noted.

"Look Edward, the whole point of this is to actually knock some sense into you. I need you to promise me that despite your dislike towards Jasper, you will not say the slightest thing to him that would upset him in anyway" Carlisle firmly begged.

He was only worried because he knew how easy it was to scare Jasper off. If I was to just threaten him, he would go running back where he came from; wherever that was.

"That's a very difficult task" I sighed.

It really was. It was so tempting to just go up those stairs and yell at him to get out of the house right now.

"Promise me Edward" he said a little louder.

"Fine, whatever" I raised my hands in surrender.

I don't understand why Carlisle even care so much about that anti-social idiot. Yes, he is a doctor and cares for many people but I don't like the way he is starting to treat Jasper as his own child.

"If anything does happen, Edward and you break that promise, I would be very disappointed in you. You know how delicate he is and saying such negative things to him will damage him" Carlisle warned.

"Ok, I get. No bad comments to Alice's nervous shadow" I sighed annoyed.

"Good. Now, all of you make sure that your homework is completed before your mother serves dinner for you" he advised as he stood up, ending the meeting.

I chose to head to my room. Maybe my piano will take my mind off things. I ran up the stairs and went into my room. As soon as I was in there, I lifted the lid off my piano and sat down so that I could play but just as I began to press the first note, Alice barged in without knocking.

"What the hell do you think you were playing at?" she asked angrily.

"Not you too" I complained.

"Yes, me too. What has Jasper done to deserve such a horrible behaviour from you huh? He's a good person Edward and he is special to me. Stop trying to destroy that" she continued.

"Alice, he's using you as a shield from others like he thinks that everyone is going to hurt him. He doesn't see you the way you see him" I argued.

"You know nothing" She replied quietly. "Just... just stay away from us"

He really was taking her away from me. It just hurt to hear her say it.

"Alice, get out of my room" I whispered.

She glared at me before storming out acting the way Rosalie usually does when she can't get her own way. I sighed at myself. I'm not the sort of person who would get into physical fights but I really wanted to hit him. I wanted to scream in his face and tell him how he was beginning to ruin our lives.

I placed my finger back on the key, playing a tune on the piano and then I started to extend it. Just as I was about to play the 2nd chorus, I was interrupted again.

"Hey. You. Me. Xbox. Now" Emmett demanded as he barged into my room.

"Not now Emmett, I'm busy" I replied grounding my teeth together.

"Busy sulking" he mumbled back.

"Go away" I hissed at him.

"Come on dude, stop being boring. Give me just a few games of modern warfare 3 and then I'll leave you alone" Emmett begged.

"Fine" I sighed

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxox

Despite Emmett asking for a _few _games, we spent the next few hours killing each other and Emmett complaining about constantly getting owned.

"Dude, come on stop camping. I hate people that do that" Emmett said as I got a headshot.

"I'm not camping. I'm just, you know, hanging around in the same place" I said killing him again.

"Alright that does it, I'm using a sniper. Here comes the quick scoping pro" he bragged.

Rosalie walked into Emmett's room, turning off the Xbox.

"Awww, babe you serious?" Emmett complained.

"Dinner's ready" she stated and then walked straight back out.

I put the Xbox controller away before leaving his room making my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

**Alice POV**

Me and Jasper had spent the rest of our time sitting silently together, letting him play with my hands which was another habit that he had but it was as cute a his head tilting one. There was a light tap on the door which was opened just a second after.

"Dinner is ready. Jasper, my mum has done you soup, is that Ok?" she asked him softly.

He didn't seem to notice Rosalie's voice. He just looked down at my hands, tracing the pattern.

"Jasper" I said.

He lifted his head up to look at me.

"Is soup Ok?" I repeated Rose's question.

"Not hungry" he whispered and then looked back down at my hand again.

I released one of my hands from his grip so that I could lift his chin with my finger.

"You have got to eat Jazz or it'll only get worse" I told him.

He then turned around and looked at Rosalie who was still standing in the door way. He held a long stare at her and then turned backed to me.

"She safe?" he whispered.

"It's Ok Jasper, everybody in this house is very nice. Even Edward will be soon, just give it a few days" I assured.

He nodded in an uncertain way.

"What soup is it?" he asked me.

"Mushroom soup. Do you like that stuff?" Rosalie answered, hearing his question.

He turned to look at her a second time. I guess he was just confused as to why she was being friendly since he is only use to me and Carlisle talking to him. He nervously nodded at her. I couldn't tell whether he either actually hated mushroom soup but was too afraid to say so or he hasn't even tried it before due to lack of food that he has been given. There couldn't have been much of a variety of food that he has eaten. It made me feel sad for him. To Jasper, food was just something you eat. Flavour wasn't important; it was just filling up your stomach.

"Ok" she said, smiling sympathetically at him before she walked away.

"We should head downstairs" I spoke.

Jasper took a deep breath before he spoke, meaning what he was about to say was a nervous thought.

"He scares me" he whispered shamefully.

"Edward?" I questioned.

He nodded.

"You'll sit next to me" I assured.

"I don't like it when he looks at me" he admitted.

I think 'glared' is the word he is looking for. I loved the fact that he was opening up to me and not afraid to tell me about what is frightening him. He should definitely do that more often.

"Wait there just a second" I said as I rushed out of my room and down the stairs to where Esme is.

"Mum, can me and Jasper have our dinner upstairs?" I asked her.

"I don't know sweetie. I don't really like you lot eating in your rooms" she replied.

"I'll bring our plates straight down once we have finished eating them" I begged.

She thought about it.

"Please mum, Edward has really freaked him out" I admitted.

"Alright, fine" she gave in. "Oh but one more thing. Despite last night, now that Jasper is staying with us, he isn't going to be staying in your room" she warned.

"So where is he going to sleep?" I questioned.

"Well, certainly not in Edward's room but I should be able to convince Emmett to let him in his again until I sort one of the spare rooms out so that it's suitable for him" she said.

I nodded at her.

"Ok, I'll let him know" I replied as I picked up my plate and Jasper's bowl of soup to take up stairs.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I ate my food slowly so that I was matching Jasper's pace. I noticed that he kept curiously looking at me food every now and again like he was comparing the differences.

"What is that?" he suddenly asked.

"This?" I questioned as I pointed at my half empty plate.

He nodded.

"Lasagne" I answered.

"Oh"

I was a little confused. Did he not know what lasagne was.

"You haven't had this before?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe when I was younger" he guessed.

"Do you want to try some?" I offered.

He shook his head at me and then placed the spoon back in the bowl to show that he was full. He hadn't eaten much but I guess he has a very small appetite. I smiled at him and then thought that I should tell him about the whole sleep thing as it was now dark outside.

"How do you feel about my brother Emmett?" I started.

He shrugged. "You keep me safe"

"I mean... without me" I corrected hesitantly.

He looked at me with panicked eyes. "Don't go. Don't leave me. Alice, don't leave me" he began to shake.

"Hey Jasper, listen to me. I'm not leaving you Ok.

"You protect me. Alice, they'll hurt me. They'll hurt me if you go. Please don't go" He panicked.

Tears began to roll down his cheeks as he got increasingly nervous. I chose that moment wrap my arms around him so that he was close to me. He gripped the back of my shirt, holding on like there was nothing left in the world.

"Shhhh, it's Ok Jasper" I hushed.

After a moment of silence, he relaxed and let go so I pulled back from him, looking through his beautiful eyes.

"You're not allowed to sleep with me tonight" I whispered sadly at him.

"Should I sleep at home?" he asked.

"No. No Jazz, how many times do we have to tell you this; you are never to enter that house again, understand?" I ordered firmly.

He nodded

"I'm sorry, I just... Emmett? Is that where umm..."

"Yeah, would you feel comfortable in his room tonight? He's a really nice person Jasper, he wouldn't hurt a fly" I assured.

"But I need you" He firmly stated.

His eyes gazed into mine and it was like they were hypnotising me; forcing me to listen to him. He did need me and I would have let him sleep in my room again tonight but it wasn't allowed.

"I'll stay with you until you're asleep" I offered.

"But who will protect me when I _am_ asleep?" he asked curiously.

I sighed at him.

"Jazz, the whole family is here to protect you" I told him.

"No. Only you" He said confidently.

"You won't sleep in this house unless I'm with you yet you're willing to sleep on your own in a house that you share with your abuser"

I immediately regretted saying that as I noticed Jasper shut down on me as he moved away and moves his eyes away from mine and looking down at the floor. He was focusing hard on his breathing but he kept taking glances at where my body was to make sure that I wasn't moving any closer.

"Jazz"

"I want to go home" he demanded darkly.

"Jazz, that isn't possible"

"I said I want to go home!" He repeated louder.

"Jasper, what is wrong with you? After everything that he has done and you still want to go back?" I questioned.

"He did nothing wrong!" He shouted.

"Jasper, calm down" I told him.

"He is the only person that actually treats me the way I should be treated" he continued.

"You know that's not true Jasper. Nobody deserves to be treated like that" I said, trying to get him to at least quieten down but I didn't do it fast enough as Edward suddenly slammed the door open making Jasper back towards the wall.

"What's going on?" Edward asked glaring at Jasper.

"Get out Edward" I ordered him.

"No" he refused, not taking his eyes off the tortured soul.

"I said get out" I repeated.

"And I said no".

Edward began to walk into my room, getting closer to Jasper.

"You're gonna make him hurt me" Jasper stated.

"What?" Edward asked.

"No Jazz, you know I wouldn't do that" I replied firmly.

I noticed that Jasper began to lower his body into the corner of my room and place his hands above his head like he was expecting Edward to hit him. He was now shaking uncontrollably although miraculously, he was keeping his breathing even. Edward crouched to his level.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Edward nastily asked.

"Edward, leave him alone" I demanded.

"Look at yourself. Is this how your always gonna be when you aren't clinging onto my sister?" he continued.

"Edward, just walk away" I interrupted.

He had no idea about Jasper. He had no clue that he was making himself look like an abuser right now.

"What are you gonna do once they send you away huh? Because Alice won't be there" He whispered.

Jasper looked up at Edward, and then I noticed what he was doing. Without us noticing, he had managed to slip one of his hands in his pocket. I was horrified at the following sight. The pocket knife that he had yesterday was pulled out and then he exposed his neck. Moving his gaze on to mine he pressed the sharp blade against it.

**Cliff hanger...**

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	26. Chapter 26

**WARNING: Triggering chapter ahead.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper's POV**

I wasn't going to let him hurt me. Only father was allowed. Father and myself.

"Stay back" I warned.

Edward held no intention in moving forward. Good. Alice on the other hand looked really hesitant. I could tell that she wanted to grab the knife off me but I wouldn't let her. She promised me that I would be safe. He's going to hurt me and I doubt that she would stop him. I had the knife pressed against my neck but there wasn't yet enough force to cut into it. Cutting into the neck will cause sudden blood loss, killing you almost instantly. I could do it right here. I wanted to, I really did.

"Jazz please, put the knife down" Alice begged.

I noticed the tear fall from her eyes. Why was she crying? I was so confused.

"I'm getting dad" Edward muttered turning away.

I suddenly stood.

"Do it and I'll kill myself" I threatened.

He probably didn't even care. Killing yourself in front of somebody that absolutely hates you is enjoyable for them but humiliating for yourself. Did I really want to show weakness in front of this guy?

"Edward, don't move" Alice demanded.

"He's bluffing Alice. He's doing it for attention;_ your_ attention" He stated back.

I felt like using the knife on him. I wanted to stab him all over. I wanted to hear him scream in pain. I wasn't doing this for attention. Attention was the last thing that I wanted. I wanted the world to leave me alone. I just wanted to go back home to my original life. I want the punishment that I deserve. I _need_ to be punished. My hand was shaking uncontrollably and I was trying my hardest to stop it but I couldn't.

"He's not bluffing Edward and this has nothing to do with attention. You know nothing about him. Just stay where you are" Alice begged him.

I looked behind me to look at Alice's bedroom window. I could jump out like I did this morning. At least if I run from them, I won't need to punish myself in front of them and show how weak I am.

"Jasper, listen to me. You don't want to do this. _I _don't want you to do this" she cried.

"You're lying! You don't want me. Only father wants me" I whispered the last part.

I still held the knife at my neck and it had pierced my skin a little, drawing blood. It wasn't deep enough to do any serious harm but feeling the pain made me realise how much I missed cutting myself.

"Jazz, that's not true" she whispered.

I walked a little to the side but kept my back to the wall and the knife at my neck. My free hand felt for the handle on the window. As soon as I grabbed it, I pushed it open enough so that I would be able to squeeze through the gap. Now for the difficult part; turning my back on them.

"Don't even think about" Edward warned darkly.

"Jazz please, don't go" Alice begged.

I pressed the knife deeper as Edward made a move forward.

"Stay back. Stay the fuck back!" I yelled.

Yelling wasn't exactly the best thing to do when everyone else had no idea what was going on. If they heard me, they will be getting curious. Edward took a step back and I took this as my chance. As fast as I could, I leapt up on to the window ledge after shoving the knife back into my pocket and without hesitation; I jumped down onto the grass. Then I ran.

I ran as fast as I could, refusing to stop. How many more times was I going to run away? I had no idea where I was going to go. Should I return back to my father? I needed to feel pain. I deserve to feel it. I'm such a sick and disgusting person. I ruin everybody's lives. I shouldn't blame Edward for wanting to hurt me. Maybe he knows what a weakling I am. But no matter how bad I want to feel it, I refuse to let anybody hurt me unless it's my father. He owns me; therefore he can do whatever he wants to me.

I kept on running. My legs felt like they were going to collapse at any moment but I can't let that happen. Many things ran through my head but it was all about the same person.

Alice

Why did she save me that day? Did she believe that I hadn't received all of my punishments yet? No! Alice cares; I think. I have never felt the way I do when I'm around her but I have no idea what it was. I guess it was because it was so unfamiliar but it doesn't matter now. I'll keep away from her. She should protect people that are worth protecting; people that deserve her company.

Almost there

Why did she kiss me earlier? I didn't expect her to do that, especially because my eyes were closed. It actually scared me at first. I thought that she was going to do something that only my father is allowed to do but when she pulled back, I wanted her to do it again. I had no idea what was going through my crazy mind at that moment so I kissed her back. I guess after a while I couldn't handle it much longer. Was it wrong for the fact that at that specific moment, horribly images of my father came into my head? I knew that she noticed when she pulled back. But back to my point, why would she do that? I had never felt such caring lips before; they didn't feel the slightest bit forceful yet I still felt that strange emotion coming from her that I never felt from anyone else before.

Thinking of Alice had passed the time and before I knew it, the house was in front of me but I suddenly stopped. There was a police car outside of the house and the door had looked like it had been broken down. They've took him. Why? I backed away and hid into the forest area, sinking to my knees. My father didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault. If I wasn't such a messed up freak, everything would be ok.

I screamed in frustration and started to pull my hair as tears role down my cheeks.

"All my fault. This is all my fault" I whispered.

I was so angry at myself. I was only ever born to destroy the lives of others. I took deep breathes to calm myself down enough to concentrate. Once I was focused enough, I pulled the knife back out of my pocket. What would I do without this thing?

Almost as soon as I got it out, I slashed it against my skin without even thinking. I usually do this nice and slow but I was so desperate for it. I repeated the movement many more times until the whole of my left arm was covered in blood. I felt so dizzy but I forced myself awake. I still had the right arm to go. This time, the blade cut into my skin slower as the pain in my left arm had calmed my craving down a little. I started above the vein on my wrist. I didn't want to cut that just yet although I might bleed to death before I even try it. After each cut, I moved the pocket knife up about an inch so that my arm had a stripy pattern carved into it. I continued to do this until I reached my upper arm.

I dropped the knife to the floor and stretched my arms in front of me to view them. I chuckled at the sight. I have no idea why though; it wasn't exactly funny. But the chuckle followed by more tears. It was the right thing to run but I still craved something else and it wasn't pain. I wanted to feel that strange but incredible emotion again. I wanted _her._

I _needed _her.

**Carlisle POV**

"Hello?" I said as I answered the phone.

"Hello Carlisle, its Charlie" he replied.

"Oh, hello Charlie"

"Look Carlisle, there is some bad news" he said disappointed.

"What is it?" I questioned down the phone.

"The house is empty, the car is gone and there was nobody inside"

"Are we talking about who I think you are talking about" I asked a little worried.

"We can't find Jasper's father, Carlisle. I think he has made a runner" he guessed. "This isn't information that we would just hand out to anybody. I'm telling you this because Jasper may be in danger. I need you to be aware of that" Charlie warned.

I couldn't believe that this was happening. Did he run completely or was he just hiding out, ready to snatch Jasper at the chance he gets.

I heard a shout come from upstairs.

"Alright, Charlie I have to go. Thank you for the warning. I won't let him near Jasper again, I'll make sure of it" I promised.

"Alright then, bye" he said as he hung up.

I made a move toward's the stairs to see what was going on but then all of a sudden, I heard somebody's bedroom door force open.

"Dad!" I heard two of my kids shout as they sprinted down the stairs.

It was Alice and Edward. Edward looked like he had seen a ghost whereas Alice's eyes were flooded with tears.

"Dad he's gone!" she cried.

"He jumped out her window" Edward added.

I knew immediately who they were talking about. Talk about timing. The moment I knew I needed to keep him at his safest and then he decides to make a run for it. I needed to find him before his father does.

"Dad, I swear we tried to stop him but he was gonna slit his throat if we moved closer" Edward spoke as fast as he could.

"What do you mean slit his throat?" I said as soon as I realised what he had said.

"He used that knife he had yesterday" he whispered. "He said that if we came any closer he would kill himself"

I could have avoided this. I should have taken that knife off him even if it would have scared him and now I deeply regret it. How could I be so stupid? I couldn't believe that he threatened to kill himself though. I knew that he was a self harmer but not suicidal. Did I miss any signs?

"_I'll jump if you make me go"_

I suddenly remember the threat he made this morning when I found him in one of the trees in the back yard. Did he actually mean that? Surely not. Maybe he threatened them because he wanted to scare them off. But then again, with a life as troubled as his, there is that possibility.

"What direction did he head in" I asked as I quickly put my shoes and coat on.

"We didn't look, we just ran straight down here" Edward answered.

I had a rough idea where he was heading anyway. I just hope that his father isn't anywhere near their home.

"I'm coming with you" Alice suddenly spoke up.

As much as I knew that Jasper may need Alice now, I couldn't let her come with me. I just found out that he threatened suicide and he is a self harmer that ran away with a knife still with him. I couldn't imagine the state that he would be in right now and if it's as bad as I feel it is, I had to make Alice stay at home.

"No. You're staying here" I demanded.

I then opened the front door to find that it was raining heavily but I didn't let that stop me from sprinting out to the car. I opened the car door, put the key into the ignition, put my seatbelt on, and then drove out of the driveway, driving as fast as legally possible.

I knew exactly where I was driving. The place that Jasper still considered home but I knew it didn't feel like it. It took me just ten minutes to get there, and I got out at the second the car came to a halt. There was a police car outside of the house, no doubt Charlie probably looking for any obvious evidence inside to see if the house was either abandoned or the father had just gone out for a couple of hours.

I let myself in the house.

"Charlie?" I called.

Charlie stepped out of the kitchen a second later.

"Carlisle, What are you doing here?" He curiously asked.

"Jasper's gone and I'm worried that he's going to hurt himself" I said in a worried tone.

"Oh no. Alright umm, do you have any idea where he could be?" Charlie asked.

"Somewhere around this place" I answered looking around. "He has a knife and he isn't in a good state of mind" I informed.

"Alright, I'll contact the station and we'll start a search party" he stated.

I nodded at him. "I'll start looking now. I need to find him" I said.

I jogged out of the house and looked around. A bit like our house, it was in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by trees.

"Where are you Jasper?" I whispered.

I began to search the area facing to the north as my instincts seem to have led me there. Remembering Jasper in the trees, I looked up in them hoping to see those innocent blue eyes looking back at me but there was nothing.

"Jasper" I called.

I jogged forward again and made sure that my eyes covered the ground and trees in front of me. Still nothing. I kept moving quickly as my eyes flickered to everything that could give me a clue to where Jasper was. Maybe there could be a foot print. Maybe he dropped the knife. There had to be something.

"Jasper, please!" I shouted.

I moved further into the woods, still observing every movement and then my eyes suddenly landed on something.

Or _Someone_

I suddenly sprinted to the body lying limp on the ground and I didn't have to be too close to notice the amount of blood.

"Oh no,no,no,no,no" I suddenly panicked as I neared him.

I moved his body so that he was lying on his back and I checked for a pulse. I felt like I was hurting him when I grabbed his wrist. It was so cut up. I had never seen anything like it. I sighed in relief when I felt a faint pulse. I removed my belt so that I could wrap it tightly around his left arm but for the right arm, I had to rip off one of his sleeves so I could stop the bleeding on that arm.

I then took my phone out of my pocket and rung for an ambulance. After giving them all of the details, I lifted him into my arms.

"S..Sor..Sorry" I heard a struggled whispered.

I looked down and saw the blue eyes looking back at me.

"Why Jasper?" I whispered back.

"I do..don't know. I don't wa...want t...to die an...anymore" he painfully said as he slowly closes his eyes, falling unconscious.

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	27. Chapter 27

**I apologise for the later update, I was just waiting until I was happy with the amount of reviews as I have noticed that I am beginning to lack in them... just saying.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Alice POV**

I hated not knowing. I hated not being able to do something. And most of all was that I hated sitting in a waiting room in the hospital, not hearing any news on Jasper. What was he thinking? Why would he just run away like that although I have promised him countless times that everything is going to be ok? I absolutely hate what his father did to him. Not just for the abuse but for also mentally destroying him. When Carlisle revealed to us that he was in the hospital, I knew automatically that it was because he had done something stupid. Why did life have to be so difficult for him?

"He's going to be Ok Alice?" Edward assured me.

I turned to glare at him. This was all his fault. If he had just left Jasper alone like we had all told him to, this would have never of happened.

"I don't even want to talk to you right now" I said.

"Look, Alice I'm sorry Ok. I knew he was messed up but not _that _messed up" he replied.

"He is not messed up, he has just had a hard life" I corrected.

"Yeah well, you know more than I do" he stated.

"And you're using that as an excuse to talking to him like that?" I questioned.

"Alice, all I'm saying is that I know absolutely nothing about him. He act's different from the others; he carries a fucking knife with him. How can you expect me to not worry about that? He is dangerous and if he had ever hurt you, I would be the one to put him in the hospital" Edward spoke.

"He's not like that Edward. He wouldn't ever hurt anybody but himself. He just... he needs to know that somebody actually cares for him" I said quietly.

Edward didn't reply so I turned away thinking that the conversation was over but after a minute of silence, I heard his voice again.

"What happened to him?" he whispered.

"Why should I tell you; it wouldn't change your attitude towards him will it?" I hissed at him.

"I just hate the fact that everybody in this family seems to know but me" he replied.

"Not everybody. Emmett and mum also don't know everything"

"They certainly know more than I do" he pointed out.

"For crying out loud Edward, he's being abused Ok. There, now you know as much as Emmett"

He went silent again. I hated telling Edward, even if it was hardly any information compared to everything else that Jasper is going through.

"So umm... what kind of abuse" he asked.

Why did he have to be so smart? If this was Emmett, he would have just left it that. He probably doesn't even know that there are different kinds of abuse because he is so idiotic but Edward on the other hand always thinks things through carefully and takes words in. Damn I hated that.

"Forget it Edward, that's all the information I am giving you. Jasper would hate me telling anyone anything, especially you" I spit back.

The door of the waiting room opened, stopping any further comments that Edward was planning on making.

"Dad!" I shouted as I stood from my seat and ran to him.

"Is he Ok" I mumbled into his shirt as I hugged him.

"We had to give him a blood transfusion to replace the blood that he lost, he is still unconscious but other than that, he will be fine" Carlisle said in Dr mode.

I smiled at this. I had been in here for hours, just to hear him tell me that.

"Can I see him?" I asked as I pulled away from his comfort.

"Are you ready to?" he double checked.

I nodded eagerly. I noticed that Edward stood too.

"Alright then, follow me and I'll take you to him" Carlisle instructed, turning around and heading out of the door.

Once we reached the room of where Jasper was, I slowed down. I wasn't sure how bad he would look but know I was about to find out. I'm sure that the Doctors and nurses did their best to fix him up and make him well again; I just wish that fixing him mentally was just as easy. The door opened and my eyes darted towards the beautiful figure lying in the hospital bed. I instantly walked to his side to get a closer look at him. His arms were bandaged up from his wrists all the way up to the part just above his elbow. He was hooked to many different machines and his face was deathly pale.

I sat down on the chair right by his bed and took his hand. I knew how much he loved it when I touched his hands and I wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible, conscious or not. If this was the one thing that makes him feel that why, then I will do it with no hesitation.

"When will he wake up?" I asked.

"That depends on him. Some patients take longer to wake than others" Carlisle informed.

But I wanted him to wake up now. I want to tell him how stupid he was and how much this would have upset me if he never opened his eyes again. I wanted him to wake up just so I know for sure that he would be OK.

"Dr Cullen, can I have a word with you please?" another doctor asked as they opened the door.

Carlisle followed the man outside and I suddenly got curious.

"It's almost as if I can read your mind" I heard a voice say.

Of course, I forgot about Edward. I let go of Jasper's hand as I moved closer to the door.

"Alice, I really don't think you should be eavesdropping" Edward warned.

I glared at him and put my finger to my lips. Then I listened to what they were saying.

"Carlisle, this was no doubt a suicide attempt and even if it wasn't, self harming is a serious issue. He should be kept on psyche hold." the man whispered.

"The boy just isn't thinking right at the moment. He has had a bad life and I will turn that around for him. He just need's time" Carlisle replied.

"Time? He needs to be taken to a mental institution. A bad life is exactly why. It has affected him badly Carlisle and if he doesn't go, he isn't going to get any better he is going to get worse"

"Look, I will be putting him on medication and getting him counselling. If he hasn't made any improvements after that, then I will consider it but for now, I _know _this isn't right for him. He needs to be given another chance. Trust me on this one" Carlisle pleaded.

I didn't hear a reply so I had the feeling that the conversation was over so I sat back down in the chair and grabbed Jasper's hand again. He isn't bad enough to be sent to a mental institution is he? He just got a bit depressed, that's all. I lifted his hand up to my lips and pressed my lips against the ice cold skin. I wish that he would just wake up. Carlisle then walked in again.

"Alright, your mother is here to pick you two up. You have school in the morning and I don't want you oversleeping" Carlisle instructed.

"Can I see him tomorrow?" I asked giving him my puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, after school that is" Carlisle answered.

I gave Jasper's hand a second kiss and then left his side. As I walked out of the door, I turned to take one last glance at his lifeless form and it was difficult to look away.

"Come on Alice" Edward sighed. And then I followed him out of the hospital.

**DAY 2 (Still in Alice's POV)**

This had to be one of the slowest days of my life. I knew that in order to make the school lessons to seem faster, I would just need to concentrate but with Jasper in hospital, it was impossible to think of anything else. I needed to know that he was alright. I even rang Carlisle at lunch. It was a good job that he was on his break because he had answered his phone and told me that everything was fine and the best news was that he was awake and the colour was beginning to come back into his face. That cheered me up and was enough information to let me carry on through the rest of the school day. The moment that I got into Emmett's car, I begged him to drive me there instead of waiting later and as Emmett is the kindest of my siblings, he drove there without hesitation but of course that meant that Rosalie and Edward were tagging along as well.

I soon rushed to his hospital room now that I knew exactly where it was. When I opened the door his eyes were half open but he hadn't noticed me. I neared him and sat down in the chair by the bed. I took his hand and with that, he slowly turned his head and weakly smiled.

"Alice" he whispered

"Oh Jazz"

I forced back the tears that were trying to fall. I noticed Edward waiting outside. He probably doesn't want to freak Jasper out which is good because his common sense has finally kicked in. Rosalie was in the corner of the room and with Emmett who had his arms wrapped around her.

"Sorry Alice" he whispered.

"Alice, me and Em are just going to go and get a coffee. Do you want me to bring you back a cup?" Rosalie offered.

I knew the real reason behind it was to give me and Jasper some privacy.

"No thanks Rose" I answered.

She smiled at me and then left the room. Now the room was empty, I turned back to Jasper.

"Why did you do that Jasper?" I asked, my tears now betraying me.

"I'm sorry Alice, I'm so sorry" he weakly spoke.

My free hand moved to stroke his hair.

"Everything was going to get better Jazz. Doing this has just made it worse" I informed.

He gave me a panicked expression.

"They're gonna let my dad have me again?" he asked getting worked up.

Jasper really did confuse me. One moment he wants to go home and the next, he doesn't.

"No, no, no, no, no Jasper, nothing like that" I reassured.

"Then what?" he questioned.

As if on cue, Carlisle walked in.

"Hello Jasper, how are you feeling?" He asked.

Jasper turned his gaze to Carlisle but didn't say anything.

"Dad, what happens now?" I asked knowing that the same question was in Jasper's head.

He looked at Jasper so that he was talking to him.

"You will be in here for the next few days Jasper and unfortunately on suicide watch" he informed.

"And then I can get out of here?" Jasper whispered.

"No, not necessarily. When you get out of here depends on you. We need to know if you are mentally well enough to be released. I will be putting you on tricyclic antidepressants but it will be a while until they actually start to take effect. This will also help with your panic disorder. But for now, once you are physically well enough, you will be placed in a psych ward" Carlisle informed.

"I don't want to go" Jasper replied as he tried to shift himself up and remove his IV tube.

Carlisle moved forward to stop him but as he neared, Jasper forced himself to move as far as he could from him.

"Jasper, that's not a good idea" Carlisle warned.

"No! I don't want to be here. I want to get out of this place" Jasper shouted.

"Jasper, listen to me. If you want to get out of here, this is the wrong way to go. You have to stay calm for me and be patient. That way, you can get out of here faster. If you start to act out of control like this, they will put you in restraint so that you can't take your IV out and if there are no improvements in your state, after the psych ward, they will put you in a mental institution. Do you want that?" Carlisle asked.

Jasper was silent for a while, just staring at Carlisle and trying to think of a reply. I felt really bad for him. He was going through so much and I swear I would help him through this no matter what happens. I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb to let him know that I was still here and that everything was Ok.

"No, I don't want that" He whispered.

"Then trust me on this Jasper. Do not do anything stupid and if you even think about doing anything like that again, talk to me. You do know that I'm here for you, right?" Carlisle assured him.

Jasper nodded slightly.

"Alright, I'll leave you two together while I'll go and see other patients, and Alice? Don't stay here too long" He told me.

I just rolled my eyes at him. Carlisle turned to leave the room but as he opened the door Jasper spoke up.

"Carlisle"

Carlisle turned to look Jasper's way and raised his eyebrow.

"When I do get out of here, will I still...Umm...well, will you still let me stay at your house?" he innocently asked.

"Of course I will Jasper, you will always be welcome there" Carlisle assured him.

And then he smiled; that cute smile that showed off his little dimple. I even smiled with him. It was almost as if he could control my emotions. Every time he panicked, I always felt the same because I knew how bad his attack could get. When I saw him cry, it made me wasn't to as well. Seeing him sad upset me too but when he smiled, it lit up the room. It made me happy because I knew that for once, he was happy. Maybe he has actually realised that my family is nothing like the horrible one he grew up in.

**OK, so the more reviews, the quicker the next update. I already have it typed up, I am just waiting for the reviews to kick in of people telling me how evil I am for not updating it sooner or pretty much begging me to update right now. So... REVIEW! (And soon, because I really do want to give you the next chapter!)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you to those who cared to review. I'm glad to hear that you guys are loving my story **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**Jasper POV**

After spending a few days in the hospital bed, I was moved into some other place in the hospital in which they made me change into some sort of white suit. Carlisle promised me that this was only temporally and depending on how I'm coping would decide on whether I would get to leave this place or be sent to a proper mental institution. I already felt like I was in one. I wasn't allowed anything in my room that could be a suicide threat and I had to have somebody with me when I went to the bathroom. When they had first told me that, I freaked. I couldn't stand the idea of doing something supposedly private when somebody had to accompany me and what if one of these people was like my father. They could hurt me and nobody would know. In the end, Carlisle was called to calm me down and he did so by negotiating with the others who were suppose to be looking after me and said that he would be the one to take me to the bathroom. I knew Carlisle and so far he hasn't hurt me therefore he is the most trustworthy one here. I just hope that this isn't all an act. There is always that possibility where he could suddenly turn on me.

I had only been in this place for two days but I was already missing freedom. Well, I suppose freedom wasn't the correct word but I definitely didn't want to be here. I missed Alice. I wanted her here but she hasn't visited me since I was in hospital. It wasn't her fault though; Carlisle told me that he wanted me to adjust in this place first and then he'll let Alice visit but I wanted her here right now. I won't adjust to no place without her.

"Jasper, are you Ok?" a voice spoke.

My mind was so focused and that one person that I was so on that I completely forgot about my surroundings. I was in my current room but I clearly wasn't alone. In order for the doctors to see if I'm mentally well enough to be released, I had to talk to a psychotherapist so that I would get better. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with me; I just view the world differently to others and maybe want to end it every now and again but I wasn't thinking straight. I just didn't realise how much I needed Alice. I _still _need her.

"Jasper, talk to me. Tell me what's going through your mind" my psychotherapist spoke again.

My psychotherapist was some guy called Nikolai Mactavish. He was Ok, I guess. He wasn't too pushy for answers but he was still constantly asking me questions. I suppose that's his job really but it was still annoying.

"Alice" I whispered.

It was a strange thought but I couldn't help but want to try and kiss her again. The nerves got the better of me last time but eventually I will get use to it. Perhaps I was forcing myself to do something that I wasn't yet ready for but I am a 17 year old who has yet to passionately kiss somebody. People at this age had already made love. I may not be a virgin but I sure as hell wouldn't call that 'making love'. Why was I even thinking about this kind of stuff. As soon as my father is locked away, I won't do anything sexual ever again. I just wouldn't be able to handle it; especially with this panic disorder thing that Carlisle said that I had. He had already started me on antidepressants and he told me they take a while to kick in.

"Tell me about Alice, Jasper" Nikolai said.

I smiled at the sound of her name. Why did she have such an effect on me?

"I need her" I whispered back to him.

I had to see her. Every time Carlisle came to see me, I pretty much begged him to let me see Alice. Does she want to see me? Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she has finally realised how messed up I really am. But then again, why did she visit me in the hospital?

"Why do you need her?" Nikolai asked gently.

It was actually a difficult question. Why did I need her? There was something about her that made me feel comfortable and ironically, this place was actually making me insane because she wasn't here to comfort me. I couldn't touch her hands, couldn't talk to her, I couldn't even gaze at her and I was craving all those things. She was like my drug. I relied on her and I was addicted to her comfort. I want her so terribly badly.

"She makes me safe" I answered.

"Do you mean she makes you _feel_ safe?" he tried to correct me.

I shook my head at him. I knew what I meant.

"Tell me what you mean" Nikolai said.

"She saved me" I whispered.

"Tell me more about that" he questioned.

"She kept me away from him. She made me feel comfortable around her; I have never felt comfortable before" I admitted.

It was the truth. I may have felt comfortable before my mother had left but I don't remember anything before the beginning of hell. I only remember Alice and her warm touch when she puts her arms around me the times when I am desperate for her comfort.

"Do you feel comfortable now?" he gently asked.

I shrugged at him. Alice wasn't here, therefore I wasn't comfortable. But I wasn't uncomfortable either. I mean, he was sitting the complete opposite end of the room because he knows about my panic attack and that being close to strangers can cause that.

"Only Alice makes me comfortable. I need Alice right now" I said.

"You seem incredibly reliant on her Jasper" he commented.

"She's my angel. She replace the bad thing in life with the good things. I will always need her"

A sudden thought occurred to me. She wouldn't want me to stick around all her life but I knew that without her, my life isn't worth living. It will go back to the way it was before I met her.

"Jasper?" Nikolai called.

I looked up and I noticed that he was looking at me curiously which made me realise that I was shaking.

"I don't think I can talk anymore today" I said firmly.

Normally, I wouldn't be given a choice but to talk to the psychotherapist at least an hour every day but because of the whole constantly in panic mode thing, they ease of a lot more.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me anything else?" he asked.

I shook my head at him. I didn't want to say anything more. I just wanted to sit in silence and think about Alice.

"Alright then. I shall speak to you tomorrow" he said as he got up from the seat.

I waited for him to leave the room before I carried myself over to my bed. I didn't like the idea of turning my back on people, especially those that I hardly know. It wasn't even late, nor was I tired but lying in my bed, wrapping myself warm was the only way that could make me feel even the slightest bit comfortable.

But I still needed Alice.

**Ok guys, I deeply apologise for such a short chapter. It just seemed the perfect moment to end the chapter, but anyway... I actually updated twice today so you can't hate me that much but I'll try and make the next chapter longer. Also, are you guys Ok with me making the time fly a bit because so far, everything has happened within a matter of weeks and I feel that it's all happening a little too fast. That's why this chapter kind of skipped 4 days.**


	29. Chapter 29

Thank you to my awesome reviewers. A little warning, the first part of this chapter may be a little triggering.

**Jasper's POV**

"_Please don't hurt me" I begged._

"_You're mine; I can do whatever I want you filthy piece of shit" he replied._

_He had me blindfolded and my wrists were tied together and my arms were raised like they were stretching as he had pushed me down on to my knees. I'm too small ____for this; after all, I'm only nine years old. I have no idea what he wants to do to me this time. He doesn't usually tie me up or blindfold me. He usually just lets me sit on his bed as he touches me and if he wanted me to touch him, he tells me to do so, so why was he doing it this way today?_

"_Open your mouth" my father ordered._

_I did as I was told and as I did so, he forced something big in my mouth, reaching my throat and I began to choke._

"_What the fuck? Do it properly" he demanded._

_He began to push himself in and out of my mouth and I was left with no choice but to suck on him. I was very familiar with this process but the whole thing with tying and blinding me was still a puzzle. Was he going to try something new? I heard him moan and the sound of it made me sick to my stomach; especially because I was the cause of it. After just 3 minutes, he had pulled out of my mouth and began to take my trousers off followed by my pants. _

"_Get up" he ordered._

_I was able to stand as he lifted me so whatever it was he tied me to, he had untied it but the rope was still wrapped around my wrists. He guided me to what felt like the edge of his bed, putting me in a position of me bending over against it._

"_You're a big boy now Jasper. I'm sure you're ready for something else" he whispered in my ear._

_As he said this, he suddenly inserted what I think were his fingers into my back end. Ok, this was new. His fingers were cold and a little slippery so he probably put some sort of gel like substance on them. He then began to move his fingers around and moved them apart like he was trying to open me up a little. I whimpered as I felt a little pain._

"_You haven't felt anything yet" he whispered._

_He pulled his fingers out of me as his hand moves around my shaft but at the same time, I felt something try to push its way up my entrance. I had a feeling it was my father. He had never done this before; I mean, he has done every other sexual thing but this and now he was going to steal my innocence._

_He pushed himself into me and since this was a first time, the pain came strong as I screamed out loud._

"_It's Ok Jasper. You will get use to it soon and then you'll enjoy it. Soon you will be begging me to do this to you all the time" he spoke as he pushed himself deeper into my body._

_I continued to scream as he slowly pulls out and then in again. He repeatedly does this getting faster and faster each time until soon; the pain is so strong that I can't find the strength to scream again. He kept on going, treating me like his sex doll, groaning every now and again until finally he climaxed inside of me. After he finishes, he lets himself out. I hear the movement of clothing and the sound of jeans being zipped up meaning my father was putting his clothes back on. I still felt naked so he had no intention for doing the same to me and I couldn't exactly do it because I was still tied._

_I then heard the door close._

"_Dad? Daddy don't leave me. Daddy I'm cold" I called after him._

_I heard no reply from him and I begin to cry. Why won't he untie me? Why won't he even let me see anything? I was very nervous and my insides hurt so much that I wasn't even sure if I could move if I was untied._

"_Daddy! Daddy, let me go!" I helplessly shouted._

_I begin to struggle against the rope, trying to shake myself free but it was very secure. My body began to move mentally as I refuse to let the rope beat me. I was stronger than it was, wasn't I? I let myself continue to fail breaking free followed by my panicked groans. I was even using my legs to kick although it would have no affect on weakening the rope._

"Jasper calm down"

_My tears fall more strongly as I realised that my father is very likely to leave me like this for a long time. I was absolutely freezing, hungry, in pain and now in major panic mode and I refuse to give up my fight against the rope that wouldn't give my wrists any freedom._

"Jasper, wake up. It's not real; it's all a dream"

_As I continue to let my body move mentally, I feel hands on my shoulders. Did he come back to let me go? Or was he going to punish me again?_

"_Please let me go. I don't want to be here" I cried._

_My father said nothing but I felt arms wrap around me. That wasn't my father. That was too comfortable for that to be his arms._

My eyes open to see golden brown ones staring back at me. I tense, knowing that I was in the arms of someone else's but instead of freaking out and pulling back; I grab his wrist and tightly held it so that he wouldn't leave me. Not like my father did. I shivered at the memory of the first time my father raped me. I was only nine; how could I be so sick. The nightmare had me very shaken up that even the sound of Carlisle breathing made me nervous. Even his voice made me flinch.

"Jasper, this is the third time I've had to forcefully wake you up. How often do you have nightmares?" he asked.

It was true. I had been here for four nights now and this is the third time that I had alerted them with my screaming and they had to wake me up by force because of some sort of safety reason because apparently I could hurt myself by the crazy way I move. I have only banged my head so far because Carlisle keeps coming to the rescue, saving me from my father. I just wish it was Alice. I need her.

"Dunno, I never slept long enough to have them" I admitted.

"Did he stop you from sleeping as well?" Carlisle asked.

"No, I chose to avoid it as much as I could" I whispered.

"Why?" he questioned.

"When I was younger, I was always having nightmares about um... about what he had done to me the previous day. He didn't like it when I woke him up with my scream so he always came into my room and...and he always woke me up by banging my head against a wall" I admitted as I began to cry.

He rocked me a little to comfort me and remained silent, allowing me to go on. I wasn't the kind of person to just offer information but this was Alice's dad. If I trust Alice, I must trust her father.

"There was this one night that I had a bad dream and I guess the screaming drove him crazy because he came into my room again that night with a beer bottle and..." I paused and took a deep breath.

I tried to stop the tears falling down my face but I was too weak to do so. At least I wasn't shaking as much now. As soon as I felt enough strength, I continued to speak.

"He hit me on the head with it. The glass bottle had smashed all over my bed and my hair started to go red with blood and the worst part...the worst part was that he just tied me down on my bed and then he just left my room. I had to spent that night lying in glass and I could hardly sleep because of the pain of it cutting my skin. Ever since then, I have forced myself to sleep for a maximum of four hours a night because I don't want that to happen again. That night I spent in Alice's room was the first long sleep that I have had in seven years" I informed.

I wasn't surprised that my nightmare had stopped when I was sleeping in Alice's room. After all, she was the one that took the bad things in life away from me. I so desperately missed her.

"Thank you for sharing that with me Jasper. It's really good to see that your confidence is starting to show" he praised.

"I need her Carlisle. I want her here" I desperately spoke.

He sighed at me and looked into my eyes again.

"You really do miss her, don't you?" Carlisle realised.

I nodded eagerly at him in hope that he would let her see me but he didn't answer. That's when a sudden thought occurred to me making me pull out of Carlisle's grip and back away against the wall.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" he confusedly asked.

"You don't like me. You don't want Alice to see me because you think that I'm a nutcase" I accused.

"Jasper, that's not true"

"Yes it is!" I shouted back leaving Carlisle surprised.

I suddenly looked to the floor and tensed in discomfort; failing to prepare for whatever punishment he was going to try on me.

"I'm sorry sir" I rapidly whispered.

Carlisle carefully neared me and crouched down to my level.

"Jasper, look at me" he instructed.

I obeyed immediately although I felt rather fearful when I lifted my eyes to his.

"I don't hate you and I _do_ want Alice to visit you but I'm doing this for your benefit. I want you to focus on getting better" he tried to reassure.

"But I am better. There is nothing wrong with me. I want Alice" I demanded.

Carlisle only sighed. He must be getting impatient. That means he'll give up on me. What will I do then? They'll send me to one of those horrible places where I would get no freedom whereas Alice and her family will be living peacefully. Maybe that's how it should be.

"You shouldn't have started helping me in the first place. I'm just wasting your time" I whispered to him.

"No. No Jasper, do not say things like that; you know that's not true. I care for you, Ok and I want to help you get through this no matter what. Don't let me hear you say that again" he firmly told me.

I didn't understand how he still felt like I was worth helping because I really wasn't. I wasn't fixable. I will always be a freak but if he is willing to waste his time helping me, then it's his choice to do so. I wasn't forcing him to.

"When can I get out of here?" I asked him.

He thought about his answer carefully before speaking.

"I'm not the one to make the decision but they did inform me that you might just be well enough to go home soon but first, they need to be sure that you are improving" Carlisle informed me.

I smiled a little. If Carlisle still lets me live with him for a little while, I would get to see Alice again but hopefully, I would get to see her before that because I truly wanted her with me. She would take my nightmares away and that's what I really needed.

But what I needed most was Alice.

**Ok, I just want to let you guys know that the flashback/nightmare right at the beginning was the first time that his father had raped him; just to make that clear to you.**

**So... tell me what you think.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Ok, I would like to start by saying that this story is actually a lot longer than I first thought and I have just realised that I do have a lot more to go because we all know how messed up Jasper's life is so if things are going to go the way I wanted, this story is far from finished. This does mean that I won't meet my deadline date on 5****th**** November and after that date, updates are going to be incredibly slow so you are warned. **

**Ok guys, this chapter takes place the day after the previous chapter; that cool?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**Alice POV**

"Hey Alice, tell me what's wrong" Bella demanded.

I looked at her as we sit at the tables in the school cafeteria at lunch time.

"Huh?" I questioned.

"Are you kidding me Alice? You are always so... I don't know... vibrating with energy and now you're just...moping around" she pointed out

Was I making it too obvious? No, Bella was just really observant.

"Nothing, school sucks is all" I replied.

"Alice, I may be clumsy but I'm not stupid. Now tell me" she demanded.

I sighed at her and looked down at the table.

"You wouldn't understand" I said quietly.

"Try me" she dared.

But I really couldn't tell her anything. What was I suppose to say? Oh Bella, by the way, I'm totally in love with that cute blond that freaks out all the time. He has tried to kill himself twice, I have recently found out that he cuts himself, is beaten by his father and is even raped by him too and now they have locked him up in psych ward and considering on putting him in a mental institution and to top it all off, my dad won't let me see him. So Bella, how fucked up do you think that is? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't tell her any of that.

"I just... a lot of things have happened with my family lately" I admitted.

"Come on Alice, you can talk to me" Bella persuaded.

Bella was a really trustworthy person but I couldn't betray Jasper like this. Ok, maybe I could just tell her but not mention any names. At least she would understand.

"My dad bought home a patient with a lot of issues and said that he would be staying with us for a while" I started.

"Is this person causing problems or something?" she asked.

"No, no that's not it. The thing is... I like him and I think...I think that he likes me too"

"Oh so this is a guy! And you like him! Oh my god! Do I know him?"

"No" I lied.

"Oh, Ok. But this still doesn't explain why you are moping around" Bella pointed out.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"He tried to kill himself so he is now spending time in psych ward" I whispered.

I hope to god that this wasn't wrong to tell Bella. She went silent for a minute but still looked at me.

"Oh god Alice, I'm so sorry" she apologised.

"What for? You didn't do this to him" I said.

"Can I ask you something Alice?" Bella asked.

"Sure" I replied, curious.

"You said you like this guy so, does that mean that... You know; you preferred him to Jas.." she stopped in realisation as she noticed the guilty look on my face.

"Oh my god. It's Jasper isn't it?"

How did she figure it out so fast? It couldn't have been that obvious. I mean, Jasper was hardly ever in school anyway so nobody would have guessed that he was at the hospital in a place where he doesn't belong. But out of all the people that she knew, how did she manage to pick the right answer?

"Bella, you have got to promise me that you will tell no one" I pleaded.

"You know I wouldn't do such thing Alice. I just never realised how bad Jasper really was" she admitted.

Bella was one of the only people that I knew that actually called Jasper by his actual name whereas everyone else gave him nicknames associating with his silent and unsocial behaviour.

"Nobody realised it until... stuff happened" I answered.

"What kind of stuff?" she asked.

"I can't... it's really personal stuff Bella. If it was my personal stuff, then I would have told you but this is all Jasper and I really don't want to tell people things that he doesn't want others to know" I replied.

"It's Ok Alice, I understand. I really appreciate that you told me anyway and I promise that I won't tell a soul" she promised.

"Thank you" I said as I smiled at her.

"Hey Bella"

We both turned to see that Edward had walked up to us.

"Hi Edward" she smiled shyly.

"Can I um, Can I talk to you for a minute?" he nervously asked.

"Yeah sure" she replied as she removed herself from the seat.

"No need to move Bella, Edward can sit here; I need to head to Bio early anyway so that I can speak to the teacher" I said.

"Thanks Alice, I'll see you next lesson" Edward replied. "Oh and Alice, since Jasper isn't in can I sit next to you instead of that douche bag Mike again?" He asked.

"Whatever" I laughed as I walked to tray with a stack of plates and placed mine on top of them.

I began to head to my biology class room with two pieces of course work in my hand but only one of them was mine. Once I reached the door, I knocked on it and then waited patiently for an answer.

"Come in" I heard a male voice call.

I opened the door at the sound of my biology teacher, Mr Griggs, voice and smiled as I walked in.

"You're a little early to your lesson today don't you think Alice?" he stated.

"I know but I needed to hand in some work and I know I could have done that next lesson but I needed to tell you about it first" I explained.

"Well go ahead" he said.

I handed him both of the same assignments and he took them.

"One of them is mine and the other is Jasper's"

He looked rather shocked but I wasn't sure why. I know that we had another 2 weeks to complete the coursework so that may have been it but I have a slight feeling that the main shock was Jasper was one of the people that completed his work early. Jasper isn't behind much on his school work despite his attendance, he is just struggling to keep up but who can blame him after everything that he is going through.

"Well thank you for spending your free time on actually working on your assignment. Were you and Jasper working together?" he asked.

"Well yeah, we kinda helped each other out but both pieces of work are our own" I answered.

"Ok then, I shall mark these as soon as I have finished teaching" Mr Griggs stated.

"Thank you sir" I said.

Then the bell for next lesson had gone so I walked up to my seat at the front and waited for Edward to walk in.

**Carlisle POV**

I was doing my best to help that poor boy. He may have attempted suicide but he was just having a bad moment. He knew what he did was wrong and he wants to get better. What he doesn't want is to be sent to a long term mental institution and I would do everything in my power to stop that from happening. He doesn't need to get better by being sent to places like that. Medication and therapy on its own would work just fine and even if he did end up in a mental institution for the rest of his life, he would never be you average child. He will always be skittish, quiet and shy and he'll always have these bad memories but in my opinion, he is more likely to have flashbacks locked up in a psych ward than he is in the real world; the reason why is because it would remind him why he is there and considered mental, why he is considered a suicide threat. He doesn't need this. What he needs is our family; especially Alice.

He thought that I was ashamed of him, being the reason why I wouldn't let my daughter see him but that wasn't true. I desperately wanted Alice to visit him, I really did but he has become too reliant on her. He needs to know that he can do this by himself. He needs to know that he is strong enough. He has already made progress; he is beginning to realise that what his father had done was something that nobody deserves although he still views himself as sick and weak. He is also becoming more open with me although he is still quiet with every other person that is trying to help him. I think he might actually be telling me more than he is telling his psychotherapist, Nikolai Mactavish. I knew that Nikolai was one of the best as he was never to forceful when he asked questions which is why I decide that he would be the perfect one, especially because making Jasper feel under pressure was the last thing we wanted. I had also warned Nikolai that it was best to stay seated at the complete opposite of the room so that Jasper wouldn't see him as a threat, therefore he is more likely to speak.

One thing that I was worried about though was the sound of Jasper screaming in horror. There have been countless times where the nurses have called me up to the psych ward in the morning just to wake Jasper up since I was the only one at the hospital that actually manage to calm him down and avoid any serious panic attacks. It was probably because he knew me well now and he might-just might- actually trust me. Now trust was a big thing for Jasper so I would do my best not to break it. But anyway, every time I went into his room during a nightmare, he was shaking and struggling against nothing. He also bangs his head against the wall; sometimes repeatedly ad other times he accidently does it due to too much fidgeting but all the same, head injuries are more likely to be avoided in a padded room. Sometime he was just screaming at a non-existent pain but other times he actually screams words. The most often ones are "Please stop" or "Daddy don't leave me".

Although I am a pacifist, if I ever came across his father, the chances are somebody is going to have to hold me back because there is no doubt that I would want to put that man in the hospital even if it does make me lose my job. Despite not knowing him any longer than a month, I am beginning to view Jasper as my son even though he isn't. Maybe I shouldn't get too attached since he won't be with us for long. I dread to think what would happen when he does find a loving home away from forks. If he is already going insane without Alice for 5 days, what would he be like if he never got to see her again? Why did life have to be difficult? Maybe I could arrange something so that Alice could still see Jasper every once in a while but instead of getting ahead of myself, I'm going to focus more on the present.

"Carlisle, a word please" Dr Simmons said, bringing me back to reality.

I followed him to his office and sat down on the seat in front of his desk. Dr Simmons was head of the psych ward and it was up to him to make the decision of what happens to Jasper. There are currently three options. 1.) He is ready to go home, 2.) He is not quite ready to go home but isn't bad enough to go to a mental institution or 3.) He will be sent to a mental institution due to the fact that he hasn't made any improvements over the past 5 days or has got worse.

The chances are, the nightmares may have stopped him from being ready to go home but because he has made a small improvement, he could get out of being sent to the mental institution.

**Ok guys... it's up to you again...**

**He can go home**

**He stays a little longer and wait for a decision to be made**

**He will be sent to a mental institution**

**Now I'd like you to think carefully on this one. If you choose 3, then I will have to be doing a lot of research but if it makes you guys happy then I'll do it. Also, do **_**you **_**believe that Jasper is ready for 1.) ? Or do you think he should stay longer? The most votes wins and if it's a draw then I sha'll choose. **

**Every vote counts but also don't forget to drop me a review **


	31. Chapter 31

** Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**I apologise for any of the following mistakes. My laptop needs fixing so I'm using a really crappy one and I practically need to punch the keys just to get it to type... not to mention I have to rewrite this as I finished the chapter then it decided to delete itself so I'm not exactly happy right now but... lets see if I can remember what I wrote.**

**Carlisle POV**

"Dr Cullen, I am speaking to you specifically because you seem to be Jasper's main carer which is strange considering that you don't even work in the psych ward" Dr Simmons pointed out.

"Yeah well, he needs me" I answered.

"Jasper has been spending 5 days in the psych ward now and I have see a little improvement although not as much as I would have wanted. He isn't ready to leave the psych ward but the real problem is that we can't keep him here for too long either. Don't forget that the psych ward is just a temporary stay" Simmons informed.

"So what is going to happen to him" I asked.

"What Jasper has been through has damaged him Carlisle. He went from being a self harmer to a suicidal. To be honest with you, the moment that I was informed about this child, I knew that a mental asylum was the answer for him" he said.

"No. No this is not the answer for him. The isolation would make him worse. He needs special attention. He has been sexually abused for ten years straight and everyone just expects him to appear normal. Of course he is going to have issues but a mental asylum is not the answer" I said.

"Carlisle, even if he doesn't need to go to one,where else would he go? You refuse to let him go into child care because of his social problems and panic attacks and you are requesting a special placements with no children. Do you know how difficult it is to find special placements like that?" He rhetorically asked.

I sighed. I knew that he was right but I wouldn't just let them ditch him in a mental institution. That wasn't the answer.

"Can't you just give him time?" I begged.

"Time for what? Issues like that don't fix themselves in what? 2 weeks? and that's the longest I would have him here and I doubt that he would find the perfect home that is willing to take him in at that amount of time, Carlisle. It just isn't possible." Simmons said.

"This can't be happening" I whispered to myself as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"There is of course a second option" Dr Simmons added.

I looked at him and raised my eyebrow.

"And that is?" I questioned.

"Well, the second option is only possible depending on Jasper himself if he continues to improve and if you agree to it" he said.

Me? Dr Simmons is in charge of psych ward so why did I have to agree to it?

"You have grown very attached to this boy, have you not?" Simmons questioned.

"I'm a Doctor, it is my job to care for everyone" I answered.

"Yes but this child in particular, you really care for him" Simmons pointed out.

"What is the second option?" I asked again.

"All your children are adopted, correct?" he questioned, not answering mine

"Yes, but I don't see what that has got to do with anything" I commented.

"How many have you got?"

"Four, but were suppose to be talking about Jasper" I said unsure of what he had in mind.

"Carlisle, have you ever considered a 5th child?" He asked.

I paused as I suddenly realised what he was really asking me. He was suggesting that I adopt Jasper.

"No, No I can't do that Simmons. Jasper needs a lot of love and attention after everything that he has been through and I can't give that to him if I'm always at work. And besides, about a week ago, Chief Swan and Michael J. Dunn agreed that I would take care of him until they find a special placement for him. Not 24 hours had gone by when he had ran from us and not to mention that the previous day was just as much trouble. I just can't put my wife through that" I spoke in disappointment.

I really did want to help this boy out and I really would do anything for him until he finds the perfect place to live. Don't get me wrong, I have in fact grown very attached to this child and I even view him as my son but he needs somebody that can keep a close eye on him every second of the day. Our family just wouldn't be able to do that.

"Look Carlisle, this child is going to be put in a mental institution because he needs to be placed somewhere that can help people like him. If he does get homed, it would need to be with someone who has experience with mentally ill patients. Carlisle, your a doctor and not only that but you are the only one in the hospital that he actually responds to. You want him to be put in a special placement but in my opinion, you are that special placement" Simmons persuaded.

He had a point. It was true. I was the only one in the hospital that he responded to. Yes he responded to his psychotherapist as well but not as much as he does with me. And what about Alice? He absolutely adores her and he so desperately needs her attention. The two people that he opens up to are from the same family so it would make sense but I just don't think that it is the right place for him. Other than Alice, he is terrified of my other children therefore the best place for him would be a home without children.

"Look Simmons, I can't Ok? It's for his sake" I said.

"Would you at least consider it?" He pleaded.

I sighed at him. I knew that Esme had already taken to him and she was dropping hints to let me know that she had already thought about taking him in but he would take a lot of hard work.

"All right , but that is only if Jasper remains on psych hold" I negotiated.

"Deal. I guess that's all I wanted you for" Simmons smiled.

"Ok then"

I smiled back and then got up from my seat and left his office. Before leaving the psych ward, I decided to visit Jasper again just in case he needed anything. I walked up to his room and opened his door, walking in and then closing it behind me. I looked around and then I saw Jasper sitting in the corner with his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs and his head resting on them.

"Jasper, are you alright?" I asked as I near him and crouch to his level.

No comment.

"Jasper, talk to me" I begged.

He still said nothing.

"Did you have another flashback?" I asked.

It may have been a stupid question because when he has flashbacks, it is always followed by a panic attack and Jasper was only shaking whereas his breathing was under control. But then again, the medication that he is currently on may have helped avoid it.

"Tell me what's wrong" I said as I put my hand on is shoulder.

He flinched at the touch and then he shrugged my hand away. Well at least he was responding.

"Jasper, look at me" I said firmly enough for him to listen but not enough to scare him.

Thankfully he slowly lifted his head but then I noticed his puffy red eyes. He had been crying. I also saw that there were red scratch marks on his forehead and cheeks where he must have been clawing at his face. He does that when he is distressed. This wasn't good.

"Oh Jasper"

I pulled him into a hug and rocked him gently. I used my hands to unclench his ones before he makes them bleed again. That's becoming a bit of a habit.

"Talk to me Jasper, tell me what's wrong" I begged.

I had only been gone for about ten minutes and I walk back in here and he is like this. Why? My heart broke for this kid and I just wanted to do anything for him.

"I need her" He whimpered.

**Alice POV**

Since I was ahead of all my school work, I was left with nothing to do at home. I sat at the desk in my room and pulled out my notepad so that I can sketch random stuff. It's what I usually to when I am bored. I opened my notepad up to the first page and then a smile appeared on my face.

It was the drawing that I made of Jasper the day I first saw him. His bright blue eyes really stood out despite the fact that his blond curly hair had almost covered them. His lips were curved into a smile. When I first drew this picture, I didn't see him smile at all so I just drew one on so I knew roughly what it looks like. I have seen him smile a few times now; enough to now exactly what his happy face looks like. I grabbed a pencil and added a dimple on his right side. Perfect.

Looking at the picture reminds me of our first kiss. It was the smile he used after he admitted that he liked it. I'm glad he did. Thinking of the kiss gave me and idea of what I could sketch next so I flipped to the next page and began to draw.

I started with the shape of Jasper's face, making every detail of Jasper's curly hair perfect. I then started to shape out his nose, cheek and mouth while tilting the shape of his head. I had drew Jasper from the side and there is a reason for that.

I then made a start on myself. I started on my short hair, my eyes closed as my lips are pressed against Jasper's. I then started to draw the shape of my arms wrapped around his neck, making Jasper look as relaxed as possible.

This will happen one day; I just know it. Me and Jasper may just be friends now, well really close friends but one day, we will become one.

I start to develop the sketch more, drawing more of our bodies so that I can draw Jaspers arms wrapped around my waist to hold me tight. There isn't enough room on the paper to draw the legs but that doesn't matter much. Once I have finished, I pull back and look at the picture, smiling at what I saw. The picture was perfect and it was full of emotion.

Soon Alice, he just needs time, I told myself.

Just then, their was a knock on the door but instead of waiting for my permission to let them in, they just walked in and I turned around to see who it was. Esme

"Alice, your dad just rung and said that he wants you at the hospital as soon as possible" she informed.

"Is it Jasper? Is he OK?" I asked a little worried.

"He will be once he sees you. I'll drive you sweetie" Esme offered.

I turned back to my drawing and hurriedly but it back into my drawer and then followed Esme out of the room. Well at least Carlisle is finally letting me see Jasper again.

**Ok, very similar to my accidentally deleted one and at least I managed to finish it. Also people, I just want to say that the lack of reviews is beginning to slow me down so I really am begging you to review. Is it starting to get boring? Please be honest!**

**And talking about reviewers, I want to thank "Ichirukilullaby" for a staying with me all the way on this story and reviewing on every single one of my chapters which I really appreciate! Another few of my popular reviewers are Jasper 1997, bellevelso, delta girl and a guest who goes by the name 'Ladyumba'. But even if I didn't mention your name, I still really appreciate your reviews. Anyway... You know what to do!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you for those who reviewed. I even had some new reviews so thank you to you guys as well. You deserve a quick update. I still have the crappy laptop so excuse any terrible mistakes.**

**Also, Check out the song "Now you're here" by 'A Friend In London'. It even sounds like the song was written for this story because it just sound so perfect in Jasper's eyes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Jasper POV**

Alice, Where are you? I'm going crazy without you. Well, craz_ier_ that is. I need you here with me because without you, I'm acting like a pathetic child crying in your fathers arms. I feel weak and vulnerable. You make me feel stronger when you are by my side; my hand in yours. I haven't seen you in 5 whole days and it is literally giving me the shakes. I feel so nervous. I feel like somebody is out there to get me.; to hurt me. You made me feel protected but now you're not here.

Carlisle had been sitting in my room for about 15 minutes, in attempt to comfort me but there was only one person who could do that. I don't even understand why he was even trying. He knew that I was messed up and he was wasting his time with me when he should be treating patients that are actually worth his time. He was a doctor after all. But then again, there was that small part of me that was glad that he was here. Even if he was pretending to care for me, it still felt good to know what it felt like to actually matter to somebody. Did I matter to Alice?

I guess the real reason behind enjoying Carlisle's presence was because he's Alice's dad. He was the father figure yet he was nothing like my father.

I close my eyes as I let my head relax against Carlisle's chest. I was getting good at this. Alice helped me learn to relax a little but I still feel very uncomfortable around other people, especially her brother Edward. Emmett looked more like the dangerous one because of his size but Edward was just...scary. I know, it sounded a little pathetic but he hated me and I have had a bad experience with people that hate me and what they _do_.

"Dr Cullen, your wife is here" said one of the nurses as she popped her head through the door.

I tensed at the sound of the strangers voice but was comforted slightly as Carlisle rubbed my arms.

"All right, I'll be there in a second" he replied.

The stranger closed the door and I began to shift away from Carlisle, knowing that he would have to move from his position anyway.

"Are you going to be Ok if I go now?" he asked.

I nodded rapidly although we both knew it was a lie. I won't be Ok. I'm locked in some sort of place for lunatics and I hated it. I wanted Alice.

"All right then. Remember, if you get distressed you tell one of the nurses to come and get me instead of suffering in silence Ok" Carlisle said.

Carlisle, if you were here for every time that I was distressed in this place, you wouldn't get any work done I thought silently. Instead, I just nodded at him, looking at the floor afraid to look into his sympathetic eyes.

Carlisle stood up and turned for a second glance and then he left my room closing the door behind him. I returned back to the corner of the room, creating as much distance from the door as possible just in case somebody would come in here and hurt me. What about my father? Does he know where I am? I hope not because he's a clever guy so he'll find a way to sneak in here. Oh god, and there are cameras. That means people will see how disgusting I am for letting him do that to me.

Breathe Jasper, just breathe. You don't want to get yourself all worked up otherwise they'll consider you crazy. All I wanted was to get out of here.

There was a knock on the door which made me push back further against the wall. Wait... nobody ever knocks on my door, they always just walk in. Well other than my psychotherapist, Nikolai. But Nikolai knocks just to let me know he's here and then he'll walk in without waiting for my permission. I was confused because they were still waiting outside.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to move because I felt safest when I was sitting in the corner of my room but I was also afraid to say anything. Instead, I just remained in my position staying as silent possible. Maybe they will go away.

But they didn't because the door slowly opened. My eyes stayed glued to the door to see who it was. My breathing stopped when I saw her.

It was my angel

"Jasper?" her voice comforted me instantly.

I suddenly stood from the corner and ran to her, wrapping her into a hug. I needed this so much. I breathed in the scent on her neck; such a sweet smell. She returned the gesture by wrapping her arms around me. I wasn't a fan of cuddles, hell I wasn't a fan of anything that had anything to do with physical contact but Alice was different. I knew she wouldn't hurt me.

"Alice" I whispered.

"Oh, I missed you so much Jazz"

She did? If it was anyone else, I wouldn't believe them but I could sense honesty. She actually missed me.

"I missed you too Alice" I whispered.

I have never felt so happy than right now in her comfort. I held her tighter, afraid that she would just disappear. It's possible that I could be hallucinating; after all, I'm not exactly normal.

Unfortunately, she pulled away from me so that she could close the door. After she did so, she took my hand and walked me over to my bed so that we could sit down.

We ended up so that we were sitting cross legged, opposite each other while holding each others hands, intertwining our fingers. I began to smile at her as I gaze into her eyes realizing that Carlisle finally gave into my needs. He was a good man, unlike my father.

"I handed your biology work into Mr Griggs" Alice informed, breaking our long silence.

"Thank you" I spoke quietly.

I leaned over to rest my head on her shoulder, wanting to feel as close to her as possible. I don't know how long she was going to be here but I wanted to make the most of it. She raised one of her hands so that she was stroking my hair but her other hand continued to intertwine with my one.

"I need you so much Alice" I whispered.

"It's Ok Jasper, no matter what happens, I'll make sure that I will always be here for you" she spoke quietly, her beautiful voice comforting me.

I smile as I continue to rest my forehead on the side of her neck. She _will _always be here for me. And there I was fearing that one day she would just forget all about me.

"Always?" I double checked.

She removed her hand from my hair and pulled back to look at me, putting her hand on my cheek.

"Jasper, the moment I saw you, I knew that you were special. You have lived a harsh life, one that has almost destroyed you but I would do anything to make everything better" she spoke gently.

I loved hearing her voice; it was just so...heavenly. She thought I was special. I didn't expect to hear her say that, I mean seriously? Look at me. I am a freak. I'm covered in scars, I'm too bony, I freak out around people and I lost my virginity at the age of 9. What part of me was special? No, the only special one here was Alice. She helped me realise that not everyone is like my father. She helped me realise that not every father figure is like mine.

"You have already made everything better" I whispered as I gaze into her eyes.

She smiled at me which seemed to make me smile back. I just don't understand how she can have this effect on me. What was this strange emotion that I kept feeling from her. More or less, it was the same emotion that I felt _for _her. I guess the only reason why I couldn't figure it out was because the only emotion that I have experienced is hate and disgust.

She continued to stroke my cheek with her thumb and I lean against the palm of her hand, desperate for her touch. Strange, considering that being touched usually freaks me out but now it depends on _who _is touching me and of course _where._ The only people that could touch me without causing a panic attack is Alice and her father if he doesn't catch me by surprise. But when it come to _where _I'm being touched, nobody can touch me anywhere below my waist or any of my bare skin unless its my hands and face since I can't exactly cover them up. Especially because when Alice touches my hands, she makes me feel... Special.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Can I...Can I um...errr" Damn my stuttering. Why couldn't I just be normal?

"What is it Jasper?" she questioned.

"Um, I just...er...don't worry"

"Tell me Jazz" Alice pleaded.

I shook my head at her "It doesn't matter"

"Yes it does Jasper, tell me"

"I just...I wondered if um...we could try to, you know... do that thing again" I stuttered.

I was shaking a little, afraid that she would deny my request but she just looked at me confused.

"What thing?" She questioned.

"The um...kiss"

I was very nervous at what she would say. What if she only kissed me last time just to make me feel better. But then again, I needed to feel better now and Alice was the one with that power.

And then she smiled.

"You want to?" she asked.

I nodded.

"I don't want to make you nervous Jasper" Alice stated.

"Or you just don't want to" I whispered. "I'm sorry Alice, I shouldn't have asked. I was just being stupid"

"No, no Jasper trust me, I want to I really do I just... I want to make you feel comfortable around me. I don't want you to force yourself to do something that you don't want to do Jazz, especially with everything that you have been through" she explained.

"But you _do_ make me feel comfortable Alice. I want to" I whispered.

She looked into my eyes and I could tell that she was debating it. No, I was sure that she only kissed me out of pity. I looked away. It was probably wrong anyway. I mean, kissing is for relationships and Alice was just... I don't know but she definitely wasn't my girlfriend.

_I wasn't in a love relationship with my father but he still kissed me_

"Just forget it" I whispered as I lean my head against her shoulder again and close my eyes.

She started to stroke my hair again and then I heard her sigh. Was she annoyed at me? Why? Did I do something wrong? Maybe she doesn't like me being close to her. How could I be so stupid? She knows what me father did to me. Why would she want a sick person like me near her. She knows about the incest, how I let my father use me as his toy and... Oh god, that's why she wouldn't kiss me anyway; she knows that my lips have been used on my father.

I slowly shifted away from her and moved of my bed, leaving a confused expression on Alice's face. I just walked to my favourite corner and sat down, lifting my knees to my chest while wrapping my arms around my legs. I then rested my chin on top of my knees.

I notice Alice moving off my bed as well and making her way towards me. She crouched by me and put her hand on my shoulder but I just shrugged it away.

"Talk to me Jazz" she begged.

"It's Ok Alice. I appreciate that you came to see me but if I knew that...that you didn't want to... I wouldn't have begged your father to bring you here. You can go now" I mumbled.

"What? No Jazz, I'm not going anywhere. If you thought that I was just going to forget about you, then you are wrong. You're going to put up with me for a long time Jasper because you need me"

Yes I needed her but she didn't want this. She has a life to live and now I have gone and ruined it with all my troubles.

"You don't have to do this Alice" I whispered.

"But I _want _to" she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

I looked into her eyes, as if they would help me understand her.

"Why Alice? From day 1 you have confused me because I just can't figure out why I'm special to you. Out of all people in the world, why help _me_? I'm nothing Alice. I'm not worth anything which is exactly why my father did what he did"

"Ok Jasper, stop it now" she demanded.

Her tone scared me a little so I closed my mouth but didn't break eye contact.

"You just don't understand how I feel about you" she whispered, putting her hand in my cheek again.

She then leaned a little closer and put her forehead against mine.

"You are a very special person Jasper. You may not see it but I do. I don't know how you feel about me but in honesty I really like you"

Before giving me time to speak, she gave me what I wanted, pressing her lips against mine. I kissed back feeling relaxed as she continues to touch my cheek with her palm. I wasn't as nervous as the first time. I guess it was because I didn't expect it then.

Alice is nothing like my father. She is kissing me because this is what I wanted. She isn't being forceful I told myself, just in case I begin to panic.

She pulls back after the short moment but she continued to lean her forehead against mine.

"When I said I really like you, in truth, I like you a lot more than I should as a friend" she whispered.

"I don't understand" I said confused.

"Promise me you won't freak out" she begged.

I couldn't promise that.

"I'll try" I mumbled.

I began to focus strongly on my breathing to avoid any panic attack. I just hope that the anti-depressants that I'm on are working properly. Alice sighed at me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Jazz, I...I've fallen in love with you" she whispered.

**I have to admit, I am very unsure about the ending, was it too soon?**


	33. Chapter 33

**I had been at work today so I didn't have much free time left but then I realised that I had an awesome amount of reviews and thought 'Hey, why not?'. See what happens when you review?**

**More apologise for mistakes (Yes I am still using the crappy laptop). I will correct them as soon as I can. The mistakes that I had made yesterday had been corrected about 2 hours after I had updated because I noticed at least 15 mistakes so sorry about that.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper POV**

Father always told me that girls were always bad luck when it came to love. They should never be trusted. Everything they say to you is a big lie, especially those 3 words. Them 3 words that nobody has ever said to me before.

Father always told me that love was just a trick, messing up your mind and that you should never fall for it. I guess that was another reason why he was always having sex with me. He wanted me to be gay. Strange considering that a lot of parents don't except it but my father is a smart guy. He knows what he is talking about. He told me that if there is no girl in my life, I won't be anymore fucked up than I already am.

I trusted Alice with my life. I mean, she stopped me from killing myself so that has to mean something. But trusting her in general and trusting her with love were totally different. I have no idea why she said that. She was just fucking with me. Father always told me that nobody would ever like me, so why would they ever love me?

"Jazz, please say something" Alice begged.

Like what? What was there to say? I had no idea what to say to that. I couldn't tell if she meant it or not. If she did mean it, what did she want from me? Oh god, what if she wanted my body? My father was right. Girls trick you into making you think that they like you and then they'll just use you. Why couldn't she just force all that stuff on me like my father does. I may be stronger than her but she knows that I would just let it happen.

I always do.

"Jazz please say something, anything"

If I wasn't locked up in this room, I would have ran. Ran as far away as possible. But no, I was stuck here feeling so isolated yet crowded at the same time. I wanted to forget everything that has happened in the last half an hour. You know what? Scratch that. I wanted to forget everything that has happened in the last month. I want to forget that I had ever met this angel. I wanted to forget her father who was nothing like my own. I wanted to forget her demon brother who wanted to hurt me. I wanted to forget her other brother that looks like he could break me. I wanted to forget her mother who treated me like I mattered. I wanted to forget her sister who looks like...like she understood me. In fact, I wanted to forget everything that has ever happened to me, especially my father and how he had destroyed my life.

**Alice POV**

I knew I shouldn't have told him; but I wanted to so badly. How could I have been so stupid? He isn't ready to hear stuff like that and now telling him my true feelings for him has knocked him out mentally. He just seems so zoned out. Could he even hear me?

"Jazz talk to me" I begged.

He didn't respond to me in any way. He just...stared. No; it wasn't even staring because he wasn't even looking _at_ me, he was looking _through _me like there was somebody behind me.

"Jazz seriously stop that, you're freaking me out" I warned.

Still no response. Please don't shut down on me Jasper, I thought silently. I hated the thought of him treating me like everyone else. Jesus christ! I don't even think he was breathing. At the sudden realization, I began to shake his shoulder. Hard.

"Jasper, stop it" I demanded as a tear fell from my eye.

Was he even in there? He just continued to look through me as if I were a window.

"Jasper please do something"

I seriously thought that I had lost him. He wasn't blinking, breathing, moving, speaking and it was like I was looking at a statue. Do something Alice!

Hands! He liked his hands being touched. I suddenly grabbed both of his hands, stroking the back with my thumb hoping to get some response from him. Still nothing. This was definitely worse than his panic attacks. At least during those, he still noticed me.

Just then, the door opened revealing Carlisle walking into the room. His eyes shot to Jasper.

"Dad, I don't know what happened" I said as he rushed towards the frozen boy.

He suddenly took Jasper into his arms hoping that it would break him out of this and bring him back to reality.

"Jasper, you're safe. Nobody is here to hurt you. Alice isn't going to hurt you and neither am I. Come back to me. Breathe Jasper. You have to breathe for me" Carlisle said in a calm tone

And the finally he responded. Jasper closed his eyes while gasping for air, leaning his head into Carlisle's chest as if it were a familiar gesture. I was so relieved although he had yet to say anything.

"What happened?" he asked me.

How was I going to explain that? Oh dad, I told Jasper that I was in love with him completely ignoring the fact that he has trust issues and it sent him straight into shock. I had no idea what to say.

"Nothing happened" Jasper surprisingly spoke up. "I was just being a freak".

Jasper's eyes had remained closed as he spoke quietly into my dad's chest. Since when had Jasper and my dad been so close? Maybe since he had been in the hospital and I had been stuck at home because I wasn't allowed to see him. But what I didn't understand was that Jasper once feared my dad and now I realise that it was because he thought that he did the same things as his own father but now he seemed to trust him like he trusted me. Why?

"You weren't being a freak Jasper" I replied, hoping that he would listen to me now.

He just sighed and said no more.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

An hour went by and me and Carlisle still sat in Jasper's room, Jasper had somehow managed to fall asleep in Carlisle's comforting arms. I smiled as I watch him rest there looking like he had no troubles in his life.

"Dad, how much time do you spend with Jasper now that he's in the hospital?"I asked him.

It was a question that popped into my head a while ago because I knew that he was the main one caring for Jasper even though he should be treating injured patients.

"It depends when he needs me. Some days he just wants to be left alone to suffer in silence and other days he wants to know what it feels like to be cared for, and that's when I get called here to make him feel that way" he explained.

"But doesn't it ever interfere with your job as a Doctor?" I wondered

"No. Technically, he is one of my patients" Carlisle replied.

"How? You don't work in this part of the hospital" I stated, confused.

"It's quite a story but to put it short, Jasper doesn't respond to any of the nurses that work here. He doesn't talk to them, neither does he look at them. On the first day that he was moved to the psych ward, I visited him on my break to see him sitting in the corner of the room, hiding his head in his knees. In fact, I'm always walking in that room and he's in that same position. I mean, this is the second time today that I walked in here and he was in that part of the room" Carlisle pointed out.

It was strange but then again, it might be his way in saying 'I'm feeling cornered'.

"Anyway, he seemed to have shut everyone out so I began to talk to him, letting him know that I did care and to prove it, I promised to come back every time that I was on my break and lunch hour to visit him and make him feel worth my time. Because he already knew me as your father, he began to rely on me to 'protect' him from the nurses who could 'hurt' him when nobody was looking. He wouldn't let them bring food to him, he refused to eat it when they were the ones watching him to double check he was eating, he refused to swallow the medication that they gave him, he wouldn't let them take him to the bathroom and so on. But on the second day, I brought him his medication and he took them straight away. That was when I realised that he was doing this all out of trust. He thought the nurses were going to try an drug or poison him because they were complete strangers but Jasper knows me. As soon as the head of the Psych ward, Dr Simmons, noticed the change in Jasper's attitude around me, he decided that Jasper should be my patient on the days that I am working so being here still counts as my working hours" Carlisle explained.

I thought it was amazing how this had happened in such a small amount of time but I was still unsure about why he felt safe around my dad. Maybe, like he said, it was because my dad was the only one that Jasper is familiar with but I still felt like there was something more to it.

"Dad, I just don't understand how he seems so at comfort with you. Everyone makes him nervous, especially males but he seems to treat you like your his..."

I paused as I began to add things up. It all made sense. Jasper's father never treated him the way a father should. Jasper was treated like he was some sort of sex slave meaning that Jasper had never experienced what it really feels like to have parents. And once he began to cling to me, he realised that my dad was nothing like his. He realised how he should be treated.

"Alice?" my dad questioned.

I looked up at him, taking my eyes of the beautiful boy in his arms.

"Dad, I think he's beginning to look up to you like a father"

**Please Review if you want another update tomorrow!**


	34. Chapter 34

**I apologise for not updating yesterday, I have to use to lame 'I was busy' excuse. I did start writing but I didn't get to finish it but I shall make it up to you with a long chapter. **

**Another song that fits the story is 'She's the sunshine' by trading yesterday so check it out too and thank you to ichirukilullaby for finding the song.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

Had I really grown so attached to this child? Was he really starting to view me as a father figure? I doubt it. Jasper never did have true parents. His mother left and the father treated him like a sex toy. Jasper is just looking for somebody to replace his father so that he does have somebody to look up to and I just happened to be that person who got close enough to Jasper that he eventually thought that I would be good enough. I thought it was actually rather sad for the fact that considering that he is incredibly shy and skittish, he still wanted attention from a father. Maybe that was why he never told anybody about the sexual abuse. It was because he was so desperate for his fathers attention.

"What's on your mind honey?" my wife asked.

We were laying in bed and I was resting my head on the bed frame whereas Esme was giving me a concerned look.

"Dr Simmons spoke with me today" I revealed.

"Which Dr is that?" she asked.

"Head of psych ward" I answered plainly.

"Was it about Jasper?" she questioned.

I sighed and nodded at her.

"Well?"

"They want to place him in a mental institution" I answered.

I wasn't sure if I could reveal to her that there was a possibility in taking Jasper in because I knew that she would want to adopt him and would continue to beg me until I agreed with her. The problem was, as much as I too wanted Jasper part of the family, I didn't want to put my family at risk of being hurt and Jasper holds that possibility.

"So he hasn't gotten any better? The poor soul; he deserves so much more" she sadly replied.

I nodded in agreement and then we went silent. Esme then began taking quick glances at me, looking rather curious.

"What are you not telling me?" she questioned.

She could always tell when somebody was hiding something and in this case, I was that somebody. I looked her in the eyes and sighed.

"Dr Simmons said that if he found a home that could handle children with a mental history, he wouldn't need to go to a mental institution" I informed.

To me, Jasper wasn't a mental child. He was just a lost boy in need of love and care and now that he has found it, I would be tearing that away from him. Could I really do that? This evening at the hospital when Jasper had fallen asleep against me, I looked down at him and thought how fatherly I felt when he was relaxed against me again. And how much of a son he felt like when I carried him to his bed as he slept in my arms. Could I really become a father to him? Doesn't it even scare him after everything that his real father had done to him. Esme had remained silent so I spoke again.

"He specifically wanted me to take him in" I admitted.

She suddenly looked at me with a hint of a smile.

"What did you say to him?" she asked.

I shrugged at her and looked down guiltily. "Esme, we can't".

"Yes, we can. Carlisle, when I first saw that boy, I knew that he needed parents that would care for him. We can be those parents. We were for Rose, we were for Alice and Edward and we were for Emmett. Why can't we be for Jasper?"

"Esme, Jasper is going to be very difficult and I don't think that..."

"So your going to give up on him?" Esme interrupted.

"Of course not Esme, I'm doing my best to keep him out of a mental institution; its just Jasper won't be like looking after our four children. He is going to be a lot of hard work and I'm rarely ever here".

"And you don't think that I could handle it" Esme stated in disappointment.

I sighed. Was I underestimating her? I guess I was just worried because of how Jasper had pointed a knife at Emmett on the night he had first stayed. Maybe if I could safe proof the whole house, hiding all sharp objects and locking the medical cupboards, then Jasper would be less likely to hurt himself or possibly us if he would feel threatened. But I still felt like there was something still holding me back.

"Honey, I want you to consider the fact that Jasper is a very nervous person and because he has a panic disorder, we could be bad for him" I said, trying to get her to understand.

"But he has really taken to Alice and she really does care for him" she replied.

I didn't know what to say to that and I knew that she wasn't going to give up.

Maybe I _was _giving up on Jasper

I couldn't do that. I had only just managed to get him to trust me. If it's that difficult to get him to trust me, how difficult would it be to get him to trust anyone else that could possibly be willing to adopt him. But if we were to take him in, Jasper would have to agree with it.

Would he?

"Esme, are you honestly prepared to take care of a child that would be fearful of almost everyone, even you?" I asked her.

"With Jasper, it is very understandable why he acts the way he does around people and I really am willing to take him in and bring him up the way his parents should have. Please Carlisle, he has nobody else" she begged.

"I'll talk to Jasper about it, but we will also have to discuss it with the children" I replied to her with a sigh.

A huge smile appeared on her face and then she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh thank you honey".

I hugged her back while wondering what Jasper would say when I told him that we would be willing to take him in. Would he want to come back with us?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I wake up to my 5 o' clock alarm so I turn it off and sneak out of the bed so that Esme could have an extra hour lie in. I had a quick shower and then got changed and then went down the stairs to head into the kitchen to make myself a quick breakfast before heading to work.

I put two slices of bread in the toaster and put the kettle on. I then grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and filled it with instant coffee and sugar. Once the kettle had boiled, I poured the hot water into the cup and gave it a stir and then the bread had popped up out of the toaster. I put them on a plate and buttered them so that they were then ready to eat.

After I had eaten the toast and drank my coffee, I put on my shoes and coat and walked outside, locking the front door behind me. It was another rainy day with no surprise but it didn't effect me as I would be spending the whole day indoors, in the hospital to be exact.

I was going to talk to Jasper straight away about my and Esme's discussion yesterday and I'll see how he would take it. I had a feeling that he would rather live in a home with Alice rather than choose the option of going to a mental institution and I hoped that he would too. Out of all places too place him, a mental institution was the worst option as it was bound to make him worse and after everything that he has been through, I want him to live the rest of his teenage years experiencing the real feeling of family.

As I started the car, I headed out of the driveway and drove to forks hospital.

After 10 minutes of driving, I passed Jasper's house which was when his father had popped into my head. Where was he? I have to admit, the thought of Jasper's father missing had worried me. If we do end up taking Jasper in, we would have to keep a careful eye on him and make sure that he wouldn't get out of our sight. I don't know what I would do if he would get hurt by him again and if Jasper was in my hands, I would blame myself. I want Jasper to know that we can protect him and I will do just that.

I parked my car once I reached the hospital and signed myself in when I was in the building.

"Ah, Dr Cullen. It's a good job you got here early, he is having nightmares again" one of the nurses informed.

I nodded at her and went straight to the psych ward on the second level. The second I reached there, I could hear the usual terrifying screams and I wondered how long he had been screaming like this. I opened his door to find him banging the back of his head against the wall repeatedly which made me instantly run to him.

I pulled him away from the wall and against my chest and he automatically struggled against me but I wasn't surprised at all at this. This is the same reaction I always get when trying to wake him up.

"Jasper, it's Ok. Calm down, it's just a dream" I hushed.

He began to pound his head against my chest and it actually blew the air out of me as he was now much stronger than he was previously. This was because he was eating a bit more now so the calories were really giving him the energy he needed. Hopefully, it won't be long until he actually starts to put on weight as it really sickens me when I see how bony the father had made him.

I started to rock Jasper and grab his clenching hands as the tears fall from his eyes.

"It's not real Jasper. Wake up for me" I whispered in his ear.

Eventually his screams turned into whimpers and heavy breaths as his tense body relaxed against mine.

"It's alright, you're safe here" I assured him.

He pulled his head back so that he could look at me, his blue eyes boring into mine as if he was trying to reassure himself that I was safe to be near. He then began to look around his room and back to me seeming curious.

"Where did Alice go?" he asked.

"You fell asleep yesterday Jasper so I put you in your bed and we left. We didn't want to wake you" I answered.

He suddenly looked at the ground and started to whisper to himself. "Stupid, stupid".

Jasper then began to claw at his face in distress and I intervened, pulling his hands away from his face so that he wouldn't harm himself.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked.

"She hates me. She'll think I'm a...no I _am _a freak. I'm so stupid"

Despite answering my question, he appeared to be talking to himself rather than to me.

"So stupid, such an idiot" he continued to mumble.

"Jasper, tell me what you're talking about" I told him.

"Need Alice" he whimpered as he looked around his room again but this time, with a panicked expression.

I looked at my watch. 6:25.

"Jasper, Alice is getting ready for school. She can visit in the evening" I assured.

I have a feeling that demanding to see Alice we'll become a habit of his now that I gave in to him yesterday.

"No, she won't want to see me anymore. She won't talk to me anymore. She won't try to be my friend. She won't even look at me. She hates me. I'm so stupid. How could I be so stupid?" He continued to mumble to himself.

He began to hyperventilate as he clenched his fist.

"Jasper, calm down. Talk to me; why does Alice hate you?"

I knew for a fact that Alice didn't hate Jasper but for some reason, Jasper seems to think so.

"I'm a slut. Alice thinks I'm special but she's wrong because I'm not. I'm just a filthy slut" he said in disgust.

"No; listen to me Jasper. You are not a slut. Do not say such things. I thought I told you that none of this was your fault" I tried to convince.

"I am; father said so" he mumbled.

I hated how he listened to what his father had to say but my words meant nothing to him. Maybe only the insults mattered.

"I don't care what your father thinks of you. We all know that its not true"

What does it take to get through to him?

"Yes it is! The first few years I let him do what he wanted and even did what he told me to do without hesitation and why? Because I'm sick" he raised his voice.

"Jasper, you were very young. You didn't understand that what he was doing was wrong"

"You're right, I _was _very young. I was 9 when I let him fuck me and you know what? I didn't tell anybody nor did I run away even though I knew that he would do it again. Why? Because I'm a filthy whore" He shouted back.

I have to admit, hearing Jasper reveal such things had made me feel a little sick. How could is own father steal the innocence of his own nine year old son? I had no idea where shy and quiet Jasper had disappeared to but I actually wanted him back.

"Jasper, you need to calm down. Remember what I said about keeping calm?" I said quietly.

"I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be anywhere. I should be dead" he began to mumble as he pulled on his hair again.

"Don't say that Jasper. You know what happens if you are still suicidal" I warned.

"No, I mean it. If she hadn't been stupid and thought I was worth saving, I wouldn't be in this place for lunatics because I would be a corpse rotting in the sea" he spat.

The facts had began to hit me. She? Worth saving? A corpse rotting in the sea? My stomach began to flip as I began to suspect the worst.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned.

He regretfully looked away from me, going silently whilst shifting uncomfortably.

"Jasper, what are you talking about?" I repeated a bit more firmly.

He began to shake and breathe unevenly and his nervous look had pretty much answered my question.

"That night Alice called me, telling me that you had drowned, that wasn't accidental was it?" I asked, hoping for confirmation.

Jasper pulled his hands away from his hair and started to bite his knuckles, still avoiding eye contact.

"Answer me Jasper" I demanded.

He flinched at my voice and I hoped that I didn't sound like his father but I was so desperate for his answer.

"Please Jasper, just tell me; the night Alice first found you, you had attempted suicide hadn't you?"

Tears began to fall from his eyes.

And then he nodded.

**I hope you guys liked this chapter. I know that it was a little boring and there was an alternative ending but I will put that in the next chapter. **

**According to my story plan, Carlisle would have found out about Jasper's suicide from Alice but once I reached the near end, I thought that maybe Jasper should reveal it in his moment if self hatred.**

**Reviews please!**


	35. Chapter 35

**No updates tomorrow but I will try to update Monday and that will probably be the last quick update because like I have warned you guys, my updates are going to start coming slowly but I want you to know that I will NOT give up on this story no matter what and that's a promise!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Carlisle POV**

I couldn't believe it. Why didn't Alice say anything? She knew from the start that Jasper was suicidal but she just kept it a secret between her and Jasper. Would have things gone differently if I knew from the start? I don't know but I have to focus more on the present now.

"I'm sorry sir" Jasper mumbled quietly as he tried to dry up his tears.

I held him closer to me and began to rub his back as he leaned the side of head on my shoulder.

"What for Jasper?" I asked.

"For making Alice lie to you. It wasn't her fault... I also didn't mean to shout at you.I was just...stressed out I guess" he apologised.

Well at least he managed to snap out of his self hating behaviour; for now.

"Stressed about what?" I questioned.

He just shrugged at me and sighed which made me more curious.

"Tell me Jasper" I insisted.

"I just need to talk to Alice" he whispered.

I knew that he was desperate but I couldn't just bring her here because she would be heading to school soon. Maybe I could phone her before she leaves so that Jasper could talk to her for a little while.

"Do you want to speak to her on the phone?" I asked him.

His looked at me instantly, seeing if I were serious or not and then he nodded his head rapidly. I pulled out my mobile and rung the home phone and waited for somebody to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi Esme, it's Carlisle. Is Alice there?"

"Not at the moment, she's in the shower" Esme answered.

"Oh, could you get her to ring me back once she is out?" I asked.

"Of course honey"

"Thank you, bye dear"

"Bye"

After I hung up, I looked at Jasper's face and he looked a little disappointed. I hoped that Alice wouldn't be in that shower for to long other wise she wouldn't have time to speak to him.

"She's going to call us back" I reassured.

He nodded at me and began to look at the phone in my hand, waiting for the next call. I knew that he would continue to do this until Alice finally got out of that shower but I knew that she would be a while. Maybe I should take his mind off her. Which reminded me...

"Jasper, I need to have a bit of a talk with you" I said as I placed my phone back in my pocket.

Jasper looked at me while shifting uncomfortably. Did he think that he was in trouble?

"What about?" he asked uncertainly.

"What's going to happen to you" I stated.

"You're going to tell them about that night aren't you? That means they'll lock me up in a place full of lunatics" he panicked.

"Listen to me Jasper, there are currently two options and it is entirely up to you which you choose but that is considering that you make sure that you stop thinking about suicide. I know that it's difficult but if you talk to me about it, I can get you the help you need" I advised.

"What are the two options?" he sighed.

"Option one is that you will be placed in a mental institution where..."

"No! I am not going" he shouted at me.

"Alright Jasper, calm down. I told you there were two options" I spoke calmly.

"And what is the second option?" he asked curiously.

Please don't have the same reaction to option 1, I silently begged.

"That you come home with me" I revealed.

Jasper gave me a confused expression while tilting his head like a puppy.

"I thought... I thought that you said... well when I was in the hospital down stairs, you said that I was... I was already coming home with you until they find somewhere else" he questioned.

I think he may have misunderstood what I just meant.

"Yes, I did but what I mean is... permanently" I added.

He still carried the confused expression and tried to figure me out. He was looking me up and down to see if I was serious or just messing with him.

"You mean like...um...a...ad..."

"Adopting, yes" I finished his stuttering question.

He then began to shake is head repeatedly.

"No, no, you don't...you don't want me in your house. I'm bad, I'm not...I'm not a good person" he stammered.

"Jasper, you are a good person. Do not think otherwise" I assured.

He continued to shake his head.

"No. I'll break your things. I already broke one of your glasses and I...I would wake you all up and nobody w...would want me there. Nobody wants me anywhere"

"Jasper for the last time, I didn't care about the glass that you broke; it was an accident. Accidents happen and yes, we do want you there. Alice would love it if you joined the family and my wife insisted that you come home with us and to be honest with you Jasper, _I _want you there" I admitted.

He stopped shaking his head and looked at me and it seemed that his blue eyes had brightened if that were possible. The emotion in his face had told me that my words had meant something to him.

"Really?" he whispered.

I smiled and nodded at him and is eyes then looked back to the ground but I didn't miss the grin that had just appeared on his face. It was like he had never heard of hope and now he has been given it. But then the grin faded an he looked back up at me.

"But...but Alice's brother... he um, he wouldn't want me there" he hesitated.

"Jasper, tonight when I get home, I will have a talk with my children and I am sure that they would _all _like the idea of having you as a brother".

He smiled at the term 'brother' but moved nervously. It was an expected reaction. He was a single child so he doesn't even know what it feels like to have siblings so it was a thing to be both happy and nervous about.

Ever since the day Jasper had almost bled to death, Edward had held a guilty look on his face and I knew that he was very disappointed in himself. He just never realised how bad Jasper really was and how much help he really needed. He knows now and I'm sure that Edward's attitude towards Jasper would change. The only bad thing is that once somebody scares Jasper, he would keep his distance from them for a long time and would panic when they were close. I just hoped that things would end well between the two. Edward just needs to give Jasper time to overcome the recent events.

"So, are you going for option 2?" I asked.

He grinned at me and eagerly nodded and I was glad to see the very rare emotion on his face. He cuddled up to me again like we were not many minutes ago and just as he relaxed against me, my phone started ringing making Jasper flinch.

I pulled out my mobile and gave it to Jasper, smiling at him. He looked at me then at the phone to see the screen name 'Alice'. He was about to press the answer button but then turned to me.

"Is it Ok if I um...could be on my own?" he nervously asked.

I couldn't deny his wishes and there was nothing harmful that could happen if I left him in his room with my phone for a few minutes so I nodded, got up and left.

**Jasper POV**

I watched as Carlisle left the room before I answered the phone.

"Al...Alice" I heavily breathed down the phone.

"Jasper, is that you?" I heard an angelic voice ask.

I nodded but then realised that she could only hear me. It's not my fault; I've never actually owned one of these devices.

"Yeah...yeah it's me" I answered.

"Oh Jazz, are you Ok?" she asked.

I stupidly nodded again. "Um, I'm Ok. I just... I just needed to er...um"

I was pretty much lost for words. I hated it when I did this. Why did I have to be such a nervous wreck?

"It's Ok, take your time Jazz. I have like 20 minutes until I need to leave anyway" she informed me.

"I just um... are you mad at me?" I asked her.

"What? Why would I be mad at you?" She questioned back.

"Um, yesterday I er... I'm sorry that I... that I freaked" I apologised.

"Jasper, I know that you can't help that. You just had me scared for a minute but you're Ok and that's what I care about" she replied.

"Did you um...yesterday what you said...did you...mean that?" I nervously asked.

"Of course I did Jasper. Why would I say something like that if I didn't mean it?" she rhetorically asked.

Wait, she actually meant that? Maybe I heard it wrong. She told me that she had fallen in love? With me? I just didn't think that it was possible. I don't even know what love feels like. I guess I'm just too use to pain and misery.

"Ok" I simply answered.

"Ok? Is that it?"

"Um, I don't know what to say" I admitted.

"Of course you don't Jasper. I'm sorry, I just keep forgetting how difficult is for you" she sounded disappointed.

Why?

"Did I... Did I make you mad?" I asked as I put my hand through my hair.

"No. No Jazz. Why do you keep thinking that you're making me mad?"

"Because I'm not like everybody else" I mumbled.

"You know what Jazz? You're right. I already told you this so you should be able to answer it. Why are you not like everybody else" she asked as her cheerful voice returned.

I couldn't deny hearing that again so instead of answering the truth, I gave her the answer she wanted.

"Because I'm special" I said, unconvinced.

"That's right Jazz, you are and you should keep telling yourself that. Do you want me to visit you after school?" she asked.

"I'd like that" I smiled.

"Then I'll see you there" she happily replied.

"Oh, are you going now?" I sadly asked.

"Emmett is complaining because I won't hurry up" she commented.

"Ok, Oh but Alice, before you hang up, could I ask you something?"

"Sure Jazz, anything" she replied.

"Well, remember what you said yesterday before I kinda freaked out on you? I just... well...does anything change?"

"What do you mean?" Alice questioned.

How do I put this? Oh god, please don't make me sound weird.

"You won't uh...well when people like each other I know that they start to..._touch_..."

"Oh no no no, Jasper. That kinda thing happens when people are in very strong relationship Ok? When I told you my true feelings for you Jazz, it doesn't mean that I have any right to do those kind of things to you"

I sighed in relief. I guess that was the main thing that made me nervous. I don't want to be touched ever again.

"Ok"

"But hey Jazz? Were still friends right?"

She already saw me as a friend? Wow. My first ever friend and I didn't even know it.

"I suppose. I really like you Alice, thank you"

"Why thank me?" she asked curiously.

"For being the first person to like me. For giving me a chance". I felt tears trying to force themselves out of my eyes.

"Jasper, you are the bravest, greatest and most special person that I have ever met and I am glad that I saved you that day"

Oh shit, as much as I took those words to heart, that reminded me...

"Alice, your dad knows about the whole suicide thing" I admitted.

I thought that she was going to be angry at me but she shocked me.

"Good. He deserves to know"

I smiled. I always think the worst of things but maybe, just maybe... my life will start changing.

"Oh my god Emmett, shut the fuck up. I'm on the phone" I heard Alice shout. "Alright Jazz, I better go. I'll see you later and that's a promise"

"Bye Alice" I said quietly.

"Bye"

And then she was gone.

I sighed and then walked up to my door to let Carlisle back in. Once he was in my room again, I returned his phone.

"Thank you sir"

It wasn't just a thank you for letting me use the phone. It was also for doing his best for helping me out. I doubted this guy. When I first met him, I thought that he was just like my father but now he is willing to give me another chance at life and give me a new start to experience family. I couldn't believe it when he said that he was willing to adopt me. I thought that he was just messing with me but he had looked so serious.

The only downside is Edward. I really don't think that he would be happy with me living in the same house as him despite what Carlisle had said. He hated my guts and it was almost as if he knew what happened to me and realised how disgusting I am. I will do my best to stay away from him because if anything happens between us, I know that they would choose Edward over me as they have known him for longer.

"You're welcome. And stop calling me sir; you know me well enough to call me Carlisle" he insisted.

"Sorry" I apologised.

"You have so many habits Jasper and one of those is constantly apologising"

I was about to open my mouth to apologise again but Carlisle put his finger up to stop me from talking and I grinned realising what I was about to do.

"No apologies, got it" I reminded myself.

Carlisle chuckled so I did too but then he looked at his watch.

"It's Ok Carlisle. You can go. I'll be alright for a while" I said.

"You sure" he asked and I nodded at him.

"Alright then Jasper. Remember, if you need me..."

"Tell the nurses, I got it" I finished.

"Your doing good Jasper, your doing good" Carlisle praised as he patted my back.

And the best part was that I didn't even flinch. I smiled, proud of myself and then watched Carlisle leave my room. Now all I have to do is wait for about 7 hours until Alice will come and visit me again.

**There we go... happy chapters. For those who intend on reviewing, could you tell me what you think should happen with Alice and Jasper? We all know that the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing may be a bit soon but what if they were to take things super slow? Because at the moment, Jasper does really like Alice but because he is so inexperienced with the feeling of love, he doesn't realise that he doesn't **_**just**_** 'really like her' it's much more than that... but he doesn't quite know it yet. So should they try a relationship?**


	36. Chapter 36

**Remember guys, last update for a long time but I will do my best to make up for it with longer chapters but first I would need your support in reviews so don't stop.**

**Another song that I think you guys should check out that describes Jazz and Alice is 'Rest from the streets' by 'A friend in London feat. Carly rae Jepson'**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Alice POV**

I knock on the door to Jasper's room and patiently wait for him to answer. Yesterday I had waited rather long until I realised that he wasn't going to open the door so I had opened it myself but he was expecting me today so he should open it himself. I didn't like the idea of just walking in because it would be rather rude and I wanted to make Jasper feel like he had a choice. Being in a place like this meant that nurses would be invading his room a lot of the time but thanks to Carlisle, its not happening anymore.

The door slowly opened and Jasper had a weary look on his face but relaxed once he saw me. I opened my arms out to him and he returned the gesture, snuggling his nose into my neck.

"Hey Jazz" I said in a friendly tone.

He didn't answer but held me tighter which made me happy for the fact that he really did love my comfort. I felt his warm breath on my neck which seemed rather even so he was definitely comfortable right now.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"Good now that your here" he replied quietly since his mouth was close to my ear.

I pulled back a little to get a good look at him. Yesterday there were claw marks on his face but today they had completely faded so I suppose he wasn't very stressed today. Did me being here affect him that much?

"In general Jasper, how are you?" I repeated more specifically.

"Good. I'm good" he nodded.

I smiled, happy with is answer and then took his hand to lead him to his bed to sit down. We both sat with our back against the wall so that Jasper could lean against me whilst we entwined our fingers together.

"Thank you for being here Alice" he whispered.

"Jazz, I love spending time with you. There is no reason why I wouldn't be here" I replied making him smile which shows of those adorable dimples.

"I um...love spending time with you too" he nervously spoke.

"Good" I said, smiling to relax him. "Is there any news about how much longer you're gonna be stuck in this place?" I asked him.

I couldn't stand it no longer. Jasper is perfectly fine; he doesn't need to be held in psych ward. All he needs his is people being extra careful and to not scare him.

He nodded in response but didn't say anything.

"Well?" I encouraged.

He shook his head at me. "Carlisle said that he was going to tell you about it"

"Well he hasn't said anything yet. Come on, tell me" I insisted.

He replied with another shake of the head. "He probably wants to tell you when you are all together"

"All?"

I was confused. What did he mean by 'all'? Why did Carlisle need to talk to anybody else about it?

He didn't reply but just moved his body a little closer to mine, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"Could you at least tell me who 'all' includes?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Your family I guess".

I turned to look at him curiously but his expression was very plain.

"My family? What does my famil..." I smile started to appear on my face "Wow, my dad really did get attached to you" I said in realisation.

"Alice"

"So my dad is adopting you?" I happily asked, finding it impossible to hide the huge grin off my face.

"I...guess".

I really couldn't believe it. I had a great family and now Jasper gets to be part of it. He deserves a to live with people that actually love and understand him. We would give him all of his needs. With us he might grow to be more confident and hopefully, learn the real meaning of love. I so badly wanted him to know what it feels like. My family would definitely help him gain weight until it was healthy for him, they would mae him feel safe in our house. They would protect him from that hidden monster out there.

"You don't sound too happy about it" I pointed out.

"No I am. I'm very happy; I just...I was very um...nervous when I first visited your family and now the thought of living there is just so..." He stopped to think of a word.

"Over welming?"I finished for him and he nodded in agreement.

"You will love it with us Jazz, I promise" I reassured him.

Boy, Carlisle better be ready for that huge hug that I was going to give him next time I saw him. He needed us and now he has us.

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxooxx ooxoxoxooxoxo

Many hours later

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Rosalie's POV**

"Edward, get your ass off that piano and get downstairs. Dad wants to speak to us again" I ordered as I barged in his room.

"One day, people will understand the term 'knocking' he muttered behind me as I turned around to go to Emmett's room.

I opened his door and as usual, he was on Xbox. I swear he was addicted to that thing.

"Jesus christ you little douche bag, that was my kill!" Emmett screamed at the screen.

I stood in the doorway with my hand on my hip, waiting for my idiot of a boyfriend to look my way but his eyes were glued to the TV with a look of concentration.

"That's it you little bitch, that what you get for throwing a grenade at me" he spoke again.

"Emmett" I called.

"Not now Rose, we need to smash all these mother fucking quick scopers" he replied, still not looking away from the screen.

Knowing that he wouldn't listen to me if I told him to turn that stupid machine off, I walked in and turned it off myself.

"Rose come on babe, you always ruin my fun" Emmett complained.

"Yeah well, dad wants you downstairs; everyone else already is" I replied.

With a sigh, he got up and followed me out and down stars into the main room where Carlisle and the rest of the family were. This was the second family meeting in a week which was very unusual but I had a feeling that it was regarding Jasper. The huge smile on Alice's face gave it away. Carlisle waited for us to sit down before he spoke. Esme stood by his side while the rest of us sat on the sofas.

"Now that you are all here, I would like to talk to you about something very important" Carlisle announced. "I understand that you are all aware of the situation that Jasper is in although not all of you know the details, nor do you need to know. He is currently in the psych ward but not much longer. One of the doctors had spoken to me today and requested that Jasper be put in a special placement. That of which would have a doctor and somebody with experience with adopted children" he stopped to give us time to take this in.

That doctor was Carlisle and he and Esme had that experience.

"You're adopting him?" I asked.

"That is what me and Esme have decided, yes. Plus Jasper is keen on the idea too and right now he is desperate for a family" Carlisle answered.

"Dude, to be honest, I don't see that going down well" Emmett commented.

"Shut up Emmett" Edward muttered.

"What? It's true. The guy is just so...hidden, you know? He's always scared shitless" Emmett continued.

I knew that Emmett had a point. When you look into his eyes, he just looks so frightened. He seemed to think that everybody wanted to hurt him but I noticed that he relaxed more when he was around Alice. If she lived here, Jasper would do just fine.

"Do you blame him Emmett? you may not know everything but you know enough to know that he is being abused. Of course he is going to be like that but he needs us" Alice spoke up.

"I wanted to inform you this because I want you to know that if we are going to take Jasper in, it would require a few changes around here" Carlisle stated.

"What changes?" Edward curiously asked.

"Well first things first, the sharp knives in the kitchen will be locked away so from now on, if you need to use those, you ask me. If there are any sharp objects in your room, a compass in your maths set for an example would also need to be kept safely away" Carlisle instructed which Emmett replied with a groan.

"Also, you all know that Jasper is very skittish and we don't want you scaring him off so it is probably best if you remain very calm around him and to not shout" Esme added while looking at Emmett as if her words were aimed at him.

"Oh, and although Jazz isn't to keen on social behaviour, unless of course he is talking to me, it would help if you began to socialize with him. Let him know that you don't hate him; especially you Edward" Alice said as she glared at her brother.

"And most important of all, be patient with him" Carlisle said.

"When will you adopt him" I asked.

"Well, in order to become his legal guardian, I would need to sign papers and such but after a bit of negotiation with Dr Simmons today, he said that he could be placed with us early since he seems to make more progress with the presence of either me and Alice. It's possible that he might be here when you come home from school tomorrow. That's not for definite though" Carlisle informed.

The thought of Jasper staying with us and even becoming a brother had actually relieved me. Sometimes I thought 'what if they give him back to that sick bastard?' It made me rather nervous knowing that there was currently some rapist out there but I knew that I was safe because the monster out there only wanted the pleasure of one person.

Jasper

And to be honest, I knew that this wasn't over.

Which was why we needed to protect him.

**I noticed that I had done every body but Rosalie's POV so that's why I did it in hers. Also, I said that Jasper could be home tomorrow after they are home from school. I know it seems too soon (And I'd appreciate it if you're honest with me and tell me what you think) its just that I want my next chapter to be when Jasper is finally out of psych ward. I'm getting kinda bored with that and I feel like it's dragging the story on a bit. Plus, he has been there for about a week now anyways. But if there are people that believe that he really should stay then I'll stick with it.**

**The chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be but PLEASE REVIEW-I may update earlier than I think if I am convinced that you guys want to hear more**


	37. Chapter 37

**SURPRISE!**

**It turns out that I **_**can **_**still ****update. I still wont be updating every day but hopefully atleast once or twice a week depending on my amazing reviewers.**

**Thank you for my reviews and to 'Ichirukillullaby' for bringing up another song good for the story. It's called 'she changes the weather' by Swim deep. If any of you guys know a good song that describes the story or Jasper and Alice's relationship, be sure to tell me.**

**Disclaimer: You guys know that twilight is not owned by me**

**Carlisle POV**

The adoption certificate had been signed along with all the other paper work. Two people had come round the house today to see if it was suitable for a suicidal child and thankfully, after finding out that I have had all sharp objects and all medication hidden, they said that it was good enough for him although they advised me to keep any type of rope and string out of his room as well plus, making sure that his trainers are velcro straps rather than lases as they wanted to reduce the risks of suicide even though they claimed that he was mentally well enough now.

Another thing that I was advised not to do is putting a lock on Jasper's bedroom door once we have it sorted out. I have to admit, before they came around, I had considered putting one on because I wanted Jasper to feel as safe as possible but then again, I do understand why they told me not to. If Jasper ever did find the knives, break into the medical cupboard or sneak some sort of rope into his room, it would be a very long time until we get suspicious and break in finding his dead body on the floor. I know that Jasper said that he didn't want to die anymore but all it takes is a bad moment to trigger the suicidal side of him and I didn't want to risk that.

"Are you alright Jasper?"

He was sitting next to me in the car and I noticed that he was shaking although I was not surprised by this. He had been shaking since I had woken him up from screaming this morning but I wasn't sure if it was just nerves, a terrible nightmare or if he was just generally scared of being away from the hospital and closer to his father who is still on the run.

"Yeah, just nervous" he admitted, his southern accent kicking in stronger than usual.

"Of anything in particular?" I specifically asked.

He shrugged in response. "I'm not use to new things"

"Not many people are, Jasper. Just remember that this family will be here to support you. They won't judge you or hurt you in anyway Ok?" I assured him.

He nodded at me and then looked out of the window as we pass the trees. I had a feeling that it was more than just nerves. He was afraid.

We eventually reached the house but once I parked up the car, we waited for a few minutes and then I turned to Jasper.

"It's just Esme home at the moment. The rest are at school" I informed him.

He nodded. "When will Alice be home?"

"Just over an hour and half" I answered.

Once they told me that I could take Jasper home, I decided that the sooner the better. I wanted him to come home when the house was at its most peaceful as I didn't want him to feel overwhelmed. I wanted him to feel at least a little bit settled in before the others got home from school.

"Um Carlisle?"

"Yes Jasper?"

"My um, my father... they haven't found him yet have they?" he questioned doubtfully.

I sighed, feeling very unfortunate for this boy. I hated that I couldn't do anything about that sick mans disappearance.

"No" quietly answered.

Jasper leaned his head back and I noticed that he was trying to fight back the tears.

"Jasper, listen to me. That man may still be out there but I will _not _let him lay another finger on you. Do you understand?"

He turned his head again to look at me. It was a look with meaning, like what I had said had meant a lot to him. It was true though. I already felt like I would do anything for this boy. That monster would have to get through me before he chooses to hurt Jasper.

He nodded at me and then took a deep breath.

"I think I'm ready now" he spoke forcefully as he took his seatbelt off.

I took mine off too and then got out of the car, then Jasper followed me closely as I walk up to the house. I open the door since it was unlocked and shouted for Esme so that she could welcome our new...well, I guess he is our son now.

Jasper did the usual 'looking around for danger' thing but I wasn't surprised. This is the first time that he has been out of the hospital for a little over a week and a half. He just wanted to know if his father was hiding somewhere in the house and I knew that he wouldn't rest until he felt safe enough.

"Oh hello sweetie" Esme welcomed him as she walked down the stairs.

I notice Jasper tense in the corner of my eye as I watch my wife slowly walk towards him. Noticing how nervous Jasper looked, Esme didn't get too close, keeping about a metre distance.

"Are you hungry dear?" she asked him.

"Um..I don't think so" he slowly replied.

He didn't know whether he was hungry or not? I guess it was because not eating for a long time had messed up his appetite and while he was in the hospital, he didn't eat when he got hungry, he ate when he was given food and watched just to make sure that he ate it all.

"Ok honey, how about I show you to your new room and while you get settled, I will make you a quick snack. How does that sound?" she tried again.

"I thought that..." Jasper silenced himself and started to think.

"You thought what?" I asked him.

"Nothing" he mumbled.

"Tell me Jasper" I insisted.

He just shook his head an looked back at my wife. "I'd like to see my room".

He was changing the subject. What had he thought? It was clear that he was expecting something else and it was something better because he seemed to be disappointed when he heard that he had his own room. His own room. That's what it was. He wanted to share the room with Alice again. I remember him telling me how he had managed to sleep properly the first time without having a nightmare when he shared with Alice on the night that he stayed. But I couldn't let him do that. After a certain age, it is illegal for siblings of the opposite sex to share a room and now Jasper is part of the family, he is classed as Alice's sibling. I couldn't even let it be one night because I knew that one night would turn into two and so on. I didn't mind how Jasper seemed to be glued to her but I couldn't let him make a habit of this. I needed him to be less reliant on her.

Esme looked a me and I nodded at her so she led him up the stairs to show him his new bedroom. I just hope that being in the same house as Alice would calm him from his nightmares.

**Esme POV**

From the first day that I saw Jasper, I had pretty much already welcomed him to the family. He was just so lost and frightened. No child should have gone through what he did and I would do anything to take all the bad things in his life away but unfortunately, it's impossible. All I can do for him is make the rest of his living life a good one. I want him to feel welcome, comfortable and happy. I wanted him to feel part of the family but obviously that won't happen just yet. He needs to settle in first.

I opened his bedroom door to reveal a rather big room with light blue walls and plain white curtains that matched his bed sheets. His bed was a little bigger than average size and a set of drawers was placed next to it. He also had a large desk and a wardrobe to fit in the amount of clothes that Alice had in mind of buying him.

He hesitantly walked in and his eyes had wandered the whole room, not missing the smallest area. His eyes then landed on the drawer in the corner of the room. In fact, he seemed to glare at it.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" I asked him.

He forcefully nodded although he didn't move his eyes as they continued to burn holes into the drawer.

"Alright then. I'll make you a quick sandwich, is that Ok?" I asked.

He repeated his gesture so I hesitantly left the room to let him win the war with the furniture. I am already rather worried about him. Did he not like the drawers? I walked back down the stairs, meeting Carlisle at the bottom.

"Did he like it?" he asked.

I shook my head at him. "I'm not sure. I don't think that he was keen on the drawers" I replied.

"I had a feeling he wouldn't" Carlisle mumbled.

"What do you mean?" I questioned him.

"Esme, he doesn't hate the drawers, he just doesn't like where I placed them" he answered me.

"I'm confused" I stated.

"I don't know what it is with Jasper but he seems to always be drawn to the left corner of the room. I placed the drawers there because if I didn't, he would be sitting all day, everyday in that corner like he did when he was in psych ward. It even took a lot of convincing to get him to sleep in a bed when we were there" Carlisle informed.

It was very confusing why he did this but Carlisle told me that Jasper was full of many bad habits such as biting his knuckles, clawing at his face when he's stressed, clenching his fists so tight that he drew blood from them and worse of them all, self harming when he is depressed. Carlisle just forgot to mention the 'sitting in the corner' thing. Maybe because it wasn't as bad as the others.

"Should I move it for him?" I asked.

"No, he'll get use to it" he answered plainly.

I nodded to him and then headed to the kitchen to make my new son a sandwich to keep him going until dinner once the rest of my children get back from school.

**There we have it...**

**Oh by the way, on chapter 35, I had a guest reviewer but whoever you are, I would like to say that I think your idea is very good and I might actually use that... if you dont mind. Please get back to me. Like review and tell me that was you and you're Ok/not ok with it. Oh, and give me a name so if I do use it, I won't take all the credit :)**

**Also, for those who are giving me suggestions about Alice and Jasper or chapters that can happen, I just want you to know that I have actually considered all your ideas and thought about making a few changes etc. so feel free to suggest.**

**And for those other people, please review! **


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews. It may have been the most that I have had so far so yeah, thanks!**

**By the way guys, I uploaded a one shot a couple of days ago and it would be awesome if you guys would check it out. It's called 'disappointment' and it's a Jasper and Edward moment after the paper cut scene in 'new moon' so check it out and review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Jasper POV**

I couldn't tell if I was comfortable here or not. I mean, I feel a lot safer than how I would at my actual home with my father but I hated unfamiliar places. Take my new room for an example. It was too big and everything was in the wrong place. As soon as Esme had left the room after she gave me my sandwich, I had soon rushed to the horrible drawers and pulled the out of my comforting corner and just left it in the middle of the spacey room.

I then grabbed the couple of pillows laying on the bed and sat them down in the corner to make it even more comfy. Once I was satisfied, I sat down with my plate and looked at the sandwich that Esme had made me. She had used brown bread with a tuna and mayonnaise filling, and had cut them into 4 squares which I liked because I prefered food in small quantities. I picked one square and took a few bites out of it and then put the crust back on the plate; nobody likes the crust. It was a satisfying taste but nobody was here watching me eat so I didn't feel any pressure on being forced to eat it all so I just layed the plate in front of me with the three remaining squares and just waited; waited for Alice.

Why did Carlisle bring me home while Alice was at school? I won't fit in this place unless I'm near her. When I asked Carlisle how long until Alice was coming home, he said an hour and a half and I say it has been estimatley half an hour so I will just have to sit in the corner until the hour is up.

I knew that it would take a very long time and I needed her right now. I needed to feel her lips on mine again. I don't understand why I wanted to taste them that bad. Was it normal that I wanted too? Who am I kidding? Jasper Whitlock _isn't _normal. I have pretty much already proved that when they sent me to that mental place.

I began to find it harder to keep my eyes open but I forced myself to stay awake. I didn't want to sleep knowing that Alice would be home soon. But then again, if I had a quick nap, then it wouldn't be so difficult to stay awake tonight. I had planned that later on I will not be going to sleep because I didn't like the idea of being in a house of...well strangers without the protection of Alice. I have to stay awake for as many nights as possible. I guess a nap will make things easier. Besides, all it takes is a knock on the door to wake e up ad less I'm having a nightmare and I won't even be sleeping long enough to have one of those so I'll be Ok.

So after a lot of thought, I close my eyes to have a short nap.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

My eyes shot open at the sound of a car driving into the driveway making me instantly stand up and run out of my room and down the stairs. I stopped on the last step and stood, staring at the front door, waiting or the moment that it would open to reveal my angel.

Carlisle stood by me and put his hand on my shoulder but my eyes never parted from the door. Hurry up Alice!

Finally the door swung open and I took a step back up another stair when I realised it was Edward. He looked my way but he didn't glare like he usually did. _It's a trick! It's because his father is next to me! _ Once he was satisfied with what he saw, he looked away and walked into the main room so I relaxed and took another step down.

"Jazz!"

I heard Alice's angelic voice and the next thing I knew, she had her arms wrapped around my skinny frame and I return the gesture, glad that she was finally here.

"It's so good to see you here Jazz" she whispered in my ear.

I breathed in her beautiful scent as I hold her tighter. This angel had no idea what she does to me. She is the only reason why I'm glad that I am alive today and it confuses me so much as to why. When I first met Alice, I had actually hated her. I hated how she saved my life but now I am so lucky to be alive an it was all because of her. That is why she is my angel.

Alice is the one that pulls away from the hug and I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that she knows I wont be the one to pull away. If it was down to me, I would hold on to her all day every day. As we parted, I notice Alice's biggest brother, Emmett, standing in front of us and the sudden realisation gives me a scare as I back up to create a distance between us. Alice grabs my hand and pulls me closer to her, meaning closer to Emmett. I have to admit, he really was a very scary guy, even with that huge smile on his face.

"I hear we gotta new brother" Emmett spoke as he pulled out his hand so that I could shake it.

I just stared at him, avoiding the hand shake that he offered. Brother? Oh hell no. I was not doing this whole happy families thing. I'm not even a member of this family; I'm just some kid that the doctor wants to help out that is too messed up to look after himself. He took his hand back but didn't walk away.

Alice looked at me as if she were waiting for me to say something back. Then I looked back at her with desperation as if to say '_don't make me talk to your scary brother'. _She continued to give me her 'pleading' look but I just looked to the floor to avoid giving into it.

"So anyway dude, if you ever get bored and I'm here, just tell me and we can play on Xbox. I got Call of Duty man, everybody loves that game. And if I'm not here, like I'm at school or something, then your welcome to go in my room and play on my Xbox by yourself. See, I'm already cooler than Eddie" Emmett offered.

Both Alice and Emmett noticed me tense at there other brothers name. I would definitely need to keep my distance from Edward because I didn't want to make him angry; especially when Carlisle isn't there to stop him.

I nodded at Emmett in appreciation for actually trying to socialize with me but my eyes remained on the carpet. As kind as it was, I didn't want anybody talking to me but Alice. He smiled in return which showed off his dimples which I knew I also had and then walked past me to go up the stairs to get to his room. I quickly turned around to watch him as I didn't like the idea of having my back turned on people.

Once I heard Emmett's bedroom shut, I began to head up the stairs too, pulling Alice along with me.

"Where are you going Jazz? You haven't seen Rose yet" Alice stated.

"I don't want to. I want to go to your room" I replied quietly to her so that nobody else could hear.

"My room? Are you joking? I want to check out your new room" she said.

"Better not" I mumbled.

The front door then shut and I looked up to see Rosalie and her usual look of understanding. Seriously, it feels like she has watched my whole life on tape minus the disgust.

"Hello Jasper" Rosalie spoke in a friendly tone.

Alice squeezed my hand in encouragement so I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Hi" I mumbled.

Alice began to stroke the back of my hand with her thumb whereas Rosalie smiled at me or more likely, my response.

"I don't want to pressure you on your first day but once you have settled in this place, I'd like to talk to you" Rosalie informed me.

Talk? With me? I knew what she had in mind. She wanted me to back away from Alice and that she wanted me out of this family. And then she'll begin to hurt me in more ways that one until I agree to never talk or look at Alice again and demand Carlisle to take me to that mental institution place that I was originally going to. I can just see it all happening right now.

"Jazz, whatever your thinking, stop right now" Alice interrupted her thought as her concerned eyes were on mine, noticing my panicked expression.

I realised that I was shaking and that my breathing pace had picked up a little but not as much as usual thanks to the anti-depressant that Carlisle put me on. I could tell by the way Rose was looking at me, that she pitied me. Gaining enough confidence to look back at Rosalie, I nod at her hoping that she would be taking her expected 'talk' easy. She smiled again and then walked away.

"Alice, can we go now?" I desperately asked her.

She giggled in return and pretty much dragged me to my own room.

"Alice, _your_ room" I complained.

She smiled once she opened the door and welcomed herself in. She looked at a few things like they were special but then she turned to me.

"Jasper, what the hell did you do to that corner" she laughed as she pointed the area with the pillows.

I gave her a quick smiled and shrugged at her and then her eyes landed on the chest of drawers which were about a metre and a half away from the corner where I had pushed them.

"May I ask you why the corner fascinates you so much?" she questioned.

I looked away from her, not wanting to answer her question which caused her to near me and take my hands in her own.

"Jasper, the first time I saw you, you were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria. I find out in the first lesson that I had with you that your seat is in the corner of a room. When I visited you in psych ward never guess what Jasper? I am pretty sure that was a corner where you were sitting. And now look " she turned to point to the corner of the room where the pillows and the plate with 3 sandwich squares left are.

"Tell me" she begged.

I remain silent, trying to think of something to say. I didn't want to sound like a complete idiot. Realising that I wasn't going to say something, Alice puts my hands on the back of her waist so that my arms were around her. Then she leaned in and kissed my neck which had made me nervous. That was too near my fathers dominant bite! She raised her head a little more and then kissed a higher part of my neck. I close my eyes so that I could relaxed but it was very difficult to keep it all together. If it wasnt for those anti-depressant, I would be having a panic attack right now.

I just continue to stand there and let her do what she wanted. That's what I usually do. Raising her head again, she kissed my cheek, and then my ear which was followed by a whisper.

"Tell me"

Her forehead leans on the side of my face and the position was actually very comfortable.

"It just, it makes me feel...'not there'" I explained.

"Why would you want to feel 'not there'? she asked quietly.

"Because if I'm not there, nobody could hurt me" I whispered.

"Oh Jazz"

She pulled me into a tighter hug, rubbing my back in the process.

"I keep promising you that nobody will hurt you here" She reminded.

"I know, I guess old habits die hard" I answered her.

She pulled back and looked at me before reaching up on her tip toes to kiss my forehead which I had instantly relaxed at.

"Thank you"

"For what?" she asked.

"For doing that. It really make me feel comfortable when you do that" I explained.

She just smiled in return but that's all it took to make me smile.

**Excuse any mistakes, they will be corrected as soon as possible**

**Ok, maybe it was a little boring but every chapter deserves a review right? **

**So... Review!**


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